I've found a cure, and it's you <3
Pair: Damari x ayin (my original characters)
!! contains topic of sa and other stuff, but nothing really bad actually happens !! also it's a oneshot, sort of??
Ayin really, really loves Damari. In fact, they first met her at Damari’s local health centre, where she has work experience as a Doctor to complete her internship. That was during the time it was their spawn point, until it was changed. They appreciate her hospitality and her efforts on trying to help other people but she just seems melancholic towards herself now. What could have possibly made her like this? The good thing though, is that she’s taking a day off from her tiring work.
Ayin just loves their best friend. Or is she more than that..?
It was 10PM on a Sunday, no hints of sunlight and cold, ayin was casually minding their own business; sitting alone inside their second spawn point, which was empty. A very cold room—with lack of furniture to fill the room except themselves and their possessions—but their social isolation has been briefly interrupted, feeling their device vibrating.
“Ugh…” ayin scoffed of annoyance, they decided to check their flip phone
“One unread message” It said on the screen.
At first glance, they thought it was a lame spam notification from a random nightlife industry—however—it kept on persisting until it eventually provoked them. They decided to open their notifications and had 2 unread messages from Damari.
“Ik it’s random but can you come cover? It’s fine if you can’t :)”
To their surprise, she was actually free to hang out with. Ayin was originally going to sleep in a rotten room, or probably go to another motel but they chose to come to Damari’s house instead.
Ayin felt satisfied, flashed a tiny smile as they typed, “yeah sure 0//_//0” they replied.
Even when she has her day offs, she usually has another person coming over to her house to have one night dates then just leaves. They always feel a lot of pity for her but they just didn’t wanna question what goes on, because it’s just Damari being herself.
Either way, ayin assumed it must have been important—after sitting down for a long time and having slight sensory issues; they stood up and packed their stuff in case they might forget.
Surprisingly, that random room happened to be close to her house, what a relief—it was just two streets away and they recognised it. As they arrive, ayin knocks on her front door waiting for a response.
Ayin waited for a response—while crossing their arms—leaning onto the front door. That took five milliseconds for her to respond
“Ohh don’t worry, it’s already open!”
As ayin enters the house; Damari embraces her with a warm, soft hug. She then mumbled through her breath, yet it was still intelligible “But yeah.. I wanted to talk to you about something.”
At first ayin didn’t think of it as much, she probably wanted to have small talk then leave. Yet there was this lingering thought of fondness and longing for affection, they needed it. “Can we really be more than best friends?”, they thought to herself
The more her brain kept on saying this same question, over and over again. She tried to suppress them by saying to herself that Damari would never date someone as quiet and introverted as they are.
Meanwhile Mari decided to make some tea for the both of them; ayin was overcrowded by their overthinking. It almost felt powerless. They were already wanting to drink something but just didn’t know what they wanted. That was until her thoughts were interrupted by Mari’s concern.
“Are you alright?..” She kindly asked in a soft tone.
For a brief second, ayin got startled and was stuck in her own world but she then responded. They normally do this a lot during an awkward hang out.
“That’s okay… I’ll get back to y—“
Despite their sudden timid nature, they managed to form a sentence.
“Yes! I’m fine, don’t worry about me.. hehe..”, they answered while becoming slightly red.
“Haha, you got me worried for a second!!” She awkwardly giggled “Thought I lost you”
Damari gave her some tea, at the moment they were about to sit down on the couch; then were met with a loud yet strong gust of wind that sounded creepy.
“Anyway, just get yourself comfy. I can’t imagine you staying at that cold room anymore”
They both became silent not long after they got their tea, simultaneously both focused on whatever they’re doing—so far it seemed indifferent except the off behaviour they both had earlier. Nonetheless, they were just playing video games, eating, talking and even laying on the same bed together despite having a spare room. … Both Damari and ayin were oblivious about their feelings for each other. Seemingly so, that their awkwardness was more than just a weird feeling—the silence didn’t help either because both of them wanted to say something except their body physically doesn’t allow them to.
After all the struggles they have with their past relationships, they both doubted and didn’t believe in themselves at all. Damari just wanted proper love; ayin on the other hand thought they wouldn’t be a great match for her.
It didn’t help that they accidentally arrived at Earth, and originally didn’t want to stay there for long. But because of Mari, they still stayed.
This didn’t last since the first time laying on the same bed, together. It felt different. More intimate, sentimental, more personal and almost comforting? They were hardly getting words out of their mouth, maybe some small and dull talk—but the tension despite being next to each other only rises, the more silent it gets
Perhaps, because it was quiet and only them. It felt so surreal for both sides to just sleep together in the same bed. They could only hear their thoughts.
The more they looked at Damari, they felt so drawn towards her. It was like a Goddess overshadowing everybody with her divinity. Not only her physically redeeming features like her face and figure, but her real personality took number one.
They observed her even more, “I don’t even deserve to breathe the same air as her..”
Ayin knew not talking didn’t do much, so as unsatisfying as it is, they moved closer to her.
Before they were able to think, they impulsively stroked her chin gently and gazed at her eyes.
“….Wow.. you look. Gorgeous..”
Soon after they said that, Damari got flustered but mostly bewildered—not believing that someone actually sees the beauty in her. The question she always wanted to ask them “is my body is the only thing worthy about me?” stayed and only grew overtime.
“Oh, sorry. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable or anything..”
“It’s fine. It’s more of a problem I have”
She slightly scorched away to preserve her thoughts.
She never expected someone would take her seriously, after years of being narrowed-down as just her appearance. It was rare that somebody like ayin would want to spend time with her for the rest of her life. … Time has passed yet Damari’s melatonin hasn’t kicked in for her. Since 9pm, she was still widely awake. Perhaps, it might be something else she’s worrying about. Looking at the Asteronitan peacefully sleeping—she looks at herself—and sighed, thinking about her previous relationships and how much she indulged herself into hookup culture.
Apart from her disdain towards herself, the sound of rain drops accompanied by her current mood. Representing her abstinence on true love. She’s always so nice and helpful towards others, but she can’t help herself; that has always been a problem since her high school years.
Damari gets up from her bed after extensively fidgeting, then looks at herself in the mirror. Immediately her mind focuses on her appearance, “I mean, no one can take me seriously looking like this right?”
“Then.. I wonder why I struggle maintaining a proper relationship—.”
Even after being an academically intelligent girl and studying to become a doctor, it didn’t quite stop her from doing all this stuff; nor did it automatically erase her messed up habits. Not even she knows why she still continues.
“Am I really gorgeous?”
She asks herself, attached to her reflection; standing up within dim lights. Suddenly, something strikes inside her—a feeling that cannot be explained with words—a feeling of two souls intertwining, which felt too good to be true.
Yet. There was always something that was engraved for a long period of time.
Such a simple sentence, but little did she know, it would forever alter her brain chemistry no matter how much she tries to hide it.
“Does she actually think I am gorgeous? Am I?”
“There’s no way right!? I mean it’s too good to be true, fuck, I don’t know why I feel like this but we’re clearly just friends aren’t we?”
“Why do I care so much about how they feel about me?”
After all those thoughts took over, she ran back to her bed and decided to curl herself up into a ball—so that nobody could see her. She tried to block out everything she’s thinking, her clothes felt too tight, sweating, panting, flustered and the sudden urge to go to the bathroom was enough for her to become overstimulated.
Instead, it did the exact opposite of what she intended to do.
Damari started to tear up and became extremely embarrassed of herself. Especially when she is sleeping with her best friend, and the fact she was the one asking them to come over.
“It…. fucking hurts.”
She felt her heartbeat rapidly rising—it almost felt like something was pressing against her. Her chest was strained as she gripped onto it with her dear life. Damari was afraid she was going to lose her self-control; along with the feeling of a state where she just wanted to explode out of thin air.
She continues to pant out of fear,
“I don’t know one thing that… that makes people want to..” “….care for me”
Just as she thought she felt alone, she physically felt a hand reaching for hers. It was soft, warm and pale—it seemed like ayin must have been startled by her. Before they could speak, they lent a shoulder and calmly consoled her.
“You don’t look like you sorted things out yet.”, they commented on her erratic behavior while maintaining that stoic-looking face. While they pat her back; that awkward silence temporarily stayed until Damari finally was able to form a coherent sentence.
“I’m sorry..”, she answered
Damari took a deep breath and muttered as if she was shameful towards herself, “I just didn’t wanna bother you cuz… I know you have your own shit going on—so, it’s.. not like, you’d want to listen to me endlessly r-“
“Hey.. I’m always here for you.”, they assured me,“Plus I was actually surprised you’d want me to come over.”
“Because usually you’re always with other people.. and the grubby introvert I am, I often find it difficult when I try to talk to you while your other friends are here.”
Damari grinned and replied flirtatiously, “Oh shut up, you know you’re good in your own way~”
“Yeah? Well that should apply to you then..”
They commence a proper conversation after spending half of the night being awkwardly silent, along with the obvious tension.
But. Just as they thought they were about to go back to sleep, ayin had something to tell her.
“…anyways, just listen alright?”, they uttered “I have something to tell you.”
Mari looked straight in their eyes and moved slightly closer, enough for them to start cuddling. “Sure.. I actually have something to say too, but you can say it first..”
As they were about to start speaking, they sighed and seemed insecure.
They first asked her, “Remember, that one girl you used to date” and Damari replied displeasingly “…mm, Yeah.”
“Yeah.. her... when I found out you were dating someone, I just felt so hopeless. And. That I can’t really shoot my shot, because of how beautiful you are. Even if you weren’t dating her, I also felt like I was incompatible compared to you.. so.. that’s why I woke up, startled and worried that you might’ve tried to do something harmful.”
“Plus.. you’re just, I can’t really explain it. You, since I first met you.. you immediately helped me while I passed out inside the clinic because I was so exhausted from running away to find an entrance away from the Antnoic.”
“And the fact that you’re also the first Antonin to be a doctor outside of the Dimension, it lit me up.”
Right after they poured half of their heart out, they paused for a little bit to take a deep breath whilst Damari still listened; with a bittersweet look on her face.
“So as I was saying, I assumed you and Rani seemed like the number one couple… because she acted genuine at first. But then, when I found out all the things she’s done, the first thing I thought about was treating you better than she did.”
“Of course, I thought I had a chance, I really did. Except as soon as I think about it I remember being absolutely indulged into my own personal space, instead of thinking about my previous partners.”
“I also thought you were living the life, I’ll admit I was pretty jealous as well.”
“You just seemed so happy and you got along with everyone, while most of the time I’m a computer loser who prefers to be alone—looking at laptops or any devices.”
“But just now. I realised that you're just an average person like me or pretty much anyone.”
As they finished their whole ramble, Damari was completely speechless. She also realises that they both aren’t so different, despite the differing personalities. She also had a form of jealousy towards them, and she desperately wanted to say something but even after all of that, she just can’t pour her emotions out healthily.
“You were.. jealous of me?”, she asked worryingly
“I’m sorry. You didn’t have to be jealous of a destructive person.. half of the time, I genuinely don’t enjoy it because of the feeling it gives me. I hate the feeling that I have to drink so that people can like me more, and the hangovers that go along with it.”
“Wait no, you don’t have t-“
“I really do. I made you think that everything I’ve done was the norm, I was the one who wanted to be like you.”
She assured her, “You see, you might consider yourself an introverted loser but all I see is just some girl minding her own business.” with a slightly blissful expression.
Her face looked extremely restless and emotionally drained, which made it clearly obvious she was exhausted from other problems she chose to neglect.
“I was so envious because you always had the time to just think alone and be alone, without feeling the need to drink.”
“What?” “I’ve been drinking since I was 15. I’ve always felt unsatisfied about myself so…”
Damari felt tense even after she finished talking about her addictions. It was almost like your skin getting cut into a fresh wound, meanwhile ayin, who was completely unaware of her problems—was appalled but impressed at the same time.
“I wish I was a good person like you.”, they sighed
“Hehe.. you’re so adorable”
Realising what she just called them, her face becomes more red than her facial patterns. Damari’s eyes dilated and her room felt much warmer than any other place—two of them became sweaty due to their timidness.
That was finally the opportunity.
Ayin looked at her face, she still looked like she hadn't washed it since her panic attack; her eyes were swollen, eye bags were too deep into her and salty tears had already dried up. As they move closer and closer to her—to the point they look like they’re sitting on top of each other.
They looked straight into her eyes and asked her, “Do you like anyone?” with a stern look.
To her surprise, she shut down temporarily and Mari’s mood swings got in the way. Not even a minute; she looked away from ayin’s face with a sad look on her face.
“Well, what do you think?” she asked them another question “You think best friends would be a little too close to eachother..?”
“Yeah.”, mumbled under her breath.
Without any hesitation inside her bone, she finally kissed her on the lips. It was an unexpected surprise for ayin’s part, so many mixed emotions they felt yet it felt so right and they couldn’t care anymore. Damari continued to kiss her passionately and was completely driven by her deprivation.
While they were too shocked, they closed their eyes and decided to embrace it—holding her waist as they persisted—their love was clearly unmatched and unlike any other relationship.
It was almost like they were making out and it felt like her lips were so warm, soft but slightly open for ayin to slip their tongue inside. Both of their bodies were all against each other; they were able to taste one another and felt their heartbeats going up.
They were so hooked, they seemingly forgot about the conversation they were talking about; ayin was tickled by Damari’s salty breath beneath their nose. The smell of her perfume made it more pleasant and stayed with them.
But, not for long, ayin was not able to breathe properly so she quickly pushed her off and hyperventilated for a good 10 seconds.
Damari immediately regretted it, “I’m so sorry. God.. I don’t know what’s gotten into me” she says, feeling astonished by her own actions.
“It’s fine. That was so fucking hot.”
“Heh.. What a weird way to ask me out on a date, but I’m not complaining.”
“Oh shit—I might’ve ruined it.”, she stopped and moved back again.
“But I can’t fucking help it! I just.. really want to have, you know? An emotional bond with someone.”
Ayin sighed as they were not going to deal with this emotional roller coaster. They scorched closer once again, only this time they held her waist to soften up her adrenaline.
“I’m just extremely afraid.. what if you end up acting like her again?”
“No.. not just that, I’m scared that I might mess things up and I start to become like her”
“You will never be like Rani, if you did act like her you would’ve still continued to kiss me even when I couldn’t breathe for a little bit.”
They moved her closer to them while letting her talk, as she slowly lay down to their chest, listening to her heartbeat.
“I love you so much ayin, you don’t understand.” She said with tears once again, flowing down her face “But I feel so hopeless, and everything’s so inadequate..”
She continued to choke on her saliva and was struggling to get herself together again; their presence still maintained her composure and partially calmed her down.
“Well, if you’re feeling like there’s nothing left.”
“I’ve got a cure for it~”
Ayin kissed her really soft yet sweet, as a reassurance that they’re always there for her.
“Now we need to sleep, if I wake up sleep deprived then that’s all on you.”
2087
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