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@coolasicehero-blog
OOC Quitting (for now, at least)
Ok, guys, I just gotta say...I never keep up with these accounts and honestly, all they do is depress me.
I might come back, but I need some time away.
I don't regret the time I spent with you...
But I need time. Both of my accounts just...represent too much of the past, and they still hurt.
I may return. Might return with a new character, who knows.
But well, let's just say...a hero and a psychopath are not what I need in my life right now.
OOC Apologies
I've been off a lot, lately. Part of it was school, but part of it, well...is emotional. I started these accounts last year. And well, I started them with a friend very close to me. We used to play together, a lot. But she moved away, and the very muses that were once my friends started hurting.
I know it sounds ridiculous. But well, I picked Kefka and Snow, not just because they were from games we'd played together, but, because I identified with them.
I spent last Christmas watching my friend move away. I spent last Christmas wanting nothing more than to die. I spent the following months in a nervous breakdown.
There's a ton of baggage, and I hate dragging it.
I've been abandoning my friends here, and not there when you need me. I'm also, let's face it, a bit of a whiny, emotional, pretentious guy and I swear my portrayals lapse into OOC far too much. Maybe I should quit.
I...just don't know what to do, sorry.
“To tell you the truth, Serah…so did I.”
Serah grinned, “I love you Snow… and I always have.”
"Let's check on that chicken. Wouldn't want it to burn, as nice as this is..."
“I’m glad. I don’t think I could stand another punch.” he deadpanned.
He kissed Serah.
“Now, this is a great start to an evening!”
“Yes it is and I’m so happy that I get to spend it with my fiance,” she kissed his nose, “This is all I wanted when I arrived in this strange town: to find you and live life.”
"To tell you the truth, Serah...so did I."
“Baby, it just wasn’t the same without you. And hey, I could hardly look Lightning in the eye, knowing I’d let you down. Also, if your moogle shows up, I’d like to apologize for insulting the little guy. He was only trying to cheer me up, and I was in no mood.”
“Mog…. cares about me and he cares about how ha[ppy I am and I know that when he comes around he’ll be grateful for the apology.”
Serah kissed his cheek, “Lightning will be happy for us, no matter what now that she knows I’m happy.”
"I'm glad. I don't think I could stand another punch." he deadpanned.
He kissed Serah.
"Now, this is a great start to an evening!"
“I think that’s up to you, Serah.”
Snow moved in closer and kissed her.
“Though being here with you is a wonderful start.”
He sighed, relieved that he was once again with his beloved.
Serah pecked his nose and then his lips before snuggling into him, her hero, “I’m glad that you like it here.”
"Baby, it just wasn't the same without you. And hey, I could hardly look Lightning in the eye, knowing I'd let you down. Also, if your moogle shows up, I'd like to apologize for insulting the little guy. He was only trying to cheer me up, and I was in no mood."
Snow smiled wistfully.
“I’ve missed it too…more than you can ever know.”
The kitchenette seemed warmer, even without the oven on. Serah just had that way of warming a room simply by smiling.
Once the meal had been mostly prepared, she placed the chickens in the oven with the veggies and the mashed potatoes in a warmer before sitting on her large black wrap around couch and calling him over, “Dinner won’t be ready for a bit, what shall we do in the mean time?”
"I think that's up to you, Serah."
Snow moved in closer and kissed her.
"Though being here with you is a wonderful start."
He sighed, relieved that he was once again with his beloved.
Snow took a nearby knife and began to cut the potatoes into smaller pieces, before pouring some milk in and mashing them.
“It feels good to be back, Serah…wandering…it just isn’t for me. I’m a hero and I love adventure but I couldn’t stand not being by your side.”
Serah smiled before looking at him, there he was standing in her kitchen like everything was back to normal. “Ive missed this. You being here and just feeling so comfortable.”
Snow smiled wistfully.
"I've missed it too...more than you can ever know."
The kitchenette seemed warmer, even without the oven on. Serah just had that way of warming a room simply by smiling.
“Now that’s a plan even I can get down with!”
Snow laughed and smiled.
“But maybe let me help a little—it’s been a long few nights.”
“Fine, fine,” she giggled and led him to her tiny kitchenette, “I think you’re too big for this place.”
She pulled out some ingredients for dinner: two small chickens to be roasted, a bowl of potatoes needing to be smashed and a random assortment of veggies needing to be sliced and diced, “I think you can start with the potatoes my love.”
Snow took a nearby knife and began to cut the potatoes into smaller pieces, before pouring some milk in and mashing them.
"It feels good to be back, Serah...wandering...it just isn't for me. I'm a hero and I love adventure but I couldn't stand not being by your side."
Snow hugged her back.
“I promised your sister you wouldn’t cry again. Time and again I haven’t been able to fulfill that. Now, I’m going to give it the biggest shot of my life.”
He grinned.
“Serah, what would you like to do now? To celebrate our overdue reunion?”
“I’m starving,” it had been a few days since she had eaten like a real meal. She had barely been able to choke down bread and soup. Now she realized she wanted to eat a meal- a real dinner, “I’ll make something. I don’t want to go out, I want to keep you all to myself for now.”
"Now that's a plan even I can get down with!"
Snow laughed and smiled.
"But maybe let me help a little--it's been a long few nights."
Snow laughed.
“That’s up to you, Serah…I’m just glad to see you again…”
“Maybe I should,” she snaked her arms around his waist and giggled, “It wont be nearly as extravagant as a motorcycle ride through beautiful wish granting fireworks but… you know. I’m happy that you’re back with me, boyfriend or fiance.”
Snow hugged her back.
"I promised your sister you wouldn't cry again. Time and again I haven't been able to fulfill that. Now, I'm going to give it the biggest shot of my life."
He grinned.
"Serah, what would you like to do now? To celebrate our overdue reunion?"
“Hey, hey…let’s not get ahead of ourselves. We’ve got a hell of a lot of living to do first.”
Snow was blushing and smiling in that dorky fashion of his. Things had finally turned out alright. He put the necklace on her and kissed her.
“Baby, your boyfriend’s back…and he’s here to stay.”
She turned around and landed a peck on his lips with a soft smile, “Boyfriend? Gee, don’t tell me I have to propose to you now.”
Snow laughed.
"That's up to you, Serah...I'm just glad to see you again..."
“Did I ever tell you why I picked it out? Why it’s basically shaped like Cocoon? It’s because you mean the world to me. And I’d move heaven and earth for you.”
“Oh Snow,” she sighed happily before handing him the necklace to clasp on her neck. She turned and showed her neck for him to clasp it, “I will love you until my dying day.”
"Hey, hey...let's not get ahead of ourselves. We've got a hell of a lot of living to do first."
Snow was blushing and smiling in that dorky fashion of his. Things had finally turned out alright. He put the necklace on her and kissed her.
"Baby, your boyfriend's back...and he's here to stay."
When she turned to face him, the small inkling of hope igniting in the pits of his heart faded. Eyes for another stared back at him and he knew she had made her decision. Forcing a smile, he arose with her, taking her hand into his as they fled to the silence of the hallway. He’d be a fool if he claimed his entirety wasn’t corroding away from the pain but he managed to remain seemingly content with all this for the sake of Serah.
I will love you into the next life, and then we will be together…
Those words were melodic, pleasing to his ear and he could not help but pull her into a tight embrace, tears of his own cascading down his cheeks, falling gracefully into the pink strands of her hair. He remained there for a moment, absorbing this final moment. He couldn’t grasp that this would all end soon, he would miss this entirely — the aureate scent of her, the warmth of her touch, the euphoric feeling of her kiss, everything.
“My love for you is eternal, I will love you forever Serah,” he whispered, pulling away from the embrace for only a moment to recapture her lips, “I will wait for you in our next lives, I promise.”
He said it, their thing, their sentence, their promise. He gave her one last smile before leaving her loft, their memories shared together staying with him until his next lives.
“Oh, Serah…yes!”
Snow pulled Serah toward him.
“Oh, Serah, I’m so so sorry…I’ll never leave your side again. Not til death do us part.”
Serah wrapped her arms around him with an elated grin, “I’m so glad you still want me. You are my everything and I couldn’t bare the thought of losing you again.”
She took the necklace and placed it on him, “I know it’s not formal but I hope this still means something to you.”
"Did I ever tell you why I picked it out? Why it's basically shaped like Cocoon? It's because you mean the world to me. And I'd move heaven and earth for you."
Hearing her cry cause an ache in the young prince’s heart to erupt. Feelings of anguish and despair grew apparent on his pallid face. His dim eyes, now shifting from their normal sapphire hue to gray, gazed down into her despondent blue irises, his grip around her tightening. They both had fallen in love with each other during the worst times. And just when their wounds and guilt seemed to have healed, they infiltrated their entireties once again.
He wanted stay with her until the end of the this life and the end of the next ones to come just like they promised but found the likelihood of that dream to be impossible now. A new obstacle had just arose and it was a difficult one to overcome. But, he could not blame her for her pain and confusion, an old love — especially if it was true love — will always be the most hardest thing to push away. He knew that all to well.
“You don’t need to be sorry Serah,” he said, his voice no higher than a whisper, “Falling in love you was the most beautiful thing to ever happen to me since coming here,” he continued, his lips curling slightly to a half smile, “And if you do choose him then —,” he paused, his eyes declining down to the fabrics of her bed, flashbacks of the time they first met, when they both nearly killed one another, their first kiss, when they first made love — everything they’ve been through flooding his mind, causing him to grow more somber, “Then I will forever keep our memories shares together embedded in my heart.”
It hurt, he wasn’t going to lie. But this wasn’t about him. Serah had put her faith in him once. Now, who she put faith in was once again up to her.
“Serah…I understand completely…and if he’s the one you want to be with, you go with him. I love you, Serah, and I will always love you. “
He thought about their adventures. He thought about fighting for her so she could live again.
He thought about every happy memory.
“If you want to move on…I’ll always treasure the memories we shared.”
“Noctis…” she grabbed his hands and looked into his sad grey eyes, “What you’ve given up for me, I will never forget and I promise under the eyes of Etro I will bring your mother back, defying all odds to make you happy again. I don’t deserve you.” Her hands touched his face and she looked to Snow for a moment before rising and pulling Noctis out of the room to lead him to her door. This was it. The moment she said goodbye to him.
They stood there, before the door and she hugged him close with streams of tears running down her face, “I will love you into the next life, and then we will be together.”
She pulled him down to her lips, kissing him one last time just to remember the feeling of having him hold her like that, “My sweet prince.” She mumbled into his lips before pulling back and kissing his forehead, “When I see you next, it will be in happier times. I promise.”
Once he left, Serah moved back into her bedroom and held up and hand to silence Snow before he could speak. She moved to the side table and held up his necklace, “I hope you will take this back… As a sign of my love for you.”
When she turned to face him, the small inkling of hope igniting in the pits of his heart faded. Eyes for another stared back at him and he knew she had made her decision. Forcing a smile, he arose with her, taking her hand into his as they fled to the silence of the hallway. He’d be a fool if he claimed his entirety wasn’t corroding away from the pain but he managed to remain seemingly content with all this for the sake of Serah.
I will love you into the next life, and then we will be together…
Those words were melodic, pleasing to his ear and he could not help but pull her into a tight embrace, tears of his own cascading down his cheeks, falling gracefully into the pink strands of her hair. He remained there for a moment, absorbing this final moment. He couldn’t grasp that this would all end soon, he would miss this entirely — the aureate scent of her, the warmth of her touch, the euphoric feeling of her kiss, everything.
“My love for you is eternal, I will love you forever Serah,” he whispered, pulling away from the embrace for only a moment to recapture her lips, “I will wait for you in our next lives, I promise.”
He said it, their thing, their sentence, their promise. He gave her one last smile before leaving her loft, their memories shared together staying with him until his next lives.
"Oh, Serah...yes!"
Snow pulled Serah toward him.
"Oh, Serah, I'm so so sorry...I'll never leave your side again. Not til death do us part."
“Likewise.”
He simply replied to the other male, his sapphire eyes shifting to the obsidian and starlit sky above, their silence quickly interrupted by Mog. Listening, he then brought his gaze down to the creature, his thoughts rummaging through mind for a decision. He could not bring himself to stare into the face of the woman she loved, next to the man who harbored the same feelings as well. But, he knew this needed to be done. She needed to look into the eyes of the two men she cared for and make her choice.
“Follow me.”
He told the other before leading him towards Serah’s loft. It was a short journey, a walk filled with nothing but silence and uneasiness but he managed to maintain a calm demeanor — his face never betraying his emotions.
As they approached her building, he allowed the teo of them entry by means of the spare key and made their way up three flights up stares, entering her space. The loft was quiet and dark, muffled sobs could be heard from the bedroom and immediately Noctis fled to there. What he saw nearly tore him into two and he couldn’t help but flee to her side, draping a comforting arm across her shoulders.
“Serah…” he whispered, his voice quavering from the sight of her and his lips aching to capture her’s.
Snow raced after the prince, and entered with him.
Serah had never looked so vulnerable in her entire life.
And the overwhelming guilt Snow felt…
Snow took her other hand and held it, like an old friend. That was all he could hope for.
“Serah…”
Sera felt an arm engulf her shoulders and a hand grasping her own and she looked up and there they were- both of them setting beside her bed. The only way she knew it was them through blurry tears was because she could see their figures in the dim light: the regal prince, and the giant hero both awaiting her words of decision. She pulled away from both of them and blinked away dry tears.
“Hi…” she hiccuped and looked between both of them and her face saddened, “If you think both of you being here is helping…”
She looked at the space between them, “I dont know what to say to either of you except I’m sorry… I’m sorry for the pain that I brought you both and for falling so deeply in love with you two. My heart bursts at the thought of losing either of you… I cant-” She began to whimper and choke back sobs, “I can’t…”
Hearing her cry cause an ache in the young prince’s heart to erupt. Feelings of anguish and despair grew apparent on his pallid face. His dim eyes, now shifting from their normal sapphire hue to gray, gazed down into her despondent blue irises, his grip around her tightening. They both had fallen in love with each other during the worst times. And just when their wounds and guilt seemed to have healed, they infiltrated their entireties once again.
He wanted stay with her until the end of the this life and the end of the next ones to come just like they promised but found the likelihood of that dream to be impossible now. A new obstacle had just arose and it was a difficult one to overcome. But, he could not blame her for her pain and confusion, an old love — especially if it was true love — will always be the most hardest thing to push away. He knew that all to well.
“You don’t need to be sorry Serah,” he said, his voice no higher than a whisper, “Falling in love you was the most beautiful thing to ever happen to me since coming here,” he continued, his lips curling slightly to a half smile, “And if you do choose him then —,” he paused, his eyes declining down to the fabrics of her bed, flashbacks of the time they first met, when they both nearly killed one another, their first kiss, when they first made love — everything they’ve been through flooding his mind, causing him to grow more somber, “Then I will forever keep our memories shares together embedded in my heart.”
It hurt, he wasn't going to lie. But this wasn't about him. Serah had put her faith in him once. Now, who she put faith in was once again up to her.
"Serah...I understand completely...and if he's the one you want to be with, you go with him. I love you, Serah, and I will always love you. "
He thought about their adventures. He thought about fighting for her so she could live again.
He thought about every happy memory.
"If you want to move on...I'll always treasure the memories we shared."
((At some point, Lightning does drag him out of the bar. Let’s just say he leaves the hotel they go to after sobering up))
Snow ran out into the streets and screamed his love’s name to the heavens.
“SSSSSEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAHHHHH!”
[I too will fast forward, Noctis is back in town after brooding the darkness of the forest.]
Back in the quiet and dim streets of Moogletown walked the dark prince, face emotionless and gray eyes to the stone ground beneath. As he stepped through the nearly empty town, his mind rummaged through his thoughts, his heart nearly breaking into two. Upon arrival in this goddess forsaken world, his life had transformed from apathetic to wonderful to content to regretful to perfect and now to anguish. The woman he loved, the woman he sacrificed his old love, his mother, his freedom, nearly everything to be with was now caught in between her past and her present.
All those people and things he gave up, now destroyed for nothing. He could not help but feel betrayed but immediately vanished those thoughts. He had no right to say such words. He abandoned his two loves prior and recently left Serah as well, though it was in order to protect her he still departed from her side.
Continuing, he began heading into the direction of Serah’s loft when a loud, booming yell caught his attention. There in front of the town’s inn stood a bulky giant, blond strands adorning his head and thin hairs on his face. Their eyes met for only a moment and instantaneously the prince knew who he was. It was him — Serah’s old love.
Standing there, he remained motionless and silent, his eyes fixated at the other. He nearly beckoned his weapons, but concluded the idea to be idiotic. Instead, he looked at the man, fully aware he knew who he was as well.
“Noctis, I presume.”
The blond stood there, not saying anything, not raising his fists. He just looked at him and sighed.
“Well? What can I say? We seem to be in a bit of a pickle. So let’s talk it out. With Serah present, ideally. I’m not one to fight in situations like this.”
Serah managed to drag herself from the shower and once more stared at herself. Noctis’ weapons piercing her wrists and that euphoric feeling of letting him live happily under the eyes of Etro. Those scars were faded but raised on her wrists. Her side of scars, no longer pink but five distinct lines of claw marks on her rib cage.
Ever since Noctis left her she had been distraught, unable to eat or sleep the first week losing weight and her face growing gaunt. Serah had run into Snow and she grew so distraught that he was so upset with her decision that she couldn’t bring herself to follow after him to the bars. She finally sluffed back to her room to change into a white tube top and pink shorts with pink socks before wrapping herself around her pillow to cry some more.
Mog returned to the scene of Noctis and Snow’s meeting, bobbing between them and flicking his eyes between them, “All you’re going to do is talk? If you want Serah you know where to find her, Kupo.” And then he disappeared with a blink of light, hoping they would appear at the loft to save Serah from herself.
“Likewise.”
He simply replied to the other male, his sapphire eyes shifting to the obsidian and starlit sky above, their silence quickly interrupted by Mog. Listening, he then brought his gaze down to the creature, his thoughts rummaging through mind for a decision. He could not bring himself to stare into the face of the woman she loved, next to the man who harbored the same feelings as well. But, he knew this needed to be done. She needed to look into the eyes of the two men she cared for and make her choice.
“Follow me.”
He told the other before leading him towards Serah’s loft. It was a short journey, a walk filled with nothing but silence and uneasiness but he managed to maintain a calm demeanor — his face never betraying his emotions.
As they approached her building, he allowed the teo of them entry by means of the spare key and made their way up three flights up stares, entering her space. The loft was quiet and dark, muffled sobs could be heard from the bedroom and immediately Noctis fled to there. What he saw nearly tore him into two and he couldn’t help but flee to her side, draping a comforting arm across her shoulders.
“Serah…” he whispered, his voice quavering from the sight of her and his lips aching to capture her’s.
Snow raced after the prince, and entered with him.
Serah had never looked so vulnerable in her entire life.
And the overwhelming guilt Snow felt...
Snow took her other hand and held it, like an old friend. That was all he could hope for.
"Serah..."
