ロミ @cornicelloflower - Tumblr Blog

the past few months i feel like i have lost the rich and chaotic inner life that i used to have. my sense of self and identity and interests have fizzled out and ive been left with a husk, boiling full to the brim with hate and frustration but not the frustration that used to make me cry and feel and cut but the frustration of giving up. the feeling of nothing, the challenges that i identified myself with, that became so ingrained in the fabric of my personality and my body have just led way to circumstances where i don’t think i feel anything at all. i don’t create i don’t do anything i don’t cry i don’t feel i don’t think i don’t read i don’t engage im sick im sick

my self image has been obliterated i haven’t taken a photo of myself in months and i can barely look at my face in the mirror. i don’t know what happened. it hurts sometimes and something inside me died since february- and i don’t know how to get it back. i thought maybe it was the lexapro so i stopped it? and yet months later im still incapable of feeling or thinking or existing how i was last year and before. i hate this.

#actually mentally ill #blog #actually anxious #i hate ssris #emotional blunting #personal rant