The Weird Wide Web

Lindy 39 F Minneapolis

[theweirdwideweb]

[theweirdwideweb]

Unfortunately I keep surviving things and becoming funnier.

[moishe-pipick]

[theweirdwideweb]

I've been at my job for almost a month now and I'm starting to form relationships with my coworkers. Something that makes me so sad is that I can't tell them that I have bipolar disorder. It's something I think about all day every day. I have to structure my entire life around it. It's a giant part of who I am and it's this burden I carry, and I want to tell them because it's such a big part of my life and it's horrible and I want to be close to them and be understood. But it's like....we've had this big cultural shift in the past decade where public attitudes towards mental health have changed. Anxiety, depression, autism, ADHD---these things are no longer unmentionable. My boss has ADHD--he told me so! But not all conditions have undergone this shift and certain mental illnesses are still taboo and unmentionable. Schizophrenia, anorexia, bipolar, really all the conditions that are the most difficult to deal with are still relegated to secrecy whereas if I had like CANCER I could just say that. It could be part of how people understood me and wouldn't be this secret burden that I have to hide and explain my way around. I was out yesterday sick and I showed up today without the flu. Would love to say, oh that's my condition. But it has to just be a secret.

[sandmandaddy69]

[sandmandaddy69]

[sandmandaddy69]

[papayajuan2019]

[theweirdwideweb]

Turn your life into a temple devoted to yourself.

[theweirdwideweb]

We are limited creatures committed to the doomed but defining task of self perfection.

[tearwolfe]

my favorite thing about tumblr is that the followers count is so hidden that i genuinely never think about the number. anyway how many do you guys think i have

[theweirdwideweb]

I'm glad it's hidden because it would give the 10 notes I get on text posts a very different context.

[oldshowbiz]

[road0flife]

[theweirdwideweb]

Bipolar Disorder Explained

Since my bipolar diagnosis, I've been trying to make sense of it. I found a succinct way of putting it I wanted to share.

Bipolar disorder is many things, but most noticeably a dysregulation of the meaning making centers of your brain. They go haywire.

Mania: Too much meaning. The construction worker outside your house means you're being watched. The newscaster is giving you signals about government secrets. Red cars are confirmation that God is telling you to go to Arizona. Seeing meaning where there is no meaning.

Then the meaning making centers burn out and turn into...

Depression: No meaning. Why get up? Why eat? Why live at all? There's no point to anything. Who cares if my friends and family would be sad that I'm dead. They'll be dead themselves soon anyway. None of this matters.

Then the cycle repeats. Hope this helps! It helped me to finally put it into words!

[theweirdwideweb]

And!

Mixed State Episode: The most dangerous bipolar state, the one most likely to result in harming yourself or others. Everything is confirmation of the meaningless of it all and I have intense energy to act on it.

[weantuniverse]

[theweirdwideweb]

Bipolar Disorder Explained

Since my bipolar diagnosis, I've been trying to make sense of it. I found a succinct way of putting it I wanted to share.

Bipolar disorder is many things, but most noticeably a dysregulation of the meaning making centers of your brain. They go haywire.

Mania: Too much meaning. The construction worker outside your house means you're being watched. The newscaster is giving you signals about government secrets. Red cars are confirmation that God is telling you to go to Arizona. Seeing meaning where there is no meaning.

Then the meaning making centers burn out and turn into...

Depression: No meaning. Why get up? Why eat? Why live at all? There's no point to anything. Who cares if my friends and family would be sad that I'm dead. They'll be dead themselves soon anyway. None of this matters.

Then the cycle repeats. Hope this helps! It helped me to finally put it into words!

[popularsizes]

[theweirdwideweb]

I was sweating all day at work until the manager realized someone turned the heat on instead of the air conditioner. Then I got home and my air conditioner is broken again and it's been 80+ inside all night. Living in hell. Unending hell.