edgar vargas

A previously dead man living his life at house number 777.

[conviction-didnt-save-me]

Are there any oddities about yourself that you have noticed since your resurrection??

Well... I don't seem to dream anymore, which is different. Johnny expressed some sort of envy over it when I told him. I don't think it feels the way he imagines it would, though... As if it would help him tell which reality is real. It doesn't do that for me.

Because I lack the capacity to dream, I sometimes wonder if THIS is the dream. I mean, it seems absurd I would come back to life this way. Definitely feels like something that could have been coughed up by the sick wishes of my repressed subconscious.

But even if I am dreaming... so what? I'd keep doing what I am doing. I already know the afterlives are bullshit, so it's not like I'm building up moral energy with my actions now for any sort of angelic pay-off later.

Maybe I'll wake up, maybe I'll die again, maybe the aliens Nny despises will finally find his house and blow it to smithereens. It's not really worth worrying about. I'll deal with that when it comes.

But anyways, yes, it is odd that I don't seem to dream.

[conviction-didnt-save-me]

what do you think about destroying things before they get bad ?

Depends on one's definition of "bad", I suppose. Destroying something could in itself make it "bad".

I just answered a different ask that alluded to eating being a destructive impulse, so I'll use that as an example. I would much rather eat (destroy) my food before it goes "bad".

On the other hand, I would also like to keep our junky little car running as long as possible so I don't intend to cleave it in two with a lamp post before it gets too "bad" to drive.

Though... Johnny might see that as a more fitting farewell for the thing, so it's not just up to me.

[conviction-didnt-save-me]

Is it normal to randomly wanna just angrily take a bit out of your own desk? Like I'm pissed off and my first instinct is that I wanna just EAT THE FUCKING TABLE.

I don't think I am one to determine what is normal and what is not.

But uh...

I actually think that one is pretty normal. Anger is generally asking for destruction of some sort, and why shouldn't it target the thing right in front of you?

Also teeth are well-trained destroyers.

[conviction-didnt-save-me]

do you have a job

I think on most official records I am considered dead these days, which makes it a bit difficult to find employment. Though I will say, they aren't technically inaccurate. It's nice to no longer participate in the rat-race, anyway.

[conviction-didnt-save-me]

are you near sighted or far sighted?

If I take off my glasses, I cannot perceive shit. Which, sometimes is preferable in this house.

[conviction-didnt-save-me]

How is nny doing?

Why are you asking me? You can ask the man yourself.

Oh, it looks like he's not answering questions right now. In that case, it feels rude for me to speak on his behalf if he's taking a break from interactions with the odd strangers of the internet. I can at least tell you that he's not dead. I think. He's been in the basement a good while today. I'll go check on him.

[conviction-didnt-save-me]

do you believe in psychic powers?

Okay, so, Johnny did inform me about his brief stint in Heaven, I think trying to convince me that I didn't miss out on much. But I admit that the head-explodey bit just made me more jealous. I had some abilities in ghost-mode that were kind of similar, but not nearly as entertaining. I didn't have very significant control over the destruction, either. Would a living human be able to channel those kinds of powers? Honestly, I've seen enough weird supernatural shit around here that I'm not going to doubt it. Though... a few of Johnny's more woo-woo victims have threatened him with curses and mind lasers and there has yet to be evidence of any of that manifesting. Or maybe he is just plagued with so much heinous bullshit already that it just fits right in with the usual varmints. Who knows?

[conviction-didnt-save-me]

Don't know if you've answered this question or how willing you'd be to answer it but how exactly did your resurrection come to be?? I am assuming it involves Nny. Did he bring you back and if so, why??

I think I mentioned it here, but... I suppose I can try to summarize the events. It does indeed involve Nny. As he was the one to end my life in the first place, something about it trapped my soul in his house. That was disappointing, I admit, because I was really convinced my soul was destined for something more divine... fluffy clouds and angel choruses, that kind of thing. Looking back at it now, it seems I was hoping for a conclusion as boring as the life I'd lived up to that point. Anyways, I guess I wasn't good enough, so I haunted that basement for a while, found out I could get my little ghostly fingers into the computer to interact with the outside world. And Johnny. Also I may have poltergeisted his living room to pieces a few times. This brought some sort of understanding between us. A bit of mutual regrets, if you will. I think we both wanted the chance to make up for them. My resurrection was a surprise gift. I found out later Johnny had made a deal with someone who has influence over the afterlife. It's not something I would have ever asked for, and honestly it took me a while to accept that it was worth it for him. His continued violent threats that he would make me appreciate my revived life eventually won me over.

[conviction-didnt-save-me]

whats your opinion on ponies

I have to be honest, I prefer horses in small form. The smaller, the better. I appreciate animals large enough to kill me with one kick from a respectful distance. I may live my life without fear of death, but there are better ways to go, you know?

[conviction-didnt-save-me]

omg your not dead anymore :D

I was dead for a good while, yes. Though my non-dead status has been going on for... quite a bit longer at this point, I believe. I think the news is coming to you slightly late.

[conviction-didnt-save-me]

Recently found this blog and you're pretty cool. Anyways hows it going?? Got any life updates for your adoring fans, Vargas??

Adoring fans? Do I have those? Seems unnecessary. Anyways, well, we did get a new refrigerator. The last one was breaking down so Johnny and I procured a new one. From an undisclosed source. It's fine, they didn't need it anymore. It makes weird noises sometimes but at least it doesn't consistently leak rivers of red rusty liquid across the kitchen floor like the last one was doing. It created quite the slipping hazard, which was bad in the room where everyone in the household would often wield knives. We didn't need any unintentional maiming happening.

[conviction-didnt-save-me]

Do you have any words of advice for a vaguely pissed barely sentient bag of meat and juice? Art block is actually killing me

Hopefully artblock hasn't been killing you these last... three and a half years since you sent me this. I personally wouldn't envy that long, drawn-out sort of death.

Anyhow, as far as advice... wait, did you need advice as a bag of meat and juice? Or for artblock? Sorry, I think I'm misunderstanding. Actually, I hope you got the advice you needed way back when and haven't been waiting on mine this whole time. Sorry. Um.

If you still need it, perhaps just... channel some of that pissy meatbag energy into some artwork? It doesn't have to look good, right? Just get some of that creative juice flowing, right?

[conviction-didnt-save-me]

Do you like taxidermy?

I'm finding myself having mixed emotions about the subject. Well, there's a few things around the house that Johnny has put creative effort into, and I appreciate the skill that goes into it! Not to mention that he seems to feel better after making them. Just... don't look into their unseeing eyes for too long. And, you know, having been dead myself, there are some interesting considerations when observing something life-like being preserved in death.

[conviction-didnt-save-me]

damn bro did you die again

Every day that leaf blowers exist, I die a little more.

[auti-eden]

i love being autistic actually. i take a sip of sprite and feel it in my ears

[theweirdwideweb]

[gardeningwithpina]

My mentor: I wanna do a wall garden, because it doesnt take up too much space

Me, already vibrating from the dopamine and adrenaline: Let's talk about espaliers

[gardeningwithpina]

okay, so espaliers are beyond sexy, they are so unbelievably productive

The basics are just... pruning growing trees so they are more 2 dimensional, usually placed against walls. It takes a few years to form/ raise, but they are much easier to maintain than free growing trees in the long run.

(source)

Not only is it more accessible, easier to harvest fruit, but the design has a double purpose; the walls hold and release heat that can keep warm-weathered plants alive during Northen winters!

Fruit Walls: Urban Farming in the 1600s

We are being told to eat local and seasonal food, either because other crops have been tranported over long distances, or because they are g

There are people who use this method to grow avocado, fig, etc trees outdoors without electricity in -20C weather.

A similar technique to espalier can be used to grow furniture without killing the tree!