Guarded Garden

Timeless things that have no name.

[convolutedbeing]

Listen to what I do not say.

[convolutedbeing]

There Was A Girl

there was a girl and the universe amazed her.

so she bought books upon books

of the planets, the stars, and the cosmic unknowns.

  there was a girl and she loved to dream.

so she floated to the clouds

and dove deep into the sea

with merry merpeople.

and so she dreamt and she dreamt

even with eyes wide open.

  there was a girl full of hopes and dreams.

there was a girl springing with life and joy.

yes, there was a girl.

[convolutedbeing]

Remnants

I want to revisit the times…

Of innocence and pure bliss

Of acceptable ignorance and

Honest mistakes.

I want to revisit the times…

Of skinned knees and

Ice cream melting

Of crying out loud

And driving people

Insane.

I want to revisit the times…

Of outrageous questions

And curiosity

Of white lies and

Hopefulness.

I want to revisit the times….

Of uncontrollable laughter

And unreasonable tears

Of smiling in spite of

Nonsense.

I want to revisit the times…

Of entangles bodies and

Long tight hugs.

Of chaste kisses and

Hands held tight.

  I want to stay in a memory forever,

But a walk down memory lane is enough.

I would kill to live in a moment forever,

But my journey has to continue. And I’m

Stuck between the comfort of

Familiarity or the surprises that await me.

I will have to continue whether I like it or not.

I could resist but not for long. There are no pauses,

No stops. You can click replay but all that’s

Going to happen is a nostalgic playback.

Press play to continue moving forward.

I can’t say for sure why this is so. Heavy anchors

Of the past, chained to the present.

A blunt sword on hand.

  Now I see the evils of this forsaken world.

The deceitful claws and prying eyes of society.

The judgment of those who “know better”.

Now all I hear are lies and

My-opinions-are-so-much-better-than-yours-because-its-my-opinion.

Heck, it’s an opinion.

Now egos are skinned if pride’s at stake.

And trust will easily melt away.

Now I am being driven insane.

Now it’s better not to know.

It is better not to feel.

Just sink in the comfort of your excuses.

I’m hopeless.

Now there’s screaming and banging.

Misery is my new best friend.

A bruising grip on my arm

And the gaping hole

Of what used to be.

I miss the you I thought I knew.

Now all that’s left is an entangled mess.

  Desperate and confused.

Dazed and alone.

Surprised.

I could get used to this.

Go.

  unnecessary note. i don't know what came to mind when i wrote this. i just woke up and the first thing that's in my head was "revisit" then i got a pen and paper, and started writing. and ended up with this. whew. i don't know. hahaha! 

[convolutedbeing]

Anata

You are not a drop in the ocean.

You are the ocean in a drop.

You are not a speck in the universe.

You are the universe in a speck.

You are the sun.

You are the moon.

You are the earth.

And the world is yours.

You are every feeling.

You are every word.

You are every taste.

You are every sound.

You are a cup of coffee.

You are a worn up book.

You are a glass of wine.

And you are the world.

[convolutedbeing]

Stop it. My thoughts, my body. You, creeping your way in. I can't, I won't, allow you to break me.

larosalina

[convolutedbeing]

tell all

tell them you're hurting

tell them you're dying

tell them you're sad

tell them how you sobbed

how you broke down

how sore you're eyes were

how hoarse you're voice was.

tell them your flaws

show them you're scars

tell them you're problems

show them your fears

tell them what they want to hear.

to make them better about themselves.

  sad reality of people..

[convolutedbeing]

words

The pain

Was

Unbearable,

Out of the blue,

A head on collision.

Shards of glass

Pierced

My

Skin.

  I recoiled at the pain.

Cradling myself

Rocking side to side’

Willing myself to move

Ignoring the numbing pain

Blinking the tears away,

Taking advantage of my vulnerability

I let out a silent scream.

So no one would hear

No one would pretend to care.

  Ah, the impact of your words.

[convolutedbeing]

farewell

I’ve tried losing myself in books

Escaping in alternate realities

Uplifting my soul

With every page

Closing my heart

With every end.

I’ve tried pouring myself in white sheet

Smearing ink

Smudging lines

Words

Phrases

Prose

Poetry

Yet,

Every now and then,

My vision blurs

And my sheets are stained

And my books are drenched

And the words

And the phrases

And the prose

And the poetry

Won’t be enough

My cheeks are stained.

  I’ve sought comfort in the bitterness of alcohol.

Losing my mind in the clinking ice

Forgetting

Why

I

Even

Came

I’ve sought comfort in the arms of another

Hid in another’s kisses

Hoping to erase your traces

Burying memories

With every touch

Every kiss

Every compliment

Every eye in my direction

I’ve sought comfort in the night

The breaking dawn aware

Of all my secrets

All my sighs

And

All my cries.

[convolutedbeing]

i'd rather nurse a massive hangover than a broken heart.

convolutedbeing

[convolutedbeing]

[convolutedbeing]

hearth

you kindled my heart

and started a fire.

it’s not the words you say

or how you lead the way

it’s the little things you do.

it’s the way you held my hand tight

even without kissing goodbye.

[convolutedbeing]

can we?

for a moment-

can we stop?

can we stop?

scrutinizing

over thinking

judging

hating.

  can't we just

smile

breathe

and

sigh at

uncertainties?

  for a moment

can you just

be there

or here

or everywhere

with me?

[convolutedbeing]

meeting you

made me question

who i am.

meeting you 

made me ask

who the real me

was.

was i myself 

at the time 

i didn't meet you?

was i myself

after i met you?

am i still myself

after you left?

[convolutedbeing]

summer love: most heart fluttering and most heartbreaking.

rrg

[convolutedbeing]

people have left and been to a couple of places. but i'm just in a corner and i've been to so many places. sometimes, all at once

convultedideas

[convolutedbeing]

my heart leaps up

My heart leaps up

at the sound  of your voice

my heart leaps up

at the sight of your face

my heart leaps up

at the mention of your name

my heart leaps up 

for you.