Simon

this is bigger than me.

[convict-simon]

hello… tumblr, my name is Simon, but i have also been called Convict. you all may call me whatever you like, really, whether it be my real name or a nickname you came up with yourself, i dont mind..

the important thing is, i have stumbled my way onto this website, and i have found many more people than i even thought were alive still. i have no way to contact anyone else, though, so im really just here to cure my boredom

[hello!! this is the mod, here to give my thanks to Markiplier, David Szymanski, and many others for such an amazing movie and well built character!

for context, in this au Simon is still trapped in the iron lung down in that cave, and hes lost all power.

update: simon has fixed his power problem, and is now in the process of being rescued, stay tuned 🙏

update 2: simon has been rescued from the blood ocean, having made three friends, and now we gotta see what happens next 🤷‍♂️

i made this askblog entirely for fun, and i dont expect much out of it. that being said, i may be a too busy with school or such to answer every question.

i am neurodivergent and get very into characters, and often project onto them, so he may not be totally in-character.

i dont care much how people want to rp or interact with my Simon, as long as theres no nsfw, because i am a minor.

otherwise, have fun!]

[convict-simon]

Hello good sir! Its us- me! Normal human again!

@12bloodeelsinatrenchcoat

oh. you again. yeah, no thanks

[12bloodeelsinatrenchcoat]

Why not? We likes you!

[convict-simon]

well i dont likes you. youre.. creepy.

[12bloodeelsinatrenchcoat]

And youre squiiisshhhyyyy!

[convict-simon]

….uh huh. thanks, i guess?

[12bloodeelsinatrenchcoat]

Do you want to come with us to nowhere suspicious at all?

[convict-simon]

not really, why?

[12bloodeelsinatrenchcoat]

Because we would like to take you somewhere nowhere suspicious!

[convict-simon]

and why should i trust you?

[12bloodeelsinatrenchcoat]

Becausw we are normal human! And you are squishy!

[convict-simon]

i know damn well you arent

[12bloodeelsinatrenchcoat]

But weeee- iiii arrrreeeee such normal human!!

[convict-simon]

yeah, sure. i definitely believe that.

[convict-simon]

[ Answer deemed satisfactory, the velvet pouch it had delivered to him swells and stretches to the size of a potato sack, while the barely there weight it had suddenly increases quick enough to disrupt his balance. Nearly overflowing from the pouch is a heaping of fruits, seemingly plucked right off the branches that held them. They... Actually had twigs still attached to them, leaves twill green. Apples, peaches, pears, and plums. The apples and pears, heavy and more solid, are at the bottom. No water, but the fruits themselves seem laden with it.

No book, unfortunately. Except- the computer's speaker crackles, a new file uploaded to the database. An excerpt converted from a book called Frontiers of Modern Astronomy. The subject? Pulsars as Tools. ]

*he almost falls over as hes suddenly thrown off balance, but catches himself and looks into bag in awe*

holy shit- that actually worked. thanks a lot!

[convict-simon]

Yeah! Pride is a celebration of everyone experiencing a different sexual, romantic or gender identity then the norm of our current society! Which for us is straight and cis.

Really hope neo-pronouns and singular they are normalized in your time.

ohh, that makes sense. it feels shitty that we dont do that anymore, but i guess humanity doesnt have time to celebrate themselves when everything else is dead or dying…

i havent heard much about them, but i think anything is pretty normalized now. there was never much of a fuss around gay and transgender people when i wad growing up. they were just people who experienced things differently than most

[convict-simon]

"You are very kind mister simon... im glad i get to meet you!" She smiled. "But he..is my daddy.. i have to stay around him because ...if im gone now..hell hurt mommy more..wont he?"

✨️

im glad i got to meet you too …i dont know what hell do. im sorry

[convict-simon]

Hello good sir! Its us- me! Normal human again!

@12bloodeelsinatrenchcoat

oh. you again. yeah, no thanks

[12bloodeelsinatrenchcoat]

Why not? We likes you!

[convict-simon]

well i dont likes you. youre.. creepy.

[12bloodeelsinatrenchcoat]

And youre squiiisshhhyyyy!

[convict-simon]

….uh huh. thanks, i guess?

[12bloodeelsinatrenchcoat]

Do you want to come with us to nowhere suspicious at all?

[convict-simon]

not really, why?

[12bloodeelsinatrenchcoat]

Because we would like to take you somewhere nowhere suspicious!

[convict-simon]

and why should i trust you?

[12bloodeelsinatrenchcoat]

Becausw we are normal human! And you are squishy!

[convict-simon]

i know damn well you arent

[convict-simon]

[🐀uh hi idk tumblr is fucking with me again and ig it didn't send my ask??? Sorry that it's a screenshot I just can't type all that again :'>]

yeah, youve got it right

im sorry you had to deal with all that shit, no wonder humans moved to mars. we dont have to talk about it if you dont want to, its reasonable

[i hate when tumblr does that 😭😭]

[convict-simon]

Happy pride month! 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

i know im going to sound dumb as shit asking this.. but whats that? its an earth tradition, right?

[convict-simon]

No need to thank me. How is the traitor spouse doing?

@elli-the-eel

theyre doing good

[convict-simon]

Hello good sir! Its us- me! Normal human again!

@12bloodeelsinatrenchcoat

oh. you again. yeah, no thanks

[12bloodeelsinatrenchcoat]

Why not? We likes you!

[convict-simon]

well i dont likes you. youre.. creepy.

[12bloodeelsinatrenchcoat]

And youre squiiisshhhyyyy!

[convict-simon]

….uh huh. thanks, i guess?

[12bloodeelsinatrenchcoat]

Do you want to come with us to nowhere suspicious at all?

[convict-simon]

not really, why?

[12bloodeelsinatrenchcoat]

Because we would like to take you somewhere nowhere suspicious!

[convict-simon]

and why should i trust you?

[convict-simon]

Does there have to be a reason. Just checking in on and old... Friend

@elli-the-eel

i guess not …thanks for checking in, i suppose

[convict-simon]

Hello good sir! Its us- me! Normal human again!

@12bloodeelsinatrenchcoat

oh. you again. yeah, no thanks

[12bloodeelsinatrenchcoat]

Why not? We likes you!

[convict-simon]

well i dont likes you. youre.. creepy.

[12bloodeelsinatrenchcoat]

And youre squiiisshhhyyyy!

[convict-simon]

….uh huh. thanks, i guess?

[12bloodeelsinatrenchcoat]

Do you want to come with us to nowhere suspicious at all?

[convict-simon]

not really, why?

[convict-simon]

How are you doing, Simon?

@elli-the-eel

…well. why?

[convict-simon]

How about fish spouse? ...do..do they still need bones?

i guarantee you they do. and again, i would advise you not to test your luck.

[convict-simon]

Heellloo siimon! Im back!

I see you met misfortune!

Here ya go!

-edit anon

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTBkPmKKL/

oh, hey again

thanks

[its been so long since ive seen a little misfortune playthrough that i was genuinely so shocked when she popped up in my inbox 🥹]

[convict-simon]

So..uh...been a bit since ive asked..you..you still usin those bones?

fuckin… yes. i still need my bones.

[convict-simon]

Hello good sir! Its us- me! Normal human again!

@12bloodeelsinatrenchcoat

oh. you again. yeah, no thanks

[12bloodeelsinatrenchcoat]

Why not? We likes you!

[convict-simon]

well i dont likes you. youre.. creepy.

[12bloodeelsinatrenchcoat]

And youre squiiisshhhyyyy!

[convict-simon]

….uh huh. thanks, i guess?