still sane

cora crawford; survivor

[charlxtte-callaghan-blog]

   “You don’t think we’ve all thought about it? Escaping the mad house for one day to further explore what lies yonder; we all have, anyone who says otherwise is in denial. But is it worth it? Maybe – maybe not.“

[corcrawford-blog]

“I’m not in denial. I bet it’s not pleasant out there..” Flashes of the infected came to mind. She’d rather not stumble with any of them and risk getting sick as well. She didn’t want to die just yet. “I don’t think it’s worth it.”

[caleb-crawford-deactivated20160]

Caleb hated times like these, when he couldn’t find his sister anywhere. He knew that Concordia had guards to make sure nobody got in and out unless they had to, but he always thought irrationally when it came to his sister. He always thought about the worst case scenario, even when some of the things he thought would be highly impossible. Although he used to think that about diseases that made act like zombies, too. He turned several corners, growing more and more frustrated as time went on and there was still no sign of his sister anywhere. Turning another corner, he saw someone up ahead and as he took a few more steps he noticed that the person had stopped. 

It was had to see in the dark, so it wasn’t until he closed the distance between the two of them that he noticed it was his sister. “There you are,” he said, a hint of anxiety still in his voice. He didn’t mind though, if there was one person he was okay with showing emotion around it was his sister. “You know…you have to get into the habit of leaving notes, Cor. Makes my life a little easier. I’ve been looking all over the place.”

[corcrawford-blog]

Head turned around, the all too familiar voice hitting her ears. Her older brother had the habit of being protective, at times too protective. She had only gone for a walk and he still somehow managed to worry, it seemed. “I’m fine, why are you looking for me?” She almost had the urge to say that she was free to do things, too. Wander around and climb trees for all she knew, but she knew why he worried so much. At times she did too, for him. To think of losing the only thing she still had left made her heart ache. Life wouldn’t make sense if she ever lost her brother. He was her only family, the sole reason she tried to be brave and keep going despite it all.

But fine, she really was not. It was obvious by the way she fidgeted with the fabric of her shirt and the way she chewed on her bottom lip as if something did worried her. But she was sleep deprived, trying to think of other things rather than the nightmares she so often got.

[cooperbuchanan-blog]

A woman releases a blood-curdling scream, reducing herself to nothing but a pile of agony bent over the newly bloodied body of her husband, cradling his lifeless head in her arms as she cries out in anguish. Nash shoots awake, his subconscious guilt manifesting itself as droplets of sweat randomly dotting his forehead. Another night, another nightmare. In no time he’s outside, seeking comfort in the form of a cool breeze and the presence of others. Most often he would seat himself a safe distance away from a conversation being held in a public area, not wanting to join in, but gaining solace in the monotony with which the others are speaking. The people he co-existed with, the people he protected, could live their lives with very few worries, while he carried the weight of the world on his shoulders, hoping that one day he too could find a new normal. 

But tonight it seemed he was the only one awake. He had never encountered this much quiet before, it almost made him yearn for the bombs that went off inside of his head when he was in the midst of an episode. Almost. Panicked that his fail-safe was gone, he took off in search of someone, anyone, running down road after road before finally coming across a silent silhouette that stopped moving as he closed the distance between them. “Hey there, are you alright?” he asked between uneven breaths, praying that she answered, praying that she wasn’t just another figment of his mind, that this wasn’t simply the beginning of a new nightmare. 

[corcrawford-blog]

Was there even such thing as alright anymore? With the world crumbling beneath their feet and the impending threat for infection? They were all bound to die one way or the other. How could anyone be simply alright? It could be a façade, to be in constant denial of what awaited them. But then, why did she nod, say things she didn’t actually meant? “I just - find walks calming. I’m okay.” And with the night sky shining above, how couldn’t anyone soak themselves in momentary peace? Though, half of her statement was actually a lie. But in all attempts to push that side of her from reigning, she focused on something else; as always.

“Are you?” Doe-eyes stared at the man, who did look a bit shaken up. Then again, almost everyone did. But it didn’t hurt to ask.

[jaggerwinston-blog]

Boy was he tired. Tired from all that running. From the transition of a hot broad daylight to a chilly dusk. Tired from the disappointing meal they rationed for the scouting squad. Tired from his roommate’s snoring. But, unfortunately, not tired enough to pass out in the comfort of his bed. The guards are out now, risking their lives, giving up their sleeping schedule to make sure their posts are filled. Eyes strained from looking out, legs dragging from the patrol rounds. It was a good thing that wandering the community at night wasn’t against the new laws —it’s what most people in this community needs. Some time alone. It’s the closest they could have to be reminded of how peaceful life was. Maybe not as peaceful as paradise, but if anyone had to ask Jagger, he’d choose living with his abusive parents above this post-apocalyptic verse. At least then, he knew how to handle the enemy. Now it’s a story of struggle. A struggle for food, for water, for a life that could easily be taken away with just a single infectious bite.

Jagger was never a friendly person; stepping into this community with that attitude of his made it difficult for him to fit in. With his blunt and insensitive nature, he’s aware that it’s better for everyone if he kept his mouth shut. But that’s the thing about Jagger; it wasn’t easy to keep his mouth shut. So when he made out a figure in the faint glow of the night, he didn’t hesitate to speak up. “Little Crawford? That you?”

[corcrawford-blog]

Little Crawford. The fact that no one called her by her name was a bit disappointing. She was always catalogued as Caleb’s little sister, as if they came in a two-pack and they actually did. But it would be a nice change to hear people address her by her actual name. The voice that resonated through the street was familiar. She’d heard it before, that was for sure. So, as the figure was revealed, it was evident it was none other than Jagger Winston. She’d heard things about him around Concordia, and she usually tried to stray away from trouble or just bad people all together. At times, her solace by the farming lands were perfect. It just meant she wouldn’t be stumbling with anyone for the time being. The streets, though - they were another story. 

“I - yeah..” A gulp went past her throat, as she remained frozen in place, wondering if the guy’s intentions were actually good. Cora wasn’t one to trust so easily. By far, her brother was the only one she fully trusted.

[cecilia-mk-deactivated20160401]

The brunette was not alone in her wandering. Cecilia too was having a nightmare of a night - literally. She’d went to bed, ignoring her sister entirely, after a complicated and testing day at the bakery only to be faced with nightmares of her parent’s and siblings dying on a constant loop; each grew more horrific and bolder in her mind. She woke up in a hurry, tears pooling in her eyes, the young blonde very rarely showed much emotion as it was, but for her to cry it must have hit her hard. She needed a break. A break from Concordia. She picked up her trusting pocket knife that got her through the years - which was once her eldest brother’s - and she made her journey to the border to find a lose spot in the fencing. Upon her journey she witnessed another night wanderer, deciding it may be worth while to keep an eye on her as she might catch her on her anticipated adventure beyond the walls of safety. Safety wasn’t something Cecilia was used to, even before the insane and the war, growing up on the rough side of New York City had that natural imprint for the youth not to trust anyone. Almost without recollection she began following the brunette for quite the distance. There was something about her company - and by company I mean stalking - that made her feel slightly less alone in the small world in a hell that resided now on planet Earth. Lia was more than surprised when the brunette turned, automatically her hand went on her knife out of sheer habit. “I didn’t mean to scare you.” She choked out. Making up things was just one of the many things Cecilia picked up on her life on the outside when she tried to steal things from other survivors. 

[corcrawford-blog]

I didn’t mean to scare you. That statement was less believable when green hues focused on the knife the girl held. A look of disbelief plagued Cora’s face, as she assessed the girl. She’d seen the blonde girl before, throughout Concordia but never thought she was capable of harming someone else. She looked so innocent; young. But perhaps she was wrong. Life now depended on survival, it was either kill or be killed. She’d seen it before her very eyes. Unlike the girl, she was unarmed. Never had the thought of carrying a weapon had passed by her mind, not anymore, not inside Concordia. But perhaps from now on, she should. Not everyone in Concordia was meant to be good and forgiving.

“With that knife, you’ll scare everyone..” she mumbled out, her eyes never leaving the weapon. She had the urge to ask why she was carrying one, but it was just obvious, so she kept her mouth shut. Just waiting for something; anything.

[corcrawford-blog]

The night was silent. Even the tiniest of needles would be heard if it hit the ground. Everyone slept, but Cora was wide awake. The girl wandered through the night, having no true destination. She could be walking in circles, rounding off Concordia for all she knew. But her mind wasn’t exactly there to pay any mind. Sad eyes were trained on her feet, dragging along as she walked. She hated nights like these. Nights where it was completely impossible for her to sleep. She disliked when her mind just wouldn’t shut up, thinking about things that weren’t there anymore. Her mother, her father. How they met terrible fates. It was nights like these that she wished there was an off button to turn all those thoughts away. All she could do was to distract herself, find something to do in the meantime. And that something was walking mindlessly until she got tired enough to crash down and sleep. 

Usually, she tried to avoid people wandering around. Walk where the shadows would blend in with her figure. It was evident that wouldn’t work this time around. Steps could be heard nearby, and that’s when she stopped walking completely; awaiting for the figure to be finally revealed.

[sadfairiesclub]