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Deep depression

I dont know if anyone has lost this close of a friend before, his status in my life layed so close to my heart its unbearable to think hes gone for ever. Its been three months and still the thought of joshua being gone out of my life hurts as much as the the day he got married to his wife and i knew hed be far away from my life. My heart is so broken. It gives me a head ache. I loved you so much josh, more then the women you married. I keep to everything you gpt me into jus soi can live on your memory and your hope in my life succeeding. Theres no day i go without thinking of you, youre stupid life speeches, stupid compliments, your lies, knowing i wasnt the only girl you cared about through all those years. I love you josh, thank you for always being there for me, believing in my when no one would, staying with me till the end. Now is the time i cry for my fallen love.... The only man who processed my heart. Kelpt it warm, knew everything there is to my soul, and what completed it. Thank you joshua peterson

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Day by day

I keep thinking about josh. Thats all on my mind, its slowly eating away at my heart knowing i can never see him again. I now have the urge to bust out into tears whenever i see or hear something that reminds me of him, such as tv on the radio wolf like me, kills me. I really wish i could have see him a last time before he passed.

#Death #love #friendship #passed away

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Today has been rough

Found out (via email) my old best friend passed on. Ive known for a couple of days, Im really sad, but have no urge to cry. I always thought hed live FOREVER ( or at least longer then me). I lost contact with him after he got married, I lost contact with everyone on that thought. Really hurts though because hes going to be buried tomorrow and I wont be able to be there for him. I always wished he came back home to cali to see me more often, but he had his own life with a loving women back in NY. Im just waiting for it to sink in more. Kind of explains why ive had the urge to drive to places him and I would go to all the time. I love him, even as much as I did when we were young. He go me through middle and high school, taught me a lot about people and true friends. Got me into skateboarding and photography. I know in his heart and soul he knew what he did for my life and what I did for his. Everything happens for a reason. I just miss him more then ever now. Goodbye Joshua Peterson. You were the greatest friend any girl can ask for...

#love #friendship #death #moarning