defender;

cormac o'brien. co-owner & head brewer of o'brien's brewery. libra. xlii. suburbs.

[cormacobrien]

"legacy doesn't keep you warm at night. people do. took me a while to learn the difference."

name: cormac "mac" liam o'brien

age: forty-two

dob: october 17th

gender: cismale

sexuality: heterosexual

hometown: windsor bay

neighborhood: suburbs

occupation: co-owner & head brewer of o'brien's brewery

personality: steadfast, protective, loyal, stubborn, emotionally guarded, work-driven

family: aoife mae o'brien (16), ronan james o'brien (14), molly grace o'brien (7)

born into one of windsor bay's original founding families, cormac was raised with the weight of the o'brien name on his shoulders long before he understood what that meant. the brewery was never just a business, it was inheritance, expectation, and responsibility rolled into one. his parents taught him discipline, work ethic, and pride in craftsmanship, but not always how to rest or ask for help. he left town young to escape the shadow of legacy and prove he was more than the family name, spending years bouncing between breweries along the west coast. when he returned, it was with a wife, a baby, and plans to modernize the business without losing its soul. the brewery flourished, his marriage didn't. now divorced with three kids, mac balances early mornings at the brewhouse with late nights helping with homework, cooking boxed mac and cheese, and trying to be present in ways he once wasn't. slow to open up and stubborn to a fault, he shows love through action more than words. steady hands, quiet heart. the o'brien legacy still matters, but his children matter more.

owns exactly one suit that fits properly and three flannels that everyone in town has seen a thousand times

drives an old, lovingly maintained pickup that smells permanently of cedar, dog, and spilled coffee

has a bad back from years of hauling kegs and pretends it's "just tight muscles"

secretly bakes when he's stressed - soda bread, simple cakes, anything you can eat warm with butter

has a strict "no phones at the dinner table" rule when the kids are over

keeps a notebook of beer recipes that also doubles as a journal, not that he'd ever call it that

has a soft spot for the national memorial library and will wander the stacks while molly's in the children's section, pretending to look for brewing manuals and accidentally leaving with novels

playlist

wanted connections

the one who stayed when everyone else left

someone who was around during the worst years. burnout, marriage falling apart, brewery stress. they didn't fix anything, they just didn't leave.

the almost-family

not blood, not married in, but close enough to blur the lines. someone his kids adore, who feels oddly at home in his kitchen. complicated feelings optional but likely.

the ghost from his years away

a person from his decade outside windsor bay who shows up unexpectedly. they knew a version of him before responsibility hardened him. seeing them makes him question who he became.

the mirror

another single parent in town who's juggling everything the same way he is. they see right through each other.

the quiet temptation

someone who represents peace instead of chaos. no fireworks, just ease, and that somehow scares him more.

the deal he regrets making

a business partner, supplier, or investor tied to a decision he wishes he could undo. the brewery survived, but at a cost.

the one who almost replaced him

someone who stepped up for his kids when he couldn't during long shifts, bad years, or emotional absence. gratitude tangled with jealousy.

[mateoxrodriguez]

"You really are doing a public service to her, plus the longer I stay out... The more she's going to get paid. Although she acts like I wouldn't pay her for the full time even when i come home early. I try to show my appreciation for her but I also thinks she enjoys spending time with Lucia and knows how badly I need to get out and get a life." mateo let out a small laugh.

"Okay, I thought it was just me because I feel like you make some small talk here and there and then the next day it just restarts and nobody is really willing to actually make plans or build a connection. Not trying to just make small talk for weeks upon weeks without any sort of an idea of getting together and gerring to know one another for real." Mateo wanted to find someone and he didn't want just a friend.

"I know, I love that I get to do those things with her because before I know it she will be running off to a friends house and I'll be spending it alone and that's another reason to get out there and meet someone because then I don't havie to worry about it." He agreed with Mac. "That's the feeling that many of us long for it seems, the feeling of belonging."

[cormacobrien]

Cormac leaned on the bar, listening to Mateo. "Sounds like she knows what's up," he said, chuckling softly. "Good for her. Anyone who looks out for your kid and still pushes you to try new things is priceless, even if it costs you a bit more. Think of it as community service, decent pay, and growing as a person. Hitting all the marks."

He winced along with Mateo as they talked about the apps. "Yeah, they don't put that in the ads," he said. "All that beating around the bush, trying to sound cool without actually being real yet." He shook his head. "You're not wrong for wanting more. Wanting someone serious isn't being picky, it just means you know what you want." He looked over at Mateo. "And let me tell you, wanting something real after everything you've dealt with? That's not weak, that's brave."

Lucia growing up got to him. Cormac stared at his drink for a second before speaking. "It just creeps up on you," he said. "One minute they're begging to stay up in matching pajamas, the next they don't need you like that anymore." He gave a small, sad smile. "That's why those traditions are important. They're like anchors. They remind you that you were there, that you made a safe place."

[samairaxmallya]

Samaira hadn't had much of a chance in her life back in New York to feel grounded. She had always felt like she was rushing to get to the next step, the next meeting, the next appointment but here in Windsor Bay she was going to allow herself to just be and part of that was something like this. Where she was listening to him intently, actually absorbing his words and smiling as he spoke about the changes he wanted to bring into this next year of his life. "I honestly love that," she admitted softly, taking a slow sip from her glass before nodding with real encouragement. "I think that's the beauty of life, we're constantly evolving and we don't have to figure out everything right away," she added with a smile. "You're on the right track in my eyes, and I think it's going to help this year be a good one for you," her eyes twinkled with excitement because for this one moment it felt like one of the few real conversations she'd had since being back in town. She didn't feel the need to be 'on' and appreciated that. "I didn't thank you earlier but you walking around like this with me, it really took some of the pressure off."

[cormacobrien]

Cormac let her words sink in; they were the kind that just felt right, no need to change a thing. He gave a slow nod, like he was really getting it. "That means more than you know," he said softly. "Coming from someone who's seen people at their rawest… I'll take that as a good sign." He took another drink, then added, "I sometimes forget it's fine to not always be chasing the next big thing, that staying put isn't the same as falling behind."

He looked around at the music, the laughter, the gentle buzz of the night ending, then back at her. "Walking with you helped me remember that. It quieted things down a bit." There was a comfortable silence, well deserved. "So… thank you too," he said. "For just being here, for the peace and quiet. For not expecting me to be anyone but who I am tonight." His smile stayed a moment longer. "Feels like a pretty great way to kick off a new year."

[cassandrareid]

A wave of relief washed over her after hearing Cormac confirm that he understood where she was coming from. To hear that it worked made her genuinely smile as she gave a nod of affirmation, knowing that was the intention that she was going for. Now at his chosen word, Cassandra had to hand it to him as it was a really good one. “Given that you are aware of all that, I have no doubts that the steadiness will come to you. Just saying and thinking about it is the first step.” 

Feeling her cheeks slightly flush, she chuckled softly and shrugged, “Thank you, I’ll keep that in mind.” Normally she’d deflect, but given what they had talked about she felt comfortable trying to be better for herself. With that, she locked eyes on him with a hopeful smile and nodded, “Happy New Year, Cormac.”

Noise erupted all around the room from cheers, to greetings and chatter, from the bass of the music and the DJ's announcements. It was a start of a new year and for once, Cass felt lighter than ever. "Well I guess, that's that." she announced as she clapped her hands together.

[cormacobrien]

Cormac watched her for a bit as the room got loud again. It was like he wanted to remember how the night was before all the noise took over. He gave a firm nod when she talked. "Yup," he said, the word meaning more than it seemed. "That's that." He let out a gentle breath, the kind you do when you can finally relax. "I'm really glad we bumped into each other tonight," he added. "Take care, Cassandra."

THE END.

[cormacobrien]

who: @colexreyes where: o'brien's brewery

The brewery was extra quiet, like only early mornings can be. Some lights were on, and you could still smell hops from the day before. Cormac was behind the bar, coffee mug in hand, sleeves rolled up. He was working on autopilot, not really thinking. He wasn't expecting anyone this early, especially not someone in firefighting gear that still smelled a bit like smoke.

He looked up when the door shut, glanced at Cole for a second, then gave a single nod. No big deal, just a simple acknowledgemnt. "Figured you'd be up," Mac said, a bit dry but not mean. "You firefighters live on a different schedule, I swear." He pushed the coffee pot closer to the bar without asking, grabbing another mug. "Help yourself, it's strong. Not tasty, but strong." Then, a bit quieter, "We don't officially open for another hour, but I'm not going to kick out someone who's already put in a full day before most people are even awake."

[cassandrareid]

It’s been a while since Cassandra felt understood, in fact she really wasn’t sure how to react when Cormac admitted that he was in the same boat as her. “When you put it that way, then that’s exactly how I feel.” They were existing and present, nothing more, nothing less and to Cass, she was actually okay with that. There was no sense of urgency, guilt or doubt, no inner critic telling her any next steps—she was simply living in her own shell of a body and being aware of that wasn’t as scary as it would normally be. 

Cormac’s honest opinion about her made Cassandra smile as she nodded to give her thanks, “Appreciate it and just to add, in no way was I trying to pull any therapy or psychological moves on you. I simply approached it as humane as I could be and to receive honesty, that’s all I practically ever wanted.” It was sometimes hard having to convey herself to others because of her job, but it was a nice opportunity to be seen as simply Cassandra Reid—not the mother, not the doctor, nor the widow.

“One last thing before the night ends, just some food for thought and also out of my own curiosity, with the new year approaching—what’s the one word that you will take with you to start it off?” Was it a profound question? Perhaps, but she said it in a way where it could be anything and everything. “I could go first…I was torn with a couple of words, but ultimately settled with ‘authenticity’. I was hoping that this year I could at least feel alive in a way where I can simply be my authentic self and be more open to it. No masking or avoidance—it’s definitely going to be a challenge, but it’s a work in progress.”

[cormacobrien]

Cormac quieted down again. He let her words sink in, not wanting to rush his answer or make them less important. The room's chatter seemed far away, like it was happening on a different night. "I know you weren't," he said softly, when she brought up therapy. "And I think that's why it worked." A small smile touched his lips. "You were just yourself, not some therapist. That's more important than most people realize."

Her question still hung in the air. He looked into his glass for a bit. "Steady," he said eventually. He met her gaze, looking calm and sure in a quiet way. He shrugged a little. "I want to stop waiting for the next bad thing and stay grounded. I want to be someone my kids can count on without me falling apart." He raised his glass a bit toward her, not really a toast, more like an acknowledgment. "Being real suits you," he added. "I think you're more real than you give yourself credit for."

The music started up again in the distance, voices getting louder, pushing them forward again. Cormac let out a slow breath and smiled. "Happy New Year, Cassandra."

[retrodrive]

[samuelfalk]

      as  soon  as  he'd  walked  into  the  brewery  his  pale  blues  panned  around  the  establishment  while  his  hands  traveled  into  his  pockets.  the  clanking  behind  the  bar  and  a  spot  of  mussed  blond  hair  drew  samuel  in  that  direction  and  a  smirk  tucked  into  his  expression  as  he  approached.  "don't  worry,  i  still  think  you  look  pretty."  a  glance  at  the  sink  behind  the  frustrated  owner  told  him  the  story  and  the  emergency  doctor  nodded  in  acknowledgement.  "want  me  to  snap  a  photo  real  quick?  it'll  be  good  for  your  dating  profile."  the  joking  continued.  "women  love  a  handy  man."  to  the  mention  of  how  early  it  was  and  the  fact  that  the  place  was  barren  of  patrons  did  little  to  move  a  weathered  man  like  sam.  "pretty  sure  it's  past  five  beyond  the  atlantic."  hands  moved  to  rest  atop  the  bar.  "i'm  half  swedish  we  get  bottle  fed  this  stuff."  humor  for  him  like  most  was  his  biggest  deflection.  "want  some  help  with  that?"  the  nod  of  his  head  indicated  the  sink  that  was  winning  the  fight.

[cormacobrien]

Cormac laughed, shaking his head as he tossed the rag on the counter. "Pretty, huh?" he repeated. He snorted at the dating profile comment, rolling his eyes. "Nothing says romance like a guy losing a fight to a faucet before noon." Still, a lighter feeling flickered—easy banter he didn't have to overthink. He liked that more than he'd ever admit.

He followed Samuel's gaze to the sink, then back to him, thinking it over for a second. His ego versus getting things done. The faucet dripped slowly, like it was making fun of him. "Honestly?" Mac said, pushing off the bar and stepping away. "If you can fix it without flooding the place, I'll buy you a beer or two." He leaned back against the counter, arms crossed loosely. "But don't get used to it, I gotta keep up my image as the guy who acts like he's got it all together."

[cassandrareid]

In other words, Cassandra said it like it is and for once it felt freeing being honest without having to hold herself to a standard. “Same…” she murmured as she took a look at the crowd as it kept growing in numbers. She then looked over at Cormac and chuckled as she could agree with him on that point. This was as real as it could get and she wouldn’t ask for it any other way. “You’re right…” she said at first. “Existing is more than enough.” For once Cassandra felt more at peace, which was a rare feeling and almost like she didn’t deserve it. However, as she sat there in silence, her shoulders dropped a tad bit before relaxing in itself as she could feel herself being present in the moment. For once, despite the many distractions around them, her mind felt quiet—something that rarely happens as she was used to it in a way where it was always racing, especially against time. “Would it be corny to say this is probably one of the best new years eve I’ve ever had? You're actually great company, whether you believe it or not. I definitely needed to hear all this.”  Pausing, she then added, "And I hope somehow your night—your year—ends on a positive note. No matter how big or small the impact is, it's still something."

[cormacobrien]

When she said that, Cormac felt a knot in his chest loosen. It wasn't exactly relief, more like someone gave him permission. Like he didn't need to try and be quiet, or explain why this felt better than loud parties. He looked at her for a moment, then let out a soft breath. "If it's cheesy," he said softly, "then count me in." He smiled. "This might be one of my better nights too." He rubbed the edge of his glass with his thumb, trying to keep himself grounded. "And I don't think it's just because of the night, I think it's because I'm not trying to be somewhere else."

Her idea that just being was enough stuck with him. He nodded slowly. He'd spent so much time thinking his value came from what he did for others – being a dad, an owner, a problem solver – that just existing felt too much, almost wrong. But standing there with her, it felt okay. "You're good to be around too," he said softly, not trying to change the subject or make a joke. "You make it easy to deal with things instead of running away." He paused, then added, more honestly than usual, "I didn't realize how much I needed that tonight."

[samairaxmallya]

Samaira was quiet for a moment, letting his words settle somewhere deep inside of her instead of rushing to answer them. When she finally spoke, her voice was calm almost a bit thoughtful. "That’s the thing, isn’t it?" she asked quietly, "fear seems to wear a lot of different disguises, sometimes loyalty, duty, and even love." She gave a small shrug then before looking back at him. "I didn’t realize how heavy it all was either. I just thought that’s what life felt like, constantly bracing yourself for the next argument, the next fight." Her eyes lifted to his again, wondering what he was thinking that moment. “Letting it all go wasn’t graceful. It was messy. But the relief...that part was real." Normally Samaira wouldn't be this honest but something about Cormac possibly going through the same made it easier.

The vulnerability he briefly showed didn’t go unnoticed, just not mentioned because she didn't know if he'd want her to. Instead she nodded at his statement, "I’m trying to be honest, and some days it's easier but other days...I wish I could hide away," she told him before looking around the rest of the crowd at the event. "But I do want to be here. Not because I owe the past anything, but rather I’m choosing what comes next. And I think...that feels like something worth it, right?"

Samaira glanced toward the window, where the distant sounds of celebration hummed faintly, then back to him. "But also--since it’s New Year’s Eve," she said quietly, almost thoughtfully, "can I ask you something?" Her fingers traced the rim of her glass before she met his eyes again. "What would starting fresh look like for you for this year? Not a resolution--I don't want one of those answers, but just your truth?"

[cormacobrien]

Cormac stared into his glass for a second, watching the light, buying time. He breathed out slowly, then looked back at her. "Starting fresh for me…" he repeated, more to himself. A small smile played on his lips, but it didn't quite stay. "I think it'd be a lot calmer than people expect." He gave a little laugh. "Less fixing things, less trying to prove I have everything sorted." He moved, his shoulders rolling as if letting go of old stress. "I’ve spent a long time being the one who keeps things going. For my kids, the brewery, everyone else. And I don’t regret that," he said fast, honestly. "But I think starting fresh means letting myself be not perfect sometimes. Saying no when I'm tired, letting others help me without feeling like I owe them back." His eyes softened, looking inward for a moment. "It also means admitting I don't really know what I want yet," he said, and that idea was both worrying and a relief. He met her eyes again. "That might not sound huge or brave," he added, a bit unsure. "But for me? That feels like a real beginning." His lips curved into a small, real smile.

[cassandrareid]

“Yeah…” was all Cassandra could say as she took in what Cormac had relayed to her. Hope was the easiest choice, but not the most convenient as it could backfire instantaneously, especially when you’re holding out on it. “It’s not the type of thing you admit out loud, you know.” she mused with a dry laugh before falling silent. She only felt comfortable talking about this because it was Cormac out of all people, he understood it best and for once, Cass wanted a real conversation rather one that was covered up with white lies to make others not worry about her. At least with him, it was a judgement free zone and the reminders here and there were warranted and what she needed. 

Slowly meeting his gaze, she smiled, one that was genuine this time as she nodded in understanding, “Thank you,” she sincerely said at first. “Well, here’s to not being always okay. Besides, I’ve come to accept that…Maybe at the end of it all, no one has it figured out. We’re just trying and that’s all that matters.” Shrugging, she then shook her head and said, “I didn’t mean to kill the mood, but you should go and have fun with whoever rather than stick around with me, especially with the last few hours of the year that’s left.”

[cormacobrien]

Cormac shook his head right away, like the idea wasn't even worth thinking about. He stayed there with her in their little bubble of quiet. "You didn't kill the mood," he said softly, a bit more sure of himself this time. "You just put a name to it." He let out a breath through his nose, almost a laugh, but heavier. "I'm not exactly dying to go pretend I'm having the best time out there." He glanced at the crowd, then back at her. "This," he vaguely waved between them, "this feels more real than champagne and fake smiles." He had a quiet thought he didn't say: he didn't feel like putting on a show tonight. Standing here with her, talking like this, felt like a break, not something he had to do. He met her eyes again, softer now. "If the last hours of the year are about anything, I think they're about finding a place that doesn't feel like work." He paused. "And right now, this doesn't."

[cormacobrien]

who: @samuelfalk where: o'brien's brewery

Cormac was battling a leaky faucet when the door chimes went off. He didn't look up right off, just grumbled something and gave the wrench a final turn. When he finally did look, he recognized the guy. "Figures," Mac said, wiping his hands on a rag. "The universe really knows how to pick its moments, or you just caught me looking my worst." He nodded at the sink behind him. "This thing's been giving me grief all morning." He leaned against the bar, checking Samuel out for a second, then waved a hand around the room. The brewery was pretty quiet, sun shining through the windows, no crowd yet, the calm before things got crazy. "You're here early enough to pretend this place is peaceful."

[mateoxrodriguez]

"This is true, exactly. I have a smart ass babysitter which is good for Lucia, but I mean not the best for me." Mateo replied to Mac as he looked at the other man. "I will tell her that you stopped me from leaving and she will be looking to thank you so don't be surprised if I try to get in contact with you so that she can thank you herself." Mateo replied to Cormac as he smiled and shrugged his shoulders a bit.

"I know, but I do feel like if I don't start to put myself out there then it's never going to happen. I mean Lucia is now five years old and I feel like it's time to try moving on and actually going out on dates. Do I have to download Tinder and Bumble though? That's kind of crazy because I'm not used to those things. I met my late wife when we were out and about at the same time one day and we just started talking. I feel like that doesn't happen nowaways, it's all through the phone." He chuckled. "We just have a tradition of counting down to the ball dropping and we eat all these snacks and have matching pajamas. How about you? What do you miss most about being with your kiddos?"

[cormacobrien]

Cormac chuckled softly. "Clever babysitters are risky," he said. "They see right through you. Don't be surprised if she's already caught on to your escape plan." He shook his head, looking amused. "If she comes to thank me, I'll deal with it. It feels like I'm doing a public service at this point."

When Mateo brought up dating, Cormac nodded along. "You're right," he agreed. "Waiting until you feel completely ready usually means it never happens." He snorted softly when dating apps were mentioned. "Ugh, Tinder, Bumble, I tried one once. I lasted maybe three days before I remembered I hate making small talk with strangers I can't figure out yet." He glanced at Mateo. "Doesn't mean it can't work, just means it's weird at first."

Hearing about the traditions, snacks, pajamas, the countdown, Cormac's face softened. "That sounds lovely," he admitted. "Those are the things that stick with you." He took a moment before answering the question. "I miss the noise," he said. "The mess. Someone always losing a sock, someone else asking a ton of questions, the youngest refusing to go to bed even though they always crash." A small smile touched his lips. "We do a countdown too. Half the time we're just yelling numbers because someone missed it on TV." He shrugged. "I miss knowing exactly where I belong."

[cassandrareid]

Listening attentively to Cormac’s response, Cassandra remained silent as she wanted him to convey his own truth without interjecting. “I resonate with that, it becomes a choice of convenience at times…I’m not the type that’s always willing to want to explain myself.” His questions towards her had Cass reflecting for once as she couldn’t think of an answer right off the top of her head. There was no gut feeling or trust, it was more so caution as she wasn’t sure if she’ll ever pull through since there are times where she couldn’t. “A bit of both…I think…” Her voice trailed off as her expression shifted into a tired one, “I try to be honest, to lead by example, but I also realized I’m masking a little too hard when I know I shouldn’t. It’s another reason why I chose to make this move. I felt more supported here and I thought, maybe this would help ease my soul a bit…” She shrugged and emitted a dry laugh, “So far I haven’t felt a difference, but only time will tell and with the new year, at least it gives me an excuse to anticipate rather than carrying it out.” Cassandra wasn’t proud of her answer, especially when she’s using her reasoning as crutches to tackle the bigger issue at hand, but it was her honest take. 

[cormacobrien]

Cormac listened without saying anything, like he was scared if he spoke too soon, he'd mess something up. He nodded once, slowly, and put his glass down for a second as if he needed both hands to keep himself steady. Thinking about it instead of doing it… that hit a bit too close to home. He took a steadying breath. "Sometimes hope feels safer when it's just an idea, like if you don't fully go for it, it can't let you down." He looked at her. "You're not wrong for hiding things," he added, firm but kind. "You do it because you've had to. Because others relied on you, or thought you had it all together, or because falling apart didn't seem like an option." His jaw tightened a little. "But that doesn't mean it stops being tough."

He let out a soft sigh, almost a chuckle. "I don't think moving somewhere suddenly cures everything, I wish it did. Would've saved me a lot of years." Then, more quietly, "But sometimes it gives you space. Different surroundings, fewer demands. That matters." His eyes met hers again, steady and honest. "You don't have to figure everything out tonight," he said. "Or even this year. Being honest doesn't mean you have to be completely open all the time, sometimes it just means admitting you're tired and not pretending you're not."

[cassandrareid]

“Illusion is one way of putting it.” replied Cassandra with a faint smile. “However, many cling onto it to the point where it becomes hope.” Both adults had a realistic mindset, especially since life had already made them this way, but seeing everyone enjoying themselves, some in each other’s arms, some drinking and dancing away, while it was temporary, she did sort of envy them for having the opportunity to feel that way. 

Tightening her grip around her cup, she cleared her throat and met Cormac’s gaze after hearing what he had said. “Honest.” she repeated as she processed the thought. “Is that a resolution you’re thinking of pursuing consistently in the New Year?” 

[cormacobrien]

Cormac got quiet then. He thought about the word honest, like he was checking how heavy it felt. It sounded easy, but it never was. He glanced at the room again for a second, at all the sparkly things, champagne glasses, and people holding onto each other like they were drowning. He gripped his glass a little tighter before he spoke. "Maybe," he said slowly. "I think I've been… honest when it suited me for a while." He let out a little, knowing laugh. "With everyone else, with myself. You tell people you're fine to keep things going, to stop them from worrying, to keep the show on the road." He looked back at Cassandra, his gaze steady and open, which he didn't do often. "Being honest feels riskier," he said. "It means saying 'this is real' instead of where I'm supposed to be. And sometimes where I'm at isn't that great." He paused. "Or fun." A small, real smile formed on his face. "What about you?" he asked. "Do you want to be more honest this year or are you already doing it, and just tired of doing it by yourself?"

[samairaxmallya]

His relationship status was said in a way that signified a little more to the story but Sam didn’t pry. They weren’t friends, not really…so she didn’t want to be too intrusive. Cormac was being gracious enough to spend this time with her and giving her an out from socializing so she needed to be just as gracious back to him. “That makes sense, sometimes…no matter how much effort you put in, things aren’t meant to last. So long as your kids are happy…that’s the important part,” she told him with a smile, listening with intent as he spoke about their ages and how they were the best thing to happen to him. She could understand that, having helped so many kids come into the world, she understood that feeling all too well even if she’d never experienced it for herself, and probably never would. 

His words about building a life and still not feeling at home hit something deep inside her, enough to have her turn to look at him, wondering how it was that he’d said something that resonated with her so perfectly. “Yeah honestly…that’s the best way to describe it,” she admitted before nodding at his deduction of why she’d come back to Windsor Bay. But it was that next question that had her taking a few seconds to really think it over. Was it a new beginning or picking up something she’d left behind? “A little bit of both? I think I’m more set on making it a new beginning though. Holding onto things…only leads to hurt despite our best intentions, you know?” 

[cormacobrien]

Cormac just nodded, taking in what she said instead of jumping in. He liked that about her – she didn’t try to fit things into perfect answers. A bit of both felt more real than anything else she could've said. He stared off for a second, not really seeing the room, just looking past it. "Holding onto stuff often pretends to be loyalty, but it's really just being scared." He'd learned that the hard way. "Sometimes you don't even know you're carrying a heavy load until you finally drop it and your shoulders feel better." He looked back at her, a thoughtful look on his face. "Choosing to start fresh," he said, softer now, "that takes more guts than people realize. It's easier to say you're just getting back on track – less risk that way." He paused. "Starting over means you have to admit the old you isn't in charge anymore." There was a quick, vulnerable moment before he hid it with a small, relaxed smile. "Sounds like you're being really honest with yourself," he added. "That's a big deal, especially after everything you've already been through. Windsor Bay could use someone who actually wants to be here, not just because of the past."

[mateoxrodriguez]

"It certainly was an attempt at an Irish goodbye and it's not going to happen clearly so you certainly won this one." Mateo replied as he looked at the other male and then nodded. "Yeah she threatened to quit if I decided to come home early so I mean I can't turn that away. She's an amazing babysitter and Lucia really likes her so I'm going to have to just keep myself occupied until at least after midnight." Mateo said. "I'm sure that it'll be fun but I just need to get in the mood, maybe you stopping me was going to make that happen." Mateo chuckled as he looked at Cormac.

"Exactly, that's the reason I decided to come out in the first place. I need to make sure that I'm going out and having a life. I guess it's just hard because it might bring up the opportunity for me to meet someone and that's hard for me to even begin to think about, ya know?" He said to him before shrigging. "Yes that's true, but I definitely think that we can certainly make it to midnight."

[cormacobrien]

Cormac slowly nodded as Mateo spoke, listening intently. That's the thing nobody tells you—that stepping out means letting new things in. He took another sip of his drink, letting the cold drink calm him before he replied. "Sounds like you've got a smart babysitter," he said with a small grin. "Anyone Lucia likes automatically trumps our comfort, those are the rules of parenting." He looked at the crowd, then back at Mateo. "If me stopping you helps even a little, I'll take it."

When Mateo brought up the chance of meeting someone, Cormac felt that familiar tightness in his chest. "I know, it catches you off guard. You go out thinking you're just showing you still exist beyond home… and suddenly there's this pressure to be open to things you're not sure you're ready for." He shrugged one shoulder. "You don't have to figure that out tonight. Midnight is just a clock ticking over." He shifted his weight, getting comfortable. "We've got time to spare. Tell me, what do you miss most about being home with Lucia tonight?"