Alternative Cats

Don’t be so overly dramatic about it. You’re saying it’s not a cat but it is.

[conwaysalternativecats]

These alternative cats are the enemy of the people. That's why we won't let them in the gaggle today.

[conwaysalternativecats]

Kathy, this alternative cat, is just tired of those fragile snowflakes with their trigger warnings and safe spaces. Grow up, get some thicker skin, she's done handing out participation trophies.

[conwaysalternativecats]

Look, I'm a smart guy, I can tell when I'm being fooled. Killary was lying to us all, she's on ISIS payroll, you know. But now we finally have a straight talker in the White House. He's not trying to pull the wool over our eyes. Like I said, I'm not an easy guy to fool. Now leave us alone, Yvonne and I are just getting acquainted. We met on Tinder. She's a real woman, 1000%.

[conwaysalternativecats]

These protesters blocking my commute. Why can't they just protest peacefully in some park out of sight? I'm going to miss kick off! We're playing San Francisco and I just gotta see us trounce that Kaeperdick. With his disrespectful kneeling. Why can't he just stand like a patriot and go protest peacefully, when he's not on the clock, in some park out of sight?

[conwaysalternativecats]

I got to where I am through hard work, says this alternative cat. I did it by myself, pulled myself up by the bootstraps, you know. No one helped me.

[conwaysalternativecats]

"The real story is the leaks; why are there so many holes in this cat bed?"

[conwaysalternativecats]

This cat is absolutely real. The watermelon is fake.

[conwaysalternativecats]

The powers of this alternative cat to protect his home are very substantial and will not be questioned.

[conwaysalternativecats]

Cat Bannon is here to help drain the swamp

[conwaysalternativecats]

We aren't making a mess, we're cleaning it up, say these alternative cats

[conwaysalternativecats]

“I was a good student. I understand things,” this alternative cat said. “I comprehend very well, okay? Better than, I think, almost anybody

[conwaysalternativecats]

This alternative cat was a victim of Obamacare death panels. RIP.

[conwaysalternativecats]

This alternative cat is done with the establishment regulating every area of his life. He's not wearing seat belts unless he wants to, from now on.

[conwaysalternativecats]

This alternative cat says "don't tread on me. Tread on the others. The immigrants and women and black people and stuff. But not me"

[conwaysalternativecats]

Obviously this is a cat, but MSM wants you to think she's not. Don’t believe the liberal liars.

[conwaysalternativecats]

This alternative cat doesn't buy her coffee from Starbucks anymore. She doesn't want explosive caffeine! Credit to Maddie Stands on Things

[conwaysalternativecats]

I went online and bought all of Eevannkas fall line because KellyAnne told me to, says this alternative cat, but I'm no sheep, I don't just do what I'm told. Wake up sheeples!