incorrect haikyuu

multishipping & rarepairs. probably ooc. submit a post.

[correct-hq]

Washijo: This is my star wing spiker Ushijima Wakatoshi. He stands six two and clocks in at 187lbs. He’s surpassed all of my expectations and is growing into a spectacular volleyball player. I do not have children of my own but I consider Wakatoshi to be the closest thing to a son to me. I have poured every single one of my failed hopes and dreams into this boy and I will make sure that he has the future in volleyball that I never could, even if it kills me.

Irihata: This is Oikawa. He’s kind of a pain in the ass but even though he never got a shot at Nationals, he’s going to go to the Olympics. You can’t stop him.

Ukai: This is Kageyama and Hinata they have rabies

[correct-hq]

Sakusa: The French have given us many good things

Bokuto: French toast!!!

Sakusa: The Guillotine

[correct-hq]

Kyoutani, giving Yahaba flowers: They match your eyes.

Yahaba: These are lilies. They are white.

Kyoutani: That’s, like, most of your eyes.

[correct-hq]

Kuroo: If I were a drink I’d be cherry coke, what would you guys be?

Akaashi: Bleach

Kenma: Sewage

Kuroo: ok calm down edgelords

[correct-hq]

[playing Smash Bros]

Asahi: TAKE THAT, YOU INSUFFERABLE FUCKING SIMPLETON!

Daichi: Woah, Asahi! What the-

Asahi: Wha-? Oh I'm sorry, guys. I didn't mean to snap like that—

Suga, on the same team as Asahi: NO! Stay snapped ASAHI STAY SNAPPED

[correct-hq]

Atsumu: How did none of you hear what I just said?!

Suna: I’ve been zoned out for the past two hours.

Osamu: I got distracted halfway through.

Sakusa: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.

[correct-hq]

Kita: i found out yesterday while talking with my grandma that she consistently carries four knives on her at all times. it’s as natural as carrying around her phone and wallet for her. she says if anyone ever attacks her and takes her first knife, they’re in for a surprise. if they take her second knife? another surprise. her third knife? buddy, you’re in for a treat: another knife

[correct-hq]

Hanamaki: Iwaizumi? Since I’m not talking to Oikawa, would you please ask him to pass me the syrup?

Iwaizumi, deeply exhausted: Please pass Hanamaki the syrup, Oikawa.

Oikawa: Mattsun, tell Makki I will only pass the syrup if it won’t be used on any meat product.

Matsukawa: You dunkin’ your sausages in that syrup homeboy?

Hanamaki: Iwaizumi, tell Issei I just want to drink a nice glass of syrup like I do every morning.

Iwaizumi: Tell him yourself, you’re ignoring Oikawa, not Matsukawa.

Hanamaki: Issei, thank Iwaizumi for pointing that out.

Iwaizumi: Hanamaki, you’re not not-talking to me and secondly I heard what you said.

Hanamaki: Oikawa, tell Iwaizumi to get off my case.

[correct-hq]

Hakuba, setting up a dating profile: What are your three best qualities?

Hirugami: I’m gay, I’m soft, and sometimes I cry because I love my friends so much.

[correct-hq]

Bokuto: Is Star Wars the one with the little wizard boy?

Akaashi: We're breaking up.

[correct-hq]

Fukunaga: [takes off a hat to reveal a smaller, sparkly, secret hat] Does this answer your question?

Yamamoto: I- I never asked a question.

[correct-hq]

Sakusa: Motoya has no survival or self-preservation instincts. I think he was built without them.

Suna: That can’t be true.

Sakusa: Watch this.

Sakusa: Hey, Motoya! Race you downstairs!

Komori: [jumps out of twenty-story window]

[correct-hq]

[third year]

Tsukishima: Have you been yelled at by Yachi yet

Karasuno 1st year: Pssh, I’m not scared of her

Tsukishima: So that’s a no

[correct-hq]

Akaashi: I'm going to need a human skull but you can’t ask why.

Kenma: Only if you also don't ask why

Kenma: [pulls out 7 pristine human skulls from his bag] Take your pick.

Akaashi:

Kenma:

Akaashi:

Akaashi: this one is fine

[correct-hq]

Osamu, about to go to bed: I love you Rin

Suna: I love you too Samu

Osamu:

Suna:

Osamu: We both love you as well Tsumu

Atsumu, from the top bunk: Thanks. I was feeling a little left out

[correct-hq]

Iwaizumi: I am BEGGING you to go see a doctor—

Oikawa: Oh, is this our ACL tear? Stay out of it.

[correct-hq]

hq!! as florida man headlines

Kuroo:

Suga:

Hinata:

Kenma:

Komori:

Osamu:

Hoshiumi:

Matsukawa: