wwhat a crock of shit

Your name is ERIN AMPORA, which is indeed a UNISEX NAME and a ROMANTIZED NAME FOR IRELAND. You are DECIDEDLY MALE and currently attend HUNTINGTON BEACH UNIVERSITY with a major or MARITIME HISTORY.

[consulateascension]

[08:38] -- consulateAscension [CA] began pestering treacherousCarnival [TC] at 20:38 --

[08:39] CA: look wwhat the cat dragged in

[08:41] TC: so wait are you the cat?

[08:41] TC: i don't want to get rabies.

[08:41] CA: no dumbass

[08:41] CA: i got my shots

[08:43] TC: glad at least one person wanted to touch you in your life.

[08:43] CA: i could say the same for you

[08:44] CA: even the doctor almost dropped you when you popped out

[08:44] TC: nah the doctor did drop me, along with my mom a bunch.

[08:44] TC: she was always on heroin and had shaky hands.

[08:44] CA: naturally

[08:45] CA: guess that explains the hair huh

[08:45] CA: i alwways wwondered howw you got it that artfully tangled

[08:45] CA: i kinda guessed you just rubbed it on the floor for a good hour

[08:46] TC: dude that would take like so much motherfucking effort nah that shit is just from the makara lineage.

[08:46] TC: it helps me get all the hot babes, though it got tangled in sauls wires the other day :o/

[08:46] CA: i guess in this case cleanliness isnt close to godliness

[08:46] CA: howw the hell do you manage that

[08:50] TC: i dunno the hair has a mind of its own.

[08:51] CA: someone has to

[08:53] TC: huh?

[08:53] CA: have a mind

[08:53] CA: im curious

[08:54] CA: do you evven care that i treat you like shit

[08:55] TC: :o)

[08:55] CA: im sure on some levvel it affects you

[08:55] CA: but then on so many others you couldnt care less

[08:55] CA: wwhich is comforting

[08:58] TC: do you want it to hurt?

[08:58] TC: would that all up and done making you feel pious?

[08:59] CA: i wouldnt ovverwwhelm you wwith pity if thats wwhat your askin

[08:59] CA: nobody needs that shit

[09:02] TC: nah pity is dumb.

[09:02] TC: most people don't know what they signed done up for anyways.

[09:02] CA: let it hurt then

[09:04] TC: what are we even talking about?

[09:05] CA: if you care about the shit i say

[09:08] TC: i dunno usually its fun for you to motherfucking jab at me.

[09:09] CA: good

[09:09] CA: i wasnt plannin on stoppin anywway

[09:14] TC: whoa, getting a little assertive there heheheheh.

[09:18] CA: you knoww i wwont take no for an answwer

[09:18] CA: i just like to keep pushin

[09:26] TC: yeah talk dirty to me babe.

[09:26] CA: movvin a little quick there

[09:26] CA: i didnt evven havve to wwoww you wwith my flexibility

[09:39] TC: shit you're flexible too bro?

[09:39] TC: perfect for the motherfucking circus.

[09:39] CA: im a fuckin yogi

[09:41] CA: i just spent twwo hours with my legs behind my head readin

[09:50] TC: wow reading.

[09:50] TC: what a nerd

[09:51] CA: i still havve shit to do in class

[10:04] TC: dude we're on summer break

[10:05] TC: unless you fucking flunked out or something that would be a surprising plot twist.

[10:05] CA: i take extra classes

[10:06] CA: wwhat else wwould i do wwith my life

[10:09] TC: go to parties, breed dragons, leech off karl?

[10:09] CA: i dont need to leech off anyone

[10:09] CA: i can wwipe my ass wwith dollar bills

[10:10] TC: holy shit.

[10:10] TC: can you be my platonic sugar daddy?

[10:10] CA: just dont break the door dowwn an ill feed you

[10:16] TC: if i had a soul i would have sold it to you right now tbmotherfuckingh.

[10:17] CA: you didnt knoww this

[10:17] CA: im a literal freeloader

[10:23] TC: well now you have a free friend :o)

[10:23] TC: assuming we weren't already friends

[10:23] CA: yeah sure

[10:24] CA: assuming wwe wwere

[10:24] TC: but everyone is a friend because friendship is magic

[10:24] TC: besides eriq fuck that guy

[10:24] CA: wwhy exactly

[10:33] TC: i dunno

[10:34] CA: it happens

[10:34] CA: i havve a little sore spot there too

[10:34] TC: you do?

[10:34] TC: oh wait feli and you were tight right?

[10:34] CA: yeah

[10:37] TC: yeah that makes sense then.

[10:37] CA: yeah

[10:37] CA: id rather not elaborate

[10:37] TC: understandable.

[10:37] TC: its only fair.

[10:38] CA: anywway

[10:38] CA: i got shit to do

[10:38] CA: come ovver at a reasonable time if you wwant free food

[10:39] -- consulateAscension [CA] ceased pestering treacherousCarnival [TC] at 22:39 --

[consulateascension]

[09:10] -- consulateAscension [CA] began pestering traversingAdversity [TA] at 21:10 --

[09:10] CA: wwhen wwas the last time wwe actually spoke

[09:10] TA: iirl about twenty miinute2 ago.

[09:11] CA: yelling doesnt count

[09:11] TA: then ii've got no clue.

[09:11] TA: what do you want.

[09:11] CA: nothin

[09:12] CA: cant your owwn roommate be chummy sometimes

[09:12] TA: not wiithout wantiing 2omethiing from me.

[09:12] CA: wwhat wwould i want noww

[09:12] CA: not your ass thats for sure

[09:12] TA: thank fuckiing god.

[09:12] CA: the feelin is mutual

[09:13] TA: then what do you want. my money or 2omethiing?

[09:13] TA: diidn't ii ju2t lend you fiive buck2 not two long ago.

[09:13] CA: did you seriously ask that

[09:13] TA: yeah.

[09:13] CA: i could wwipe my ass wwith money right now

[09:14] TA: alriight 2o let'2 ju2t a22ume that you really are ju2t talkiing two me for the 2ake of beiing "chummy".

[09:14] TA: alriight PAL, how ha2 thii2 beautiiful day been treatiing you.

[09:14] CA: oh howw you wwound me

[09:15] CA: it has been delightful naturally

[09:15] CA: it alwways does wwhen i start of the day lookin in the mirror

[09:15] TA: ugh.

[09:15] CA: i can picture your face of disgust right noww

[09:16] TA: ii 2hould record the amount of tiime you 2pend iin front of the miirror.

[09:16] TA: iit'2 probably a hell of a lot longer than ii do on my computer.

[09:16] CA: get me in the record books for sure

[09:16] CA: then maybe ill record howw long you sit at that desk

[09:16] TA: at lea2t ii'm doiing 2omethiing productiive.

[09:16] CA: like wwhat

[09:17] TA: liike 2erviing the publiic. people actually liike what ii do.

[09:17] CA: wwhat

[09:17] TA: do you 2eriiou2ly not know what ii do on a daiily ba2ii2.

[09:17] CA: ivve seen some of the shit you go on

[09:18] CA: or wwould you rather i not bring that up hmm

[09:18] TA: what the hell are you talkiing about.

[09:18] CA: nothin

[09:18] CA: nothin at all

[09:19] TA: ii don't do anythiing 2u2piiciiou2, ii have liiterally no clue what you're blabberiing about.

[09:19] TA: all ii do all day ii2 code and tend to gamiing forum2.

[09:19] CA: im just gonna say you havve shit taste in porn

[09:19] TA: what iin god'2 name are you talkiing about.

[09:20] CA: nothin at all

[09:20] TA: don't confu2e me wiith your2elf.

[09:20] TA: ii have better thiing2 two do.

[09:20] CA: i nevver said i didnt

[09:20] CA: different strokes for different folks

[09:20] TA: you're dii2gu2tiing.

[09:20] CA: i knoww

[09:21] TA: ii don't know how you can ju2t embrace iin2ult2 and take them liike theiir compliiment2.

[09:22] CA: life is so much better when you stop givvin a shit

[09:22] CA: wwhat the hell if i can put my legs behind my head for hours wwho cares if i havve shit taste in porn

[09:23] TA: can you actually do that though.

[09:24] CA: hell yes

[09:24] CA: im actually a yogi you knoww

[09:24] CA: i can do a lot more than that

[09:24] TA: ii really could care le22.

[09:24] CA: ouch

[09:25] CA: and here i wwas ready to invvite you in to see

[09:26] TA: iif ii wa2 really that curiiou2 ii could ju2t look up an iimage on google or 2omethiing.

[09:27] CA: that isnt the same as a real life experience

[09:27] CA: you gotta see things up close an personal

[09:27] TA: gettiing up clo2e and per2onal ii2 the la2t thiing ii want two do wiith you.

[09:28] CA: three strikes

[09:28] CA: looks like im out

[09:28] TA: pretty much.

[09:28] CA: the offer is alwways open though

[09:28] CA: i could teach you howw to be flexible as hell

[09:29] TA: ii'm 2ure you could, but 2eeiing a2 what ii do daiily, ii don't have a u2e for iit.

[09:29] CA: yoga is great for the body

[09:29] CA: not just for gettin in shape an soccer moms

[09:30] TA: maybe 2ome other tiime.

[09:30] CA: i knoww

[09:30] CA: just sayin

[09:30] TA: probably not.

[09:30] TA: 2hrug

[09:31] CA: just tryin to be a good roommate

[09:31] TA: ii appreciiate the effort, 2eeiing a2 you diidn't 2eem two do much of that before.

[09:32] CA: just tryin to make amends

[09:35] TA: you're actiing really 2u2piiciiou2, what'2 gotten iinto you.

[09:35] CA: nothin at all

[09:37] TA: ii'm onto you, ampora.

[09:37] CA: youll nevver discovver my plan

[09:38] TA: ii'll fiind a way. ii alway2 have.

[09:38] CA: then i mist flee to protect my secrets

[09:38] CA: until next time

[09:39] TA: ...riight.

[09:39] CA: see you next time wwe both leavve our rooms

[09:39] TA: heh, yeah.

[09:39] -- consulateAscension [CA] ceased pestering traversingAdversity [TA] at 21:39 --

[consulateascension]

[09:50] -- grandioseAccessory [GA] began pestering consulateAscension [CA] at 21:50 --

[09:51] GA: Salutations And Happy Easter To You Erin

[09:52] CA: the real happiness is wwhen the shops open up tomorroww

[09:52] CA: but happy easter to you too

[09:52] GA: I Take It The Capitalistic Bunny Did Not Take A Stop At Your Dormroom Last Night

[09:53] GA: If You Arent Patient Enough To Wait For Tomorrow

[09:53] GA: My Mother Sent A Package My Way

[09:53] GA: And It Is Beginning To Seem Likely That Rosela And I May Very Well Finish A Weeks Worth Of Candy In A Day

[09:57] CA: my shitty roommate probably scared it off

[09:57] CA: roasted rabbit wwas not on the menu tonight

[09:57] CA: post holiday gorging is alwways the best wway to go out

[09:57] CA: better to die on a stomach full of delicious murder

[09:58] GA: But You Said Rabbit Was Not On The Menu

[09:58] GA: Unless You Are Considering The Festive Candies To Be Animate Objects

[09:58] CA: because it wwas scared off

[09:58] CA: self murder or suicide i guess

[09:58] CA: same difference

[09:59] GA: I Suppose Thats One Way To Look At It

[09:59] GA: Should I Have An Emt On Standby

[09:59] GA: Or Poison Control

[09:59] CA: only if youre lactose intolerant

[09:59] CA: or allergic to cocoa or some shit

[09:59] CA: you poor soul

[10:00] GA: I Meant For You

[10:00] CA: neither

[10:00] CA: or i wwould probably kill myself in a chocolate induced ovverdose

[10:02] CA: tell my chocolate covvered pretzels i lovve them

[10:02] GA: Who Should I Tell If You Eat Them Before I Get The Chance

[10:03] GA: To Tell Them That Is

[10:03] CA: the drug store itself

[10:04] GA: Will Do

[10:04] CA: i trust you wwith this

[10:05] CA: carry on my wwill

[10:05] CA: if i evver die

[10:05] GA: Your Final Words Of Either Regret Or Satisfaction Will Be Passed Along For The Entirety Of The Staff

[10:06] GA: Of Whichever Drugstore You Choose To Purchase Your Goods From

[10:06] CA: the one right dowwn the street

[10:06] CA: you cant miss it

[10:06] GA: That One

[10:06] CA: the cashiers knoww me by name

[10:06] CA: theyll understand

[10:07] GA: I Will Be Sure To Ask Your Father To Extend A Funeral Invitation To Each Of Them

[10:07] CA: good luck wwith that

[10:14] CA: oh wwait

[10:14] CA: i guess i should tell you

[10:14] CA: my father isnt too good in the head

[10:14] GA: Im Sorry To Hear That

[10:15] CA: it isnt anythin neww

[10:15] CA: just dont send mail there evver if you wwant me to get it

[10:15] CA: unless its a restrainin order or somethin

[10:15] GA: Do You Have A PO Box Or Somewhere Else To Send Mail Off Campus

[10:15] GA: Additionally Would There Be Someone Better To Pass The News To Of Your Chocolate Overdose

[10:16] CA: i havve an apartment

[10:17] CA: and do you evven knoww anyone i talk to

[10:17] CA: trust me youre the most responsible

[10:19] GA: Well

[10:20] GA: Theres Always

[10:20] GA: Uh

[10:20] GA: Nevermind

[10:20] CA: exactly

[10:20] GA: And I Dont Know How I Forgot That

[10:21] CA: imagine geza tryin to pass on my final wwords

[10:21] CA: wwould you really wwant that

[10:22] GA: It Would Be Akin To Einstein Passing On His Last Words

[10:22] CA: to a flamin bag of dog shit

[10:23] GA: The Result Would Be About The Same

[10:24] CA: exactly

[10:28] CA: regardless

[10:28] CA: i havve some leftovvers to pack up

[10:29] CA: if i dont come out of my dorm for a wweek the chocolate has killed me

[10:30] GA: I'Ll Make Sure To Knock On Your Door Two Days From Now To Ensure Youre Alive

[10:30] CA: maybe saulll notice the smell

[10:30] CA: evventually

[10:30] GA: Its Possible

[10:31] CA: see you

[10:31] GA: Have A Nice Night

[10:31] GA: And Good Luck Tomorrow

[10:31] CA: good luck fighting your owwn chocolate coma

[10:31] -- consulateAscension [CA] ceased pestering grandioseAccessory [GA] at 22:31 --

[consulateascension]

-- treacherousCarnival [TC] began pestering consulateAscension [CA] at 11:25 --

[11:25] TC: hey

[11:25] CA: couldnt resist my charm huh

[11:26] TC: caught me once more

[11:26] TC: what's a fella to do now i have some moldy vday choclates if you're down

[11:27] CA: ill pass

[11:27] CA: i havve some fresh chocolates if youre wwilling to indulge

[11:28] TC: yeah sure i'm always down to clown around

[11:29] CA: as long as youre showwerin i dont givve a shit

[11:30] CA: maybe evven consider joinin in

[11:31] TC: shit man i'm not gross like eriq

[11:31] TC: i shower like twice a week

[11:33] CA: i am pleasantly surprised

[11:34] CA: anythin else you can shock me wwith

[11:35] TC: no i'm super boring don't got all those hot threesomes like you do

[11:35] CA: hot threesomes havve been cut to a minimum

[11:35] CA: roommate is killin the vvibe

[11:37] TC: aww no saul's pretty cute

[11:37] CA: he isnt into that shit

[11:37] CA: thank god actually

[11:38] TC: maybe he is

[11:38] TC: you know how he likes his twos ;o)

[11:38] CA: oh christ

[11:38] CA: youre killin me

[11:40] CA: i cant evven imagine him doin anythin

[11:41] TC: i dunno he is pretty smooth

[11:42] CA: do you knoww from experience

[11:42] TC: you could say that

[11:42] CA: do i evven wwant to knoww

[11:43] TC: i didn't do anything sexual to him if that's what your asking

[11:44] CA: i dont knoww whether to be disappointed to relievved

[11:44] CA: i feel like evveryone i knoww has had a romp wwith you

[11:44] CA: i dont knoww howw you managed that

[11:46] TC: no i haven't like banged karl

[11:46] CA: thank you for riddin that mental image from my mind

[11:48] TC: aww fantasizin 'bout me?

[11:48] CA: unfortunately

[11:50] TC: you need jesus erin

[11:51] TC: your standards are dropping as well as your dreams

[11:51] CA: let them be crushed

[11:51] CA: as long as i dont end up in your bed

[11:51] CA: in a drunken daze

[11:52] TC: what about a sober daze

[11:52] CA: evven wworse

[11:52] CA: just crucify me if that evver happens

[11:52] CA: please

[11:52] TC: no i can't do that you're not jesus but i'll upload pics to instagram

[11:53] CA: my fall from grace wwill come in the form of social media

[11:53] CA: that is not a comfortin thought

[11:54] TC: i could put a black and white filter on it and it could be art

[11:55] CA: wwe all knoww valentia if the best filter

[11:55] CA: i havve revvealed a dark secret to you of all people

[11:56] TC: i will keep that piece of righteous information in a sacred pocket of my mind

[11:57] CA: noww i must flee

[11:57] CA: i hope you burn for that bit of knowwledge

[11:57] TC: my loins ache

[11:57] CA: you may wwant to get that checked out

[11:57] TC: okay catch you on the flipside

-- treacherousCarnival [TC] ceased pestering consulateAscension [CA] at 11:57 --

[consulateascension]

-- cuddlyCulleague [CC] began pestering consulateAscension [CA] at 21:37 --

[09:37] CC: Hi!!!

[09:37] CA: hey there

[09:37] CC: Back from classes? Or were you out doing your weird fishpster thing again?

[09:38] CC: Clammit!

[09:38] CC: Pesterc)(um is acting up. My quirk is all M-ESS-ED UP.

[09:38] CC: O)( wait, never mind.

[09:38] CC: Ug)()()()(. I )(ate computer stuff. >38/

[09:39] CA: not classes

[09:39] CA: mysterious fishy stuff

[09:39] CC: Talk about mysterious. Nobody knows w)(at you're doing!

[09:39] CA: wwhy not ask my asshole of a roommate for some help

[09:40] CA: exactly

[09:40] CA: i am a man of mystery

[09:42] CC: I s)(ouldn't )(ave to ask Saul w)(ere t)(e glub you disappear to. Is )(e your babysitter??

[09:42] CC: Mister Big Diaper Baby Ampora!

[09:42] CA: i meant for your computer issues

[09:42] CA: an i hope he doesnt knoww wwhere i lurk around

[09:42] CC: You make it sound so glubbing creepy.

[09:42] CA: though it may comfirm something i havve suspected

[09:42] CA: good

[09:43] CC: Confirm w)(at?

[09:43] CA: the more creeped out you are the less youll question

[09:43] CA: nothing

[09:43] CA: disregard

[09:43] CC: I can't disregard. You've piqued my interest!

[09:44] CA: all comments prevvious are noww in the trash

[09:44] CA: hello

[09:44] CC: >38/

[09:44] CC: )(i.

[09:44] CA: wwhy the puss

[09:45] CC: I'm not pu- UG)(. You're so annoying sometimes, you know t)(at?

[09:45] CC: ---ESP-ECIALLY w)(en you're avoiding answering questions.

[09:45] CA: i knoww

[09:46] CA: wwhy do you put up wwith me

[09:46] CC: I GU-----ESS because you're funny sometimes.

[09:46] CA: is that really enough

[09:47] CC: I bet KARL knows w)(at you're up to. )(e ALWAYS knows w)(at everybody is up to. Plus, t)(e two of you are eternal gossip bros!

[09:47] CA: maybe

[09:47] CC: Maybe I s)(ould ask )(IM to prod )(is fork a little.

[09:47] CA: maybe not

[09:47] CA: sounds kinky

[09:47] CC: -----Ew!!!

[09:48] CA: but dont start wworryin

[09:49] CA: i do nothing illegal

[09:49] CA: maybe frowwned upon

[09:49] CA: but all legal

[09:49] CC: So w)(y can't you tell me??

[09:49] CA: because it is a secret

[09:50] CA: anywway havve you stopped fighting wwith eriq

[09:50] CC: O)( yea)(, for glubbing ----EV-ER ago.

[09:51] CC: Still! You keep c)(anging subjects and I WILL find out, -Erin Ampora. Don't underestimate me!

[09:51] CA: try me

[09:52] CC: Are you c)(allenging me? I know a LOT of people.

[09:52] CC: I can find out.

[09:52] CA: good luck

[09:54] CC: UG)()()()(.

[09:54] CA: it is so entertainin to wwatch you get mad

[09:55] CC: T)(at and you're BASICALLY an ass)(ole!!!

[09:55] CC: But it's fine. I can D----EAL wit)( it.

[09:55] CC: Jerk.

[09:58] CC: And now, I guess, you're ignoring me?

[09:58] CC: Is t)(at on porpoise or on accident?

[09:58] CA: oh

[09:58] CA: i fell asleep

[09:58] CA: sorry

[09:59] CC: PS)(. FIN---E. I )(ope you get LOTS OF R----EST AND SL-E-EP!

[09:59] CA: i am the biggest asshole you should knoww that

[09:59] CC: )(e)(e)(e)(e, yes okay. It's an undisputed fact.

[09:59] CA: ill sleep wwell knowwing you wwont be able to come in and strangle me in my sleep

[09:59] CC: I COULD IF I WANT-ED TO.

[09:59] CA: i accept my flawws

[09:59] CC: BUT I WON'T.

[10:00] CA: good

[10:00] CA: i do vvalue breathing

[10:00] CC: >38P

[10:00] CC: Good nig)(t, -Erin!

[10:00] CA: see you tomorroww

-- cuddlyCulleague [CC] ceased pestering consulateAscension [CA] at 22:00 --

[consulateascension]

-- consulateAscension [CA] began pestering cuddlyCulleague [CC] at 19:58 --

[07:58] CA: are you alright

[07:59] CC: Yea)(, I'm alrig)(t! W)(y are you asking? 38O

[07:59] CA: i noticed a bit of tension earlier

[07:59] CC: O)( yea)( t)(at. Ps)(.

[08:00] CC: -Eriq totally got w)(at )(e deserved and )(e knows it.

[08:00] CA: care to elaborate

[08:00] CC: IF )(-E -EXP-ECTS DO DUMP A GLASS OF WAT-ER ON MY FAC-E W)(IL-E I'M SL-E-EPING AND G-ET AWAY WIT)( IT, )(-E'S GOT ANOT)(-ER T)(ING COMING.

[08:01] CC: So yea)(, )(e definitely got a round)(ouse kick to t)(e gut.

[08:01] CA: christ

[08:01] CA: howw did that evven start

[08:02] CC: Well... It was all because of a movie.

[08:02] CA: wwhat movvie

[08:02] CC: Lars and t)(e Real Girl. 38|

[08:02] CC: It got too -EMOC-EANAL and I could barely )(andle it!!

[08:03] CA: did you hit him first

[08:03] CC: )(e)(e, okay at first )(e didn't want to play wit)( me because )(-ELLO )(ow else was I supposed to express )(ow I was feeling???

[08:04] CC: And t)(en )(e didn't want to play AT ALL so it just ended up turning into wrestling. And t)(en a TICKL----EFIG)(T t)(at I ended up winning.

[08:04] CA: of course

[08:05] CC: And )(e's suc)( a sore glubbing loser t)(at t)(e next morning, )(e got t)(e great idea of waking me up wit)( a glass of water to t)(e face. >38/

[08:05] CC: I reely don't know w)(at else )(e was expecting.

[08:05] CA: that wwas kinda harsh

[08:05] CA: did it soak your bed

[08:05] CC: I WAS SURPRIS---ED MOR-E T)(AN ANYT)(ING.

[08:06] CC: And yes. It did.

[08:06] CA: damn

[08:06] CA: do i havve to get a gang to harass him noww

[08:06] CC: )(e)(e)(e)(e, no t)(at's okay. )(e's ignoring me rig)(t now. W)(ic)( is FIN----E w)(o needs )(im.

[08:07] CA: just let him mope i guess

[08:07] CA: as long as youre not bothered

[08:08] CC: Nope! I'm cool.

[08:08] CA: good

[08:09] CC: )(e's suc)( a glubbing baby, I swear to cod. You T)(INK )(e's all STRONG and MIG)(TY. But reely, )(e's just a goofy oaf of a sore loser.

[08:09] CA: thats usually howw it goes

[08:09] CC: )(e broke my lamp too! >38I

[08:10] CA: rude

[08:10] CA: are you sitting in the dark noww

[08:10] CC: I )(ave t)(e fis)( tank lig)(t! And my main lig)(t of course. But no lamps because )(e's a blundering gorilla jerk.

[08:11] CA: make him get you a neww one

[08:11] CC: I'm make )(im build me a N----EW one.

[08:11] CA: evven better

[08:12] CC: )(e)(e)(e)(e!

[08:12] CC: W)(o are t)(e pictures you're uploading of???

[08:12] CA: nobody

[08:12] CC: I don't t)(ink I've ever seen t)(at girl like ----EV-ER.

[08:12] CC: Nobody? -Ew, -Erin you creep.

[08:12] CA: id hope not

[08:13] CA: i havve to admit i hope youre not frequenting the places i vvisit

[08:14] CC: Probably not, I )(ave WAY better t)(ings to do t)(an figure out w)(ere YOU spend your time every glubbing weekend. All t)(ose coddamn scarf and coffee conventions!

[08:14] CC: Suc)( a fis)(pster. 38)

[08:14] CA: good

[08:15] CA: i wwould nevver frequent a coffee convvention

[08:15] CA: i drink it black as an emos soul

[08:15] CC: But you WOULD go to a scarf convention, t)(oug)(.

[08:15] CC: )(ey!!! T)(ere IS a difference between local and imported coffee, you know.

[08:16] CA: still

[08:16] CA: beggars cant be chosers

[08:16] CC: Unfortunately, instant coffee makes my tummy )(urt... I'd muc)( rat)(er drink juice!

[08:17] CA: the lesser of twwo evvils

[08:17] CC: Or milk or somefin else. Coffee s)(ould be used as like, a LAST resort. I )(ave all t)(e energy I need!

[08:17] CA: i knoww you do

[08:18] CC: GLUB GLUB GLUB GLUB. >38)

[08:18] CC: I )(ave lots of energy rig)(t now. I s)(ould TOTALLY go jogging!

[08:18] CA: go for it

[08:18] CC: I wis)( t)(e pools were open rig)(t now... But ug)(, not until May.

[08:18] CC: LAM----E.

[08:18] CA: go sneak into a hotel

[08:18] CC: T)(at's illegal, -Erin.

[08:19] CA: so

[08:19] CC: It's illegal...?

[08:19] CA: youll be fine

[08:19] CC: If I get in trouble, I'll just leap t)(e fences! Wouldn't be t)(e first time.

[08:20] CA: good luck

[08:20] CC: Okay! )(e)(e)(e, )(ave a R-E-ELAXING rest of t)(e evening, -Erin. 38)

[08:21] CC: BY-----------E!!!

-- cuddlyCulleague [CC] ceased pestering consulateAscension [CA] at 20:21 --

[consulateascension]

sorry for keepin you up saul

[cuddlyculleague]

C)(OCOLAT—-E MILK RUN FEATURING —ERIN! 38)

[consulateascension]

-- consulateAscension [CA] began pestering cuddlyCulleague [CC] at 20:42 --

[08:42] CA: hey there fel

[08:43] CA: did you by chance get harrassed by someone lately

[08:43] CC: )(iya! I was LIT---ERALLY about to pester you.

[08:43] CC: )(arrassed??

[08:43] CC: Water you mean?

[08:43] CA: someone asking you strange questions

[08:44] CA: a stranger has been makin their rounds

[08:44] CC: No one )(as been asking me strange questions lately. Up until rig)(t now anyway.

[08:44] CC: Oo)(, a stranger!

[08:44] CC: )(e)(e)(e, no I mean, if t)(ey )(ave... I )(aven't gotten t)(e c)(ance to c)(eck!

[08:44] CA: i hope you dont consider me a stranger

[08:45] CA: just givvin you a heads up

[08:45] CC: NO, but you are pretty strange like in a weird way. 38P

[08:45] CA: im hurt

[08:46] CC: Yea)( well, you're always butt )(urt about somefin or anot)(er.

[08:46] CC: T)(is isn't news to ANYBODY.

[08:46] CA: ouch

[08:47] CA: youre killin me fel

[08:47] CA: wwhat did i do to deservve this

[08:48] CC: Your crime is being a )(uge glubbing dork, du)(.

[08:48] CA: i plead not guilty

[08:49] CC: We'll )(ave t)(e judge decide webber or not you're guilty, son. Maybe I'll pester Teri and get )(er TOTALLY unbiased verdict rig)(t now. 3B)

[08:50] CC: But I won't since s)(e's not online.

[08:50] CA: i thought the jury came to a conclusion

[08:50] CA: and good

[08:50] CC: W)(o cares!!!

[08:50] CC: You're still going to be a dorky s)(rimp no matter w)(at.

[08:50] CA: i need to havve a just trial wwith an unbiased jury

[08:51] CA: its my right

[08:51] CC: Sea? You're doing it rig)(t now.

[08:53] CA: no im not

[08:53] CA: im simply stating the amendments

[08:53] CC: Bla)( bla)(, says t)(e )(uge carping nerd.

[08:53] CA: teri as my judge would be cruel an unusual punishment

[08:55] CC: Yea)( but clearly, s)(e's t)(e only one qualified enoug)( for t)(e job. You COULD say s)(e's got an -EY-E for t)(is kind of t)(ing!

[08:57] CA: that wwas horrible

[08:57] CC: S)(e would )(ave laug)(ed. >38I

[08:57] CA: your jokes need more wwork

[08:58] CC: My jokes are fine!!! You're t)(e one w)(o lives )(is life wit)( a rusted pike stuck up )(is butt all t)(e time.

[08:58] CA: wwell thank god i got my tetanus shot then

[08:59] CC: Still doesn't make you immune to t)(e ass)(ole germ.

[09:00] CA: im afraid im a carrier

[09:00] CA: does that scare you

[09:00] CC: You've long since been lost to me, my dear frond.

[09:01] CA: im afraid to say its terminal

[09:02] CC: Sob. 38'(

[09:03] CA: i dont think i havve much longer

[09:03] CC: Do you )(ave any last requests, -Erin?

[09:04] CA: take me on a date

[09:06] CC: PFFFFT.

[09:06] CC: W)(at about any OT)(----ER last requests??

[09:07] CA: a nice dinner

[09:08] CC: Cooking isn't even my glubbing T)(ING. YOU KNOW T)(AT. >38I

[09:10] CA: i meant you bringing me food

[09:10] CA: because i knoww youd probably poison me

[09:10] CC: Wow, w)(y would I poison you???

[09:10] CC: Well, to put you out of your misery PROBABLY.

[09:11] CA: not intentionally

[09:11] CA: or maybe at this point

[09:12] CC: I could sea me doing t)(at, yep.

[09:12] CA: wwhat a great friend you are

[09:13] CC: I know rig)(t??? I LOV----E )(ow completely )(onest we can be wit)( one anot)(er.

[09:13] CA: youre killin me

[09:13] CA: again

[09:13] CC: )(e)(e)(e)(e)(e!!!

[09:13] CC: ----ERIN.

[09:14] CA: wwhat

[09:15] CC: I )(ave to tell you about somet)(ing -----EXCITING t)(at's )(appened!

[09:15] CC: I )(ave SO MANY -EMOTOC-EANS t)(at I'm not entirely sure w)(at to do wit)( t)(em!

[09:15] CA: do tell

[09:18] CC: Well... it's just t)(at I )(aven't )(ad muc)( of a c)(ance to tell anybody because we're kind of keeping it low-key rig)(t now.

[09:18] CC: But if I don't tell anybody, I feel like I'm going to ----EXPLOD-E so... I'll tell you.

[09:18] CA: alright

[09:18] CA: go for it

[09:19] CC: Glub glub glub, okay!

[09:20] CC: -Eriq and I are actually DATING now.

[09:20] CA: oh wwhoa

[09:20] CA: congrats

[09:21] CC: )(e)(e)(e, t)(ank you.

[09:21] CC: But like!!!

[09:22] CC: T)(e reason we )(aven't told muc)( of anybody else is because we're bot)( reely worried about w)(at people are going to t)(ink... -Especially after t)(e w)(ole glubbing fiasco wit)( Adia.

[09:22] CA: i understand

[09:22] CA: your relationship isnt anyones business but your owwn

[09:23] CA: you havve no obligation to tell anyone

[09:23] CC: Yea)( but Adia... isn't around and s)(e's also... my roommate...

[09:23] CC: T)(ere's JUST

[09:23] CC: A lot of stuff to t)(ink about. 38(

[09:24] CA: good luck

[09:24] CA: im happy for you

[09:25] CC: T)(ank you, -Erin. It means a lot to )(ear t)(at!

[09:25] CA: im your friend

[09:25] CA: of course im happy

[09:25] CC: You're t)(e B---EST glubbing friend a girl could )(ope for.

[09:25] CA: id hope so

[09:26] CA: but i think its time for me to go

[09:26] CA: see you fel

[09:26] CA: an good luck

[09:26] CC: Um, okay!

[09:26] CC: Glub at you later!!!

[09:27] CA: of course

[consulateascension]

Erin, if you could summon undead troll warriors by yelling any ancient battle cry and command those (literal) rotten trolls through train of thought, what would you do with them? And what would your reaction be to seeing them suddenly appear before you?

howw dare you speak to me

[consulateascension]

♔

there isnt really much i wwouldnt say to your face but wwhatever

i didnt knoww you growin up so i dont really knoww or care why some of the others hate you

but you do do some fucked up shit an need to be called out on it more

like literal chaining to a radiator ninety percent of the time

and to clear up i havve actually gotten laid and its much easier to retain the quote unquote sex god persona than be a wwhiny piece of shit

an i can only imagine vverbally abusing you

no steamy midnight romances including both of us in the same room

[consulateascension]

He should have expected being practically jumped upon entering her dorm room. After all, it was not his first time being assaulted in such a loving way. What he did not expect, however, was feeling his his feet going from soft carpeting to free floating from the force of her hug. Squirming, he struggled to get down.

"jeez fel i was kiddin," he managed to gasp out, moving his head to prevent headbutting Feli, "maybe wwe can continue this when i dont havve a fragile jug of milk and snacks in my hands." After a moment he was finally able to wrestle himself free, depositing the loot on a nearby table. After a beat he spun on the balls of his feet and grinned devilishly "noww its your turn," even as Erin spoke he advanced, catching Feli in his own hug, using his height as an advantage and lifting up even higher than she had, "do you surrender noww or do i havve to keep goin," he said, beginning to shake her every so slightly. Who said he couldnt messwith her on his own? A little playful revenge was never a bad thing.

[cuddlyculleague]

Feli could hardly contain her peals of laughter as she was lifted from the ground. “Eeek!! Okay, okay! I give!”

She thrashed out her feet until finally, Erin set her down. When did her friends get so tall? It was ridiculous and hardly even fair! She glowered up at him, puffing her breath out at him, blowing a stray curly strand of hair out of her face in the process. Yeah, yeah, just look at that smug look on his face. Erin sure was pleased with himself, wasn’t he? Nevermind that she was tickled pink just being in the same room as him. This was about showing who was boss!

"Just because you’re taller, doesn’t mean you have the upper hand in the situation," she informed him, wrinkling her nose in mock distaste. "I can still kick your shrimpy butt if I wanted to! But I won’t because… Oh my cod, you brought snacks!"

Immediately distracted by the prospect of sweets, Feli descended on the bag of groceries. Ugh, it was like he knew the key to her heart or something. That bastard! She scooped up the chilled jug of chocolate milk in one arm but up-ended the rest of the loot all over the table. “Jackpot!” she said, triumphantly tossing the bag somewhere on the ground.

[consulateascension]

"shrimpy? im offended," Erin replied, mock flexing for Feli, "just look at this definition." True, he may look a little scrawny, but his body was a temple, and constant training kept him fit and lean. Not that he's mention the extent he went to keep himself up to his high standards. Slowly he righted himself, staring daggers at the carelessly tossed bag. Feli was a good friend, but her excited untidiness drove him insane sometimes.

Not wanting to offend her, he quickly swiped up the bag as she was engrossed in the haul. He had known enough to get a variety of snacks with varying degrees of sugar content; he could only stand small quantities of sugary treats, but felt obligated to participate somewhat. After all, he was leaving a sugar-hyped Feli with her poor roommate after the session. After grabbing a bag of chips, he plopped down on the nearest seat, her bed.

"im amazed you can evven see your floor right noww," he commented, popping open the bag, the plastic barely audible over her shifting, "though you missed a shirtsleevve ovver there," he kidded. He knew Feli was trying to be neat, but he could never resist poking fun at her.

[consulateascension]

-- consulateAscension [CA] began pestering cuddlyCulleague [CC] at 11:02 --

[11:02] CA: happy birthday fel

[11:02] CC: T----ERI B--EAT YOU TO IT, SUCK---ERFIS)(.

[11:03] CC: You're a terribubble friend, -Erin. Wow.

[11:04] CA: i knoww i knoww

[11:04] CA: but better late than nevver

[11:05] CA: howw about i make it up to you

[11:05] CC: Like )(ow? 38?

[11:06] CA: i wwas goin to suggest a dinner

[11:06] CA: but im sure youd prefer a swweets shopping spree

[11:06] CC: W)(ale I would except -EV-ERYBODY wants to take me to dinner. So maybe we'll just all )(ave to go at once!

[11:07] CA: howw about wwe just get you a truckload of whatever swweets you wwant

[11:07] CC: O)( my cod, you're trying to krill me )(ere.

[11:07] CC: W)(at about an I.O.U.?

[11:08] CC: Do you take one of t)(ose?

[11:08] CA: wwhenevver you wwant it

[11:08] CA: im wwillin to delivver

[11:09] CA: evven in the middle of the night

[11:09] CC: )(e)(e)(e)(e)(e, o)( wow. T)(at's some dedication t)(ere! You s)(ore know )(ow to make a girl feel SP---ES)(OAL.

[11:09] CA: id hope so

[11:09] CA: ivve only knowwn you all my life

[11:09] CA: but noww i must take my leavve

[11:10] CA: i hope you havve a great birthday

[11:10] CC: Okay!

[11:10] CC: )(ope to sea you later, ----Erin! <3 <3

[11:10] CC: BY-----------E!

[11:10] CA: wash dowwn your cake wwith evven more chocolate milk

[consulateascension]

♔

you havve a mean right hook

wwho evven taught you to punch like that

[consulateascension]

♔

i also dont actually hate you

congrats on also not making my shitlist

though im never wwatchin another movvie wwith you evver again

[consulateascension]

♔

i guess i dont really dislike you that much

granted ivve nevver really spoken to you but fel thinks highly of you

congratulations on not making my shitlist

[consulateascension]

♔

you look vvaguely like a vvery fishy feline

no offense