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Lissen...aren't y'all tired of self deprecating humor yet? Aren't y'all tired of hating yourselves but make it cute™ and quirky™? The world is already cruel enough sometimes. Why are y'all adding to the harshness? Why are y'all being your own worst enemy?

jaythajujubae

Y'all don't know me, especially y'all that have only followed me for this short period that I've had this blog up, but some important things y'all need to understand:

1) I have an excellent sense of humor. Ask any of my long time friends on here. I love to laugh and it's really hard to make me not laugh.

2) I have been battling depression and anxiety since my youth.

3) Some if my friends on here have seen me at my worst. Some have not.

4) So when I say I know the experience intimately, I mean that shit. And when I say that I'm tired of seeing verbal self harm masquerading as "humor" I mean THAT shit.

I never speak from a place of superiority. I have no high horse to ride. No two experiences are alike, so what I specifically had/have to go through, will be so very different from others. So those of you in my notes that battle with intrusive thoughts, I recognize your battle is different from mine. And, trust, this post isn't an attack on you or how you cope with it. Cuz I get it. Sometimes those thoughts come through when they come through.

But this post ain't about that.

This is about the ways people on here actually refuse to recognize how they view their self image and how they seek validation for their negative views. It's like this: I would much rather a person ask me a hundred times if they're pretty than to ask me to agree that they're a piece of shit with a smile.

If you're gonna hate yourself, okay. I literally cannot stop you. But I also don't have to join in with you either. Like I said, I have a great sense of humor. Laugh at anything, me. But I don't find that shit funny anymore. And at some point, honestly, neither should you.

I really didn't think this was a controversial opinion but here we are, I guess.

jaythajujubae

Also l literally used the phrase "make it cute™ and quirky™" to describe a particular behavior that exists in spaces like these. Where people sort of bond over their mutual issues. And there's a time and place for that but it cannot last. At some point you have to look around you and realize that you want more than just empty relatability for the notes. At some point the memes stop being funny. And this shit stops being cute.

jaythajujubae

Lissen...aren't y'all tired of self deprecating humor yet? Aren't y'all tired of hating yourselves but make it cute™ and quirky™? The world is already cruel enough sometimes. Why are y'all adding to the harshness? Why are y'all being your own worst enemy?

khalifaziz

Self-depreciating humor serves multiple uses and meaning depending on person and context.

-"I know people will make fun of me so let me do it first and own the narrative."

-"I don't like this about me or my life but I can't actually change it so god dammit I'm going to at least find some humor in it."

-"I don't like this thing about me but I don't want people to realize I don't like it, so I'll make fun of it so they think I'm indifferent."

-"I actually am indifferent to this and recognise it's a generally funny thing to talk about."

-"Let me take a quick step back and remember not to take myself too seriously, by reminding myself just how silly I can be."

-"I need to reassure people that I'm not an arrogant asshole because I know that I otherwise come off as such."

-"Let me remind other people not to take me too seriously."

-"Let me remind other people that it's okay to find fault with themselves."

-"Let me take a step back to remind myself of something fixable in my life that I'm working on, but do so in a way that doesn't frame the issue so seriously that it feels unfixable."

-"I hate myself and deserve to be mocked."

-"I know people don't like me so I'll say what I think they'd say and become part of the ingroup of people that dislike me."

Though it can be, self-depreciating humor isnt always destructive, or born from self-contempt. It's just a reflection of the fact that people have complex emotions towards themselves. And yeah, that means that some self-depreciating jokes will seem unnecessarily cruel, but the person making them could have any number of reasons beyond emotional self harm for making it.

Sometimes laughing at oneself is the best thing anyone can do.

jaythajujubae

Love, there's a difference between laughing at yourself and constantly making jokes about how you're trash, how you're your best enemy, how you're a dumpster fire, and the like.

Not taking yourself too seriously/the ability to laugh at yourself is good way to have a healthy self image but belittling, being cruel, and using self harming language disguised as "humor" ain't it. And it's certainly not the same as simply "laughing at yourself."

There is a distinct difference and I'm talking specifically about the constant posts where ppl obviously hate themselves and use self deprecating "humor" to pile on to that.

Plus it does damage for others to constantly have to be exposed to that. I can remember there was a period on here, for YEARS, where everyone constantly and consistently made memes and "jokes" about their self hatred to the point where if anyone posted something positive you would find countless reblogs ruining those posts to counter with negative shit. It's like when people on Twitter post good news and folks come outta the woodwork to shit on that cuz they fucking love misery.

I get there are a myriad of reasons behind people's humor. I understand the complexity of emotions. I, too, contain emotional range, but this post ain't about a healthy relationship with yourself. It's about the exact opposite. And, to be clear, I'm not talking about people sharing their thoughts about their mental health. That's a complex issue that many people, including myself, have used this site to sort out. I'm talking specifically about those people who fuel this cycle. Those that refuse to engage with themselves in healthy ways and hide behind "jokes."

Even in your examples the difference is clear as night and day. There's a difference between a post that says, for example, "I finally found out who's to blame for all my bad actions: me" and, say, a joke where a person posts a "selfie" and it's a flaming pile of garbage. One is a joke about self awareness (and actually isn't self deprecating); the other is just cruel. One is humorous; the other is not. Point blank.

And, yeah, I'll admit a person is entitled to write whatever they want to on their blog, but I'm also entitled to be exhausted with seeing it on my dash from a plethora of people.

This post wasn't written to be debated, and maybe I should've made it unrebloggable from jump, that's on me. It was written to express my sadness and tiredness of these posts in general.

Besides eventually everyone should get tired of being their own enemy, of adding fuel to the fire. Trust I'm not talking out the side of my neck or my ass. I'm talking from experience of a lifetime of depressive, cruel self thoughts, that even I had to fight to get out of simply because I was tired to ganging up on myself. I was tired of pretending like these "jokes" were funny and anything less than me refusing to do some self reflection and get some help to change my inner dialogue.

Like I said, the world is cruel enough. It don't need help from me. It doesn't need help from you.

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