Contains Spoilers Throughout.

This exists to record my thoughts on movies, and occasionally other stuff. Too often my thoughts on something go unthunk for a while and eventually forgotten. I figure if I invested time in something in the first place, it's worth a few more minutes to make sure I remember it. var gaJsHost = (("https:" == document.location.protocol) ? "https://ssl." : "http://www."); document.write(unescape("%3Cscript src='" + gaJsHost + "google-analytics.com/ga.js' type='text/javascript'%3E%3C/script%3E")); try { var pageTracker = _gat._getTracker("UA-5829202-3"); pageTracker._trackPageview(); } catch(err) {}

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Jurassic World (2015)

This one is out of order, it looks like I forgot to write it up when I saw it in June.  Anyway, I like it.  I didn’t love it, but I really liked it.  Chris Pratt was awesome as is expected from him.  The idea of the park being open is of course great but we only see the real repercussions of that during the flying attack and then everyone in the warehouse at the end.  The rest of it was very much recycling the plot of Jurassic Park.  But hey, why mess with what works, right?  The final battle was a lot of fun, even if there was a bit of deus ex dinowhale.  I’ll definitely be checking out Jurassic War in 2017.

Watched on 6/26 at Regal Majestic 20

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Spy (2015)

This was so good. I think I loved everything about it, especially Jason Statham.  “I know you have a fockin face off machine!”

The story was unexpectedly good, the trailer made it seem like she was just some office person forced to do spy shit that was way over her head but she was actually the most competent spy in the whole movie.  Lots of girl power in this movie, as is expected from Paul Feig now.

I’m sure I’ll revisit this lots when it hits HBO, TBS, etc.  But those won’t include close ups of dick pics which was spit out my drink funny.

Watched on 10/17 via Verizon FiOS OnDemand

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Curse of Chucky (2013)

For the sixth installment in a nearly 30 year old franchise, this was not that bad.  They dropped the campiness of the previous two and played this as pretty much straight horror, or at least as straight horror as you can make a movie that features a doll as a killer.  Seriously, just kick him away, put him under a laundry basket with some weights on top. 

They did make the main girl paralyzed which put her more on Chucky’s level, so that helped with the logic.  And then at the end they tied in her condition with events before event he first movie.  I guess they really just wanted to bring everything full circle since there is a good chance this will be the last Chucky film (and if you take the final post-credits scene as canon, it kind of has to be, unless Andy is a true idiot and does burn/destroy the body and send the remains into space. [side ntoe: awesome sequel idea!] ). 

Anyway, I enjoyed it.  They even brought back Jennifer Tilly to tie it back into Bride/Seed and make some sense of the continuing plot.  It makes just enough sense that I’m ok with it.  And I was happy to see scarface Chucky return half way through.  Shit man, I realized while writing this that I actually really l enjoyed this and I hope they make more.  Chucky is my jam. 

Watched on 10/11 via Netflix

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Chef (2014)

For a while I avoided watching this.  It has been on my Netflix queue for months, I heard nothing but good things, but I just never felt like I was in the mood to watch it.  Well, I was stupid, because this is the kind of movie you can watch any time.  It’s very well done, surprisingly so.  From what little I knew of it I thought the whole movie was on a food truck.  It’s closer to half.  What I figured would be a pre-opening credits fall from grace was actually a solid 45 minutes or so, and it made the whole food truck journey that much better.

I can’t recall one thing about this movie that I didn’t like.  Great acting, clever writing, good soundtrack.  Even the kid wasn’t annoying, and that’s tough to do.  It did take a while to nail down what city they were in, they talked about Miami, LA, etc. and it was unclear where they were until at some point it was explicitly stated.  Or maybe I just missed something early on.

Anyway, this movie made me hungry.  Really great kitchen/cooking scenes.  I think I loved it.

Watched on 10/10 via Netflix

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Hotel Transylvania 2 (2015)

I didn’t hate it, I didn’t particularly like it.  I like that Ronnie liked it.  I’m sure I’ll see it more once it hits home video.  Lots of product placement for an animated movie. I’m very indifferent on it and have nothing more to say.

Watched at Regal Majestic Stadium 20 on 10/4

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Rampage: Capital Punishment (2014)

Pure morbid curiosity got me to sit through this one.  I was expecting a start to finish rampage through the streets of DC, instead we got 10 minutes of that and then 90 minutes of a hostage situation.  It was alright, the first one was better though.  Not that either one was very good.  He gets away in the end so I’m sure part 3 will be popping up in a couple years.

Watched on 9/10 via Netflix

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It Follows (2015)

This was overhyped for me, I liked it but I wasn’t blown away.  Everyone raved about how 80s it was, and they were right, but that doesn’t mean it’s good.  Well it was good, but I don’t think it deserved the hype it got. The concept is decent, but I don’t think worth a whole movie.  I think I’d still recommend this to fans of the genre, but definitely not hype it up.

Watched on 8/8 via Amazon Instant Video

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The Guest (2014)

The weekend of July 25 was just creepy dark weirdo movie time, this and Nightcrawler within a day.  I really enjoyed The Guest, it had a great 80s feel to it but didn’t get lost in it.  I dug the backstory of the titular guest.  Lots of suspense and it was well acted, thumbs up.

Watched on 7/25 via Netflix

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Nightcrawler (2014)

Super creepy, very dark, and a great job was done by all involved.  It’s a shame this didn’t get more love during awards season, it definitely deserved it. Watched on 7/24 via Netflix

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Trainwreck (2015)

I’d never watched Amy Schumer’s show but I got a very annoying vibe from her.  Fortunately I was way off, I gave this flick a chance and really enjoyed it.  But it was 3 months ago (I fell a wee bit behind on writing these) so I’m not going into more detail. Oh one mroe thing, Lebron killed it, I hope to see him pop up in more movies. Watched on 7/19 at AMC Empire 25

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Ant-Man (2015)

This falls into the 2nd tier of Marvel movies.  It’s not quite the greatness that was Iron Man, Winter Solider, Guradians or Avengers, but it’s damn close.  Ant-Man was pretty awesome.  The logic of him being shrunk is like 90% of the way there.  I’m totally behind the whole moving atoms closer together, you’re smaller and denser so you’re super strong. Buuuuuut then how does he ride an ant?  If he’s supposed to just be his same mass but smaller he’s stilla  200 lb guy.  But other than that I’m cool with it.

The opening scene in the 80s was a great start, and I hope to see more of this time period in the MCU.  Maybe Ant-Man 2 can have kind of a Godfather 2 structure, a Scott Lang adventure alongside a Hank Pym adventure when he was in his prime.  The CGI has proven they can make Michael Douglas young again.

I loved the end battle on the train set and the payoff of the tank keychain.  And the quick Spider-man reference.  And Michael Pen’s character in general.  And that Baskin Robbns always finds out.

Watched on 7/17 at AMC Center Park 8

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Focus (2015)

I love a good con/heist movie, and surprisingly this did not disappoint.  It wasn’t particularly shocking or surprising but it was tons of fun from start to finish, and that’s the most important thing.  The con with the guy at the football game was a real stretch, and they were going out of their way to deliberately mislead the audience which is pretty cheap (the camera going out of focus and stuff, implying that he wasn’t just acting) but who cares, it was a fun flick. 

Watched on 7/10 via Amazon Instant Video

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Winter’s Tale (2014)

Really terribly bad. It was perfect for HDTGM, I really genuinely want to know hwo this was made.  It made no sense, the acting sucked, the writing sucked, ugh, what a waste of time.  I guess it made for a good episode but overall thumbs down man.

Watched on 7/5 via HBO

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Insidious Chapter 2 (2013)

It’s Insidious 2, I don’t have much to say about it.  I liked the first one but thought it kind of went off the rails at the end, and pretty much have exactly the same feelings here, except everything is less fresh and exciting.  The best thing this series has going for it is that the ghosts come out in the day which is fucking scary.

Watched on 7/3 via Netflix

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Jupiter Ascending (2015)

This was a hot mess of a movie.  They crammed a trilogy’s worth of story into one movie and as a result very little made sense.  I mean, the script was terrible and the acting was…not great, for the most part, so that didn’t help.  The general idea is cool enough but they did not pull of the execution.  Oh well, I had zero expectations going in so it’s not like I was disappointed.  We got to see Channing Tatum as a dog man (well, we’re told he’s a dog man, because really he was just a dude with flying rollerblades and very few dog features), and Sean Bean didn’t die which I gotta say was probably the most shocking thing in the whole movie.

Watched on 6/27 via Amazon instant Video

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That Awkward Moment (2014)

That awkward moment when I’m supposed to write a review of a movie I watched 3 days ago but can barely remember a damn thing about it…

Rock out with my cock out.  The horizontal pissing. Imogen Poots.  That’s all I got. It was not a good movie.

Watched on 6/20 via HBO Go

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Dumb and Dumber To (2014)

I really, really, really wanted to like this.  But I didn’t   In the first one they were lovable idiots.  In this one Lloyd is just plain mean and unlikable, and Jeff Daniels is just coasting.  The best bits were all in the trailer, along with plenty of shitty bits (which was a bit of a red flag).  It managed to have some nostalgia for the first one but mostly it just crapped on it.  I did enjoy how they brought back the dog van but then it was gone in like 30 seconds.  

Watched on 6/19 via Amazon Instant Video