Me talking to a guy:
Guy: I’m gonna make you scream
Me:

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Me talking to a guy:
Guy: I’m gonna make you scream
Me:
A couple and their child were looking over our Marvel Characters plush at my work, right? And the dad turns to his little girl and asks, “Which Marvel character do you want?”
His little girl, maybe 9, replies, “Mmm, I think I want Captain Marvel.”
Dad makes a face, and says, “How about you choose a real super hero and not a little princess?”
Me and my coworkers were about to smack down on this man when his wife makes a FACE and says, “Honey, you get Captain Marvel.” Then she turns to her husband. “Shut the fuck up, Greg.”
And that has become our new motto for dealings with mysogenists at work.
Shut the fuck up, Greg.
Steve: we’re the avengers.
Carol: huh. that’s funny, that was my nickname in the Air Force.
Fury:
Paris Rooftops. by thefuturekept
*is still v excited about books but doesn’t have the motivation or concentration to read like I used to*
This is too accurate lol
The accuracy
Jeff Bezos is the last one
congrats on your face
I’m a little late but I’m kinda sad that Bradley Cooper didn’t get the golden globe because the guy worked so hard for five months five days a week and I kinda imagine him like a smol soft bean™️ at this point 💞💕💖💘💗💓
But Rami did an amazing job too so I guess I can’t have the cake and eat it
You know, he knew you. Your pal, your buddy, your Bucky. He remembered you. I was there, he got all weepy about it. Until we put his brain back in the blender.
Chris Evans the best kinda guy™ since 2010
“family, stability…guy who wanted all that went in the ice 75 years ago. i think someone else came out”
tiny comic about bucky’s insecurities. as he recovers, bucky’s upset he can’t revert to exactly who he was before hydra. sometimes, seeing how he used to be with steve in the 40s unnerves him. he feels like he can’t be steve’s best friend again. steve realizes this and, fortunately, knows how to comfort him. he understands the feeling. completely inspired by @ladypeg!
I dunno if this is okay to ask or not, so if it isn’t ignore me. But do you have any recs for pregnant Bucky in like the Omegaverse?
Yes, certainly!
I already rec’d this fic, it’s a wip, but focuses very much on Bucky being pregnant and his journey as a surrogate, plus falling for Steeb. It’s really good!
All I want - by headcanon_haven (wip, 99k so far)
Summary:
Bucky Barnes is a down on his luck omega who just wants to break into the alpha-driven professional world of bionics engineering, but is desperate to find a way to start paying back his enormous student loan debt.
Steve Rogers is an alpha who, against the odds, is incredibly successful in his dream job – but is still reeling from tragedy and yearning for a chance to start a family, especially now that all of his friends seem to have kids of their own.
They both find the answer to their problem through Conceive Solutions, an upscale surrogacy and fertility services provider.
Tags: ABO, ABO dynamics, Omega Bucky, Alpha Steve, Pre serum Steve, Kid fic (Sam and Riley’s kids so far), Medical procedures with surrogacy, Bucky feels, Bucky Barnes needs a hug, Pregnant Bucky, Protective Steve. WIP.
~
Sugar Baby Love - by roe87 (wip, 81k so far)
Summary:
There’s a really hot male omega living in the apartment above Steve’s, and Steve would like to get to know him but admittedly he’s not the smoothest alpha on the block.
Then after an incident that leaves Bucky dodging the cops, Steve lets him crash on his couch and suddenly finds himself in a surprise room-mate situation.
Which is totally, totally fine. Steve can be a good room-mate and not let his enormous crush on Bucky get in the way. Right?
Tags: Canon divergence, Shrunkyclunks, ABO, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Mating, Knotting, Alpha Steve Rogers, Protective Steve Rogers, Omega Bucky Barnes, Sex Worker Bucky Barnes, Slow Burn, Domestic Fluff, Neighbors, Friends to Lovers, Top Steve Rogers, Bottom Bucky Barnes, Intersex Bucky Barnes, Mpreg, Temporary Break Up, Hurt/Comfort, Mutual Pining, Surprise Baby, Domestic Avengers, Nursing, Male Lactation, Nannies, Learning to Parent, Angst with (eventual) happy ending.
~
An Accident of Time - by pickitup
(Note: fic doesn’t feature Mpreg but it’s very much about nesting and biological urges, so it has some of the same feels! well worth a read)
Summary:
Boys weren’t omegas. Not outside of blue movies, or bluer songs, at least, the kind of anecdotes too ribald even for soldiers to tell. Girls were omegas, sometimes, but rarely, even in those days. Dying breeds, he guessed.
When he was the asset it had stopped entirely, he had thought it all over: feels sick thinking of what they would have done to exploit him if he had suffered back then. But now, 2014, eating three meals a day, sleeping regularly in a safe bed, the old ghost has come back.
Tags: Post CA:TWS, canon fic, Bucky Barnes recovering, ABO, Omega Bucky Barnes, Alpha Steve Rogers, protective Steve, Top Steve Rogers, Bottom Bucky Barnes, Avengers, Angst with a happy end.
~
Biological Imperative - by Stuckytrash (Watsittoyou)
Summary:
“I want to have a baby.”
Steve managed not to spit his coffee in Bucky’s face.
“Well, for that, you’d usually need a boyfriend.”
“I was kind of hoping that… that you’d…”
Oh.
-In which Bucky wants to have Steve’s baby, and Steve is a very concerned dad-to-be.
Tags: Modern au, ABO, Smut, Omega Bucky Barnes, Alpha Steve Rogers, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Pining, Pregnancy, Breeding, Friends with benefits, Mpreg, Kinks, Fluff and smut, Baby Names, Marriage Proposal, fluff.
Part 1 of the Ohana series
~
The Winter Soldier Becomes a Parent - by The Notorious Trollop
Summary:
Bucky has unthinkingly come down with a bad case of maternity. Steve is out of town and no one Bucky knows has any experience with children. To prepare for the one situation HYDRA taught him nothing about, he decides that seeking council with his peers is the best option.
As he tries to get a foot up on this new life, it becomes apparent he is not the only one. For the heroes of New York, risking life and limb is easy; coming home to a spouse and family is hard.
Tags: Canon fic, Canon divergence, ABO, Mpreg, Guidance counselors, Omega Bucky Barnes, Alpha Steve Rogers, Hurt/Comfort, Humor, Friendship.
Part 4 of the Domestic Lives of Superheroes
~
Maybe We Could Fall In Love - by Grayweathersby13
Summary:Bucky is the oldest of five, with his father never around and his mother just giving up on life, the responsibility of taking care of his young siblings falls on his shoulders.
Steve is an only child, raised by two great people. He lives in a nice home, he has great friends and he’s popular.
When the two are paired for an assignment together, a night of studying takes a turn.
How will the two deal with the repercussions of their night together?
Tags: Modern au, High School au, Teen Pregnancy, Unplanned Pregnancy, Omega Bucky Barnes, Alpha Steve Rogers, Post serum Steve, ABO, ABO dynamics, Morning Sickness, Birth, Male lactation.
~
Testing time to get me by - by Jibbly
Summary:
“Dude I was with tonight said that his boss was thinking about getting a surrogate. Maybe you should do that.“
Or, where Bucky is an omega on his way out of a bad marriage and decides to become a surrogate.
Tags: Modern au, Stucky, ABO, ABO dynamics, Omega Bucky Barnes, Mpreg, Surrogacy, Slow Burn, Sugar Daddy.
~
Please note that, this list has been compiled to include fics that don’t feature non con or dub con, to the best of my knowledge, but do check the tags on the individual fics themselves before reading, and make your own judgements too. Thanks!
Also, will be posting another Mpreg list later that isn’t ABO, as this list was already long enough, it made sense to separate the recs.
-HYBB
Shout out to my Arabic teacher that looked at us yesterday mid-lesson and said, “I’m worried. You all look exhausted and depressed.”
Of course we were all like, “Oh yeah we’re dead inside, you haven’t noticed?”
And he snapped shut the textbook, threw up his hands and said, “That’s not healthy! No more vocab! Time for dancing!”
And he taught us a dance from Iraq and we danced instead of doing vocab. We didn’t stop dancing until he saw all of us laughing and was satisfied that we were all feeling better. It was perhaps the coolest, most kind-hearted thing I’ve ever seen a college instructor do.
When Sebastian asked her “do you love me?” I fell in love with him even more is that how it works for him?
Destroyer (2018) dir. Karyn Kusama
starring Nicole Kidman & Sebastian Stan