The Science of Deduction

by Sherlock Holmes

[consult-sherlockholmes]

I'm Sherlock Holmes, the world's only consulting detective.

I'm not going to go into detail about how I do what I do because chances are you wouldn't understand. If you've got a problem that you want me to solve, then contact me. Interesting cases only please.

This is what I do:

1. I observe everything.

2. From what I observe, I deduce everything.

3. When I've eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how mad it might seem, must be the truth.

If you need assistance, contact me and we'll discuss its potential.

[consult-sherlockholmes]

Am I too high or does the heart get enveloped in a prismatic gradient when I like posts?

[sherlockboylove]

happy pride to these two bitches ONLY‼️

[consult-sherlockholmes]

Thank you? Although I do not like being called a female canine. And John doesn't like that either. In fact, he detests it, and once threw a criminal through a window after he called me that.

[consult-sherlockholmes]

Come out come out wherever you are 😊😊🫣

Alright. Fine.

I'm gay.

[veryfastnighuncatchable]

"I asked chatgpt" ok well I asked Sherlock Holmes and I got a monologue that contained two tangents, four accidental insults, the answer to my question, and three homoerotic comments about his flatmate

[consult-sherlockholmes]

You're welcome.

And those insults were not accidental.

[consult-sherlockholmes]

Happy Easter

I wish you a joyful Easter, Spring Equinox, Ostara or however you call it.

May this season of renewal and new life flourish new positive changes and purge any old negativity like a snake shedding its skin, or new flowers blooming from barren earth.

[consult-sherlockholmes]

Happy autism day, you autistic king!

Thank you, I guess?

[consult-sherlockholmes]

Item: The Couch Rarity: ⏶ Common

Couch co-op or online?

Feed your dashboard by answering my question, blogger.

What does that even mean?

The couch, I guess?

[consult-sherlockholmes]

It under you pillow Mr.Holmes.

~D🧛🏻🦦

Is this code? Or some intoxicated rambling?

[consult-sherlockholmes]

His gluttony sickens me @mysterious-cat-official

[consult-sherlockholmes]

Dont' you judge me! Should I now feed you, sleep or go outside? You are sending some mixed messages here, @mysterious-cat-official.

[consult-sherlockholmes]

I think with this score I can finally stop playing this cursed game.

[consult-sherlockholmes]

I have been told there is a snake on the loose. However, I am unable to locate it. Can anyone assist me in locating the snake?

[imjustagoldfish]

One of the labs at my uni has the sign that literally says "The Holmes brothers prohibited"

[consult-sherlockholmes]

Just because I blew the laboratory up. Twice. Talk about an overreaction.

[consult-sherlockholmes]

💛

Le coeur jaune.

Or the jaundiced heart? Adipositas cordis? Lipofuscin? Artherosclerosis? Myopathic fatty degeneration? Myosteatosis?

What are you trying to tell me? Those things are usually associated with high cholesterol. You should send that to my brother, not me.

[consult-sherlockholmes]

Are we okay Mr.Holmes?

~D🧛🏻🦦

Who is we?

We as the human race? Doubtful. No. Very very doubtful.

Or is this related to us as individuals? In that case, I can only speak for myself whether I am "okay" or not. No. And in that case, I will not comment.

Or is this we referring to you and me? I have no complaints.

Why are you asking? Has there been an incident that led you to believe there is something amiss?

[consult-sherlockholmes]

Fear me, Gayus Julius Caesar. For I have a knife.

Bringing a knife to a gun fight.

Bringing a knife to a senate discussion.

[eliotisnthere]

You’re alive?

[consult-sherlockholmes]

For now.

As you can see I am being threatened by the Ides of March being connected to my name. So who knows what might happen in the next 18 hours and 51 minutes?

Any more questions with obvious answers?