The Weird Wide Web

Lindy 38 F Minneapolis

[road0flife]

[theweirdwideweb]

Bipolar Disorder Explained

Since my bipolar diagnosis, I've been trying to make sense of it. I found a succinct way of putting it I wanted to share.

Bipolar disorder is many things, but most noticeably a dysregulation of the meaning making centers of your brain. They go haywire.

Mania: Too much meaning. The construction worker outside your house means you're being watched. The newscaster is giving you signals about government secrets. Red cars are confirmation that God is telling you to go to Arizona. Seeing meaning where there is no meaning.

Then the meaning making centers burn out and turn into...

Depression: No meaning. Why get up? Why eat? Why live at all? There's no point to anything. Who cares if my friends and family would be sad that I'm dead. They'll be dead themselves soon anyway. None of this matters.

Then the cycle repeats. Hope this helps! It helped me to finally put it into words!

[theweirdwideweb]

And!

Mixed State Episode: The most dangerous bipolar state, the one most likely to result in harming yourself or others. Everything is confirmation of the meaningless of it all and I have intense energy to act on it.

[weantuniverse]

[theweirdwideweb]

Bipolar Disorder Explained

Since my bipolar diagnosis, I've been trying to make sense of it. I found a succinct way of putting it I wanted to share.

Bipolar disorder is many things, but most noticeably a dysregulation of the meaning making centers of your brain. They go haywire.

Mania: Too much meaning. The construction worker outside your house means you're being watched. The newscaster is giving you signals about government secrets. Red cars are confirmation that God is telling you to go to Arizona. Seeing meaning where there is no meaning.

Then the meaning making centers burn out and turn into...

Depression: No meaning. Why get up? Why eat? Why live at all? There's no point to anything. Who cares if my friends and family would be sad that I'm dead. They'll be dead themselves soon anyway. None of this matters.

Then the cycle repeats. Hope this helps! It helped me to finally put it into words!

[popularsizes]

[theweirdwideweb]

I was sweating all day at work until the manager realized someone turned the heat on instead of the air conditioner. Then I got home and my air conditioner is broken again and it's been 80+ inside all night. Living in hell. Unending hell.

[thewindowofthesummerhouse]

Xue Jiye -  薛继业

[datelinepentagons]

[fuzzyghost]

[fuzzyghost]

[weepingwidar]

Nicko Cecchini (Canadian, d.o.b. unknown) - Mightosis (2026)

[theweirdwideweb]

I've started playing the piano again but it's just the Maple Leaf Rag over and over every day and it's starting to feel a little funhouse circus in here.

[theweirdwideweb]

It's my 39th Birthday.

[theweirdwideweb]

I had an absolutely beautiful day. Everyone indulged me.

[theweirdwideweb]

It's my 39th Birthday.

[theweirdwideweb]

I’m 30 and I’m struggling. Please tell me it’s get better?

I'm afraid life is too uncertain to guarantee such a thing. Throughout our time on Earth the hand of fate deals us many blows, most of which are beyond our control. But, in my personal life, I've found that therapy, doctoring, learning, self reflection, and applying new knowledge to your behavior can absolutely improve the things you can control. I recommend reading Meditations by Marcus Aurelius to gain some peace about accepting what's within our power to change and accepting what is not.

In a more general sense: 30 is not old. 30 is very young. Only children think 30 is old. Circumstances permitting, your body will not break down, you will not lose all your energy, you will not get dumber. Your 30s are, as a physical experience, very much like your 20s except you've got more experience to help guide you. You will struggle horribly, but that's the human condition. I'm entering the last year of my 30s tomorrow and overall they were much, much better than my 20s. I learned to get rid of a lot of self inflicted pain and got the help I needed. It's up to you, but it's possible.

[theweirdwideweb]

do you have tattoos?

I did but I had them removed.

They couldn't get the wrist one all the way out because color is really difficult to remove from pale skin. I did sessions for 2 years but in the end I've just decided to wear a smartwatch for the rest of my life.

[theweirdwideweb]

I'm turning 39 on Saturday. You're all following a middle aged mentally ill spinster cat lady and I'm proud of you.