thoughts and feelings

i am putting these here for now

[echoesofsaturn]

as my final act of love, I will swallow every "please stay" and turn it into silence so you don't feel trapped by my ache

[conversationswithmyself]

haiku 48

why do you touch me

like you will never let go,

but you wont look at me?

[conversationswithmyself]

haiku 48

i want to rip my

chest open and leave my heart

at their garden gate

[conversationswithmyself]

haiku 47

whilst traces of me

remain in your home, you still

have to think of me.

[mournfulroses]

Salma Deera, from a poem titled "the curse of medea," featured in Letters from Medea: Poems

[segamascott]

[conversationswithmyself]

(triple) haiku 46

lashing out, waiting

for retribution, it comes.

i crawl back like a-

bleeding out, waiting

for resolution, stagnate.

i crawl back like a-

reaching out, waiting

for reconciliation.

...i crawl back like a-

[conversationswithmyself]

haiku 45

i have a new bed,

where you have never held me.

i miss you the same.

[conversationswithmyself]

haiku 44

and so round 2 begins...

can i leave the ring intact

this time? i doubt it.

[electricpurrs]

"I can’t wait to love you again tomorrow" by Gatito Sentimental

[eidetictelekinetic]

Mutual pining is great, but you know what's even better? Mutual pining where they're both fully aware the feelings are requited, they just can't do anything about it for other reasons. Or maybe they technically could but they've had to choose not to, because of The Circumstances.

[conversationswithmyself]

haiku 43

what is happening?

where is the love that you all

swear yourselves upon?

[konoko]

[conversationswithmyself]

all hollow

last year was bad

but i had the sting of your fist on my face

and the gentle caress as you held me afterwards

this year is worse

now all i have is the sting of cheap champagne in my throat

and the only caress i have is your voice distant on the phone

saying you can't do anything to help

[conversationswithmyself]

haiku 42

you nearly killed me

now i have to live with that

how fucking could you

[conversationswithmyself]

haiku 41

how is this better?

how is anything better?

why can't you hear me?

[conversationswithmyself]

16/10 ≠ 1.5

today i couldn't shower but i washed my face

i sat in the living room instead of my bed

i haven't eaten but i am seeing my friend

i told you i missed you but i'm not begging for your attention anymore

i am not getting better

i do not know if i will ever get better

i do not think i will ever get better

but today is the 16th of october and i am not crying

i am thinking about you and if you know it is the 16th of october

probably not

and that hurts

and that hurts but

i washed my face

i am sitting in the living room

i am seeing my friend

and i miss you