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working for huge government service desks has made me such a snob when it comes to receiving customer service from any private entity.

wattpad analytics have been down for a week, and I'm just sitting there seething going WHERE THE FUCK IS YOUR OUTAGE NOTIFICATION???

I put in a ticket with Inkitt a while back. they sat on it for a week before asking for additional info, then never followed up or provided any resolution. it put me in a rage like DO YOU NOT HAVE SLAs OR DO YOU JUST NOT GIVE A SHIT?? WHRE IS MY SURVEY I WANT MY SURVEY!!!

and it literally doesn't matter at all :3

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this dog is such a nuisance in so many and varied ways but the one I really failed to predict is my mom constantly getting mad at me because any vaguely scented product I wear (all of which I have been wearing for years without issue or comment) "rub off on the dog" when I "pet" (read: get jumped on and bitten by) her (the dog) and "bother her (my mother) all day." so now I'm the dick for like. using leave-in conditioner.

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I h8 period cramps whyy did they not only wake me out of a dead sleep and leave me curled into a fetal ball of pain foe an hour, but specifically woke me out of a dream of literally laboring and giving birth. not cool.

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the laundry situation continues to make me feel like I'm losing my mind. I do laundry about 4 hours once every two weeks At Most because that is all I have access to do!!!!!!

stepdad gets the entire weekend to do his laundry becauas He Works Outside The Home (i do to at this point but nobody cares).

I try to do laundry monday and mom has clothes in there all day. tuesday wednesday thursday friday same hat because she's one of those that just leaves shit sitting in the machines for hours at a time. depite the fact that she's the only one who's home all day every day and doesn't have a schedule to work around OR much need of nice clothes!! how on earth does she literally do laundry for five days straight!!!!

I finally discover an empty washer and spend an afternoon rapid- fire washing every piece of clothing I own because it's been three weeks since I last got a chance. proceed to get scolded for the next three weeks, "you need to be more considerate of other people's time, I wasn't able to do any laundry last week because of you" FOUR HOURS!!! FROM LUNCH TO DINNER! ONE DAY!!!! EVERY 2-3 WEEKS!!!! HEWWO?? HEWWO????????????

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I'm less boohoo sad about K ignoring me these days and more just like. irritated. we have years of shared OCs and lore, and I'm novelizing it. like, taking it dead serious, 100k words in, using all the power of my creative writing degree, Doing The Damm Thing we've talked about for years. and she won't engage with me!!! which feels bonkers insane!!! like, having someone willing to talk to you about your OCs is already one thing. but having someone else create the content so you can just sit back and consume it???? literally the dream!!!! fantasizing about that exact thing and realizing nobody was coming to save me was what finally gave me the gumption to start writing it myself!!! like forget the friendship element entirely, forget all that. just in abstract. someone sends you creative work about your OCs. not even slop! work that has been done with care, by someone who is open to your input. and you don't even have the curiosity to engage???? where is your whimsy, bro??? do you know how many tumblerimas would kill to be in a comparable position????

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I do in fact make me feel like I need to start chewing through my on femur trapped animal style how every time my mom looks at my room she's like "🙄 you need to un-hoard this place and throw away most of your junk, all your decor is ugly and it looks insane in here." like. okay let's think about this.

everything I own. everything I have accumulated in 24 years on this crust of earth. is stored in that 150 square foot room. all my furniture, all my clothes, all my bedding/linnens, all my books, all my art and office supplies, every sentimental item and price of decor. it's not going to look like a minimalist dreamscape!! if I threw away everything that didn't fit neatly in a cabinet I would have nothing to my name when I do move out in a bit. "I looked in your closet and that's ridiculous" most of the shit in my closet is baby stuff you won't let me throw away or store anywhere else!!! I wouldn't have a stack of boxes behind my door if I could use that shelf space!!!!! and literally everything else is put away!!!!!

point b. can we not call my stuff ugly!!!!! purely just mean for no reason. most of the stuff I have on my walls, decorating my shelves etc. is not fine art. ok. didn't ask don't care!!! its stuff that I enjoy looking at because I spend 8 hours a day in here for my stupid work!!! most of it is highly sentimental to me!!!

I did not grow up in a house covered on cigarette ash and dog piss so full of her stuff that there was no room to walk in common spaces for her to act like me having some clutter is diabolical!!!

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the other part of this that makes me feel categorically insane is the timeline. lime.

In high school she starts asking how I would feel about selling this house and moving to the country. I say "bad, but it's your house, so do what you want." this answer never changes.

she asks what my plans post college are. I say live at home for about two years and then move out.

two years elapse (!!!!) with us "totally going to sell the house and move any day now"

I indicate that I'm interested in moving out with a friend and get told that's crazy and stupid and irresponsible, I'd never survive on my own, don't know what I'm getting in to, and also it's incredibly rude because "she's building this house for me" and I'm betraying her. so I decide not to move out. people I was making plans with make other plans.

today, 20 minutes after I wake up, she gets mad at me for not helping enough to prepare for the move, "it's like I don't even want to move," she's so mad she has half a mind to tell me to just get out and live on my own, and I need to throw all my shit away because there's no room for it in the new house.

I can feel my eye twitch returning.

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I do in fact make me feel like I need to start chewing through my on femur trapped animal style how every time my mom looks at my room she's like "🙄 you need to un-hoard this place and throw away most of your junk, all your decor is ugly and it looks insane in here." like. okay let's think about this.

everything I own. everything I have accumulated in 24 years on this crust of earth. is stored in that 150 square foot room. all my furniture, all my clothes, all my bedding/linnens, all my books, all my art and office supplies, every sentimental item and price of decor. it's not going to look like a minimalist dreamscape!! if I threw away everything that didn't fit neatly in a cabinet I would have nothing to my name when I do move out in a bit. "I looked in your closet and that's ridiculous" most of the shit in my closet is baby stuff you won't let me throw away or store anywhere else!!! I wouldn't have a stack of boxes behind my door if I could use that shelf space!!!!! and literally everything else is put away!!!!!

point b. can we not call my stuff ugly!!!!! purely just mean for no reason. most of the stuff I have on my walls, decorating my shelves etc. is not fine art. ok. didn't ask don't care!!! its stuff that I enjoy looking at because I spend 8 hours a day in here for my stupid work!!! most of it is highly sentimental to me!!!

I did not grow up in a house covered on cigarette ash and dog piss so full of her stuff that there was no room to walk in common spaces for her to act like me having some clutter is diabolical!!!

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in a big dumb situation at work that is entirely the fault of one of our clients but that is preventing us from doing what we're contracted to do for our other clients. I have been, out of the goodness of my heart, doing something that is not my job and that I was not trained to do, to help one of my main clients. and at first it was fun! I felt like I was making a difference! but a few days in it's becoming clear to me that their reaction is not any kind of gratitude or like. understanding. they're just bitching and moaning that I'm not doing it fast enough. so it's not really fun anymore.

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NOT looking a gift horse in the mouth in fact very #blessed and #thankful clearly someone or something is looking out for me but: it's wild to me that despite barely brushing my teeth for the past year (I know), I have no cavities. girlies who don't believe in soda and exclusively drink fluoridated water stay winning 🦷💪

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mom is doing that thing where she's mad that she's the only one who cooks and does dishes around the house which would be completely justified were she not also the only one who does not have a job. and like. Eye Remember when I was the unemployed one, I was expected to cook and got ~yelled at~ if I didn't do the dishes. to the tune of "you sit on your ass all day in this house i pay for, it's the least you can do." so I'm just a little like... okay cool. what changed between then and now.

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also just that thing where it drives me insane to have someone independently decide to do something and then get mad at me for "making" them do it. she often says thing to the effect of "y'all are too good for leftovers and need a fresh hot meal cooked every night 😒" which... no? left to my own devices I will cook a meal and eat it over and over until it does not exist anymore. but if you cook something for dinner am I supposed to turn it down to eat the previous nights leftovers instead????

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mom is doing that thing where she's mad that she's the only one who cooks and does dishes around the house which would be completely justified were she not also the only one who does not have a job. and like. Eye Remember when I was the unemployed one, I was expected to cook and got ~yelled at~ if I didn't do the dishes. to the tune of "you sit on your ass all day in this house i pay for, it's the least you can do." so I'm just a little like... okay cool. what changed between then and now.

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doing a fucked up social experiment on my parents where I don't volunteer to reconnect the TV to the wifi until they explicitly ask me to. my step dad has been opening and closing nextflix while sighing increasingly more agitatedly for like five minutes.

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been having a really stupid problem recently where I feel like my nose is blocked OR I'm just short of breath for no discernable reason only to discover that my glasses have slid down and are pinching my nose shut. the amount of time it takes me to realize this every time is.. too long.

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I obtained what would end up being my full 5'9" adult size at the age of like. 12. but I still very much had preteen proportions? so I grew up needing to wear women's pants etc., but had no hips to hold them up. contant struggle to keep my butt and midriff covered PLUS the part where I was just tall in general so nothing was ever long enough.

I have to this day an aversion to short tops because of these issues + feeling like stuff that falls at the like... pants waist area? upper hip? cuts me into weird proportions. like I don't want the bottom of my top and the top of my pants to be in the same place. essentially. SO I almost exclusively wear long tops and/or long cardigans. but then I get bored of always having the same silhouette!!

I *just* fucking realized, at the big age of 24, that I can address all my concerns AND unlock new silhouettes with high waist pants. what the fuck.

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the one thing that drives me maybe the most insane is that my mom spent my entire childhood being like "shut up nobody cares" whenever I tried to talk about the books I was reading, but now she's one of those people who sits on the couch and watches tiktoks at full volume while the rest of us are watching TV ans wants to ask fucking listening comprehension questions. like girl. I am actively trying to tune you out we are in a PUBLIC SPACE!!! I neither know nor care what is happening on your phone, which is also POINTED AWAY FROM ME!!! which is not an invitation to turn it towards me and make me watch!!!!!!!!

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mom keeps getting pissed at stepdad and I for not putting in enough effort to keep the house clean, which she reads as us expecting her to do it. well, I don't know what his issue is, but mine-- and I recognize that this sounds kind of ridiculous, and I am being so dead serious- is that we never cleaned growing up and everything was always nasty until here very recently, so it does not occurr to me that things need to be cleaned until they are catsclysmically bad. like, I will never organically be like "oh look, the shower is a few shades off of perfectly clean, time to attend to it before it gets bad!" it is exclusively either "shower looks like it always does" or "oh god the shower." so no I'm not expecting you to clean it!! it has not yet occurred to me that it needs to be cleaned!!! not really sure what to do about that!!!

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pet peeve: when people act like they care a lot about something but refuse to make any effort to actually learn about it; instead opting to act like whatever happens is the will of a malevolent God.

my dad has MS. his insurance stopped covering the med he had taken for 20 years. instead of getting on a new one, he's just rawdogging it because he "feels like he's probably fine" (he turned down an MRI to check for disease progression) and "doesn't know about those other meds (he has done no research and doesn't care to talk go his doctor)

my mom is dooming about the election less than an hour after the first polls closed because Facebook clickbait has her scared. she had to ask me if our state "split electoral votes"