It’s been more than 11 years since dad died, and nearly 18 since started learning to place health boundaries. I still need these reminders, though, so I’m putting them here in case they help others, too
• Boundaries are about my actions, not others; they are to protect what I value, not to get others to value the same things as me.
• My boundaries can be flexible: they don't all (even when some deffs do) need to be 40ft concrete walls. Sometimes a picket fence or a wall with a door is what's needed. Sometimes chicken-wire like a farm fence or screen-wire like a sliding door is what I need; sometimes a line in the sand, sometimes bulletproof glass, and sometimes an international boarder with a moat & armed guards.
• Even though it's been years since I started practicing boundary setting, I'm still learning.
• Just like on a farm, where fencing is almost an ongoing job; or like on bush blocks where firebreaks need to be regularly cleared: my boundaries needs maintenance and checking for ongoing appropriateness.
image from Unspash
