Faithful/Raised By Hippies

20 | he/him | queer poet

[cottont33th]

A silly little photo dump blog turned poetry blog.

main: @houndt33th

Art: @houndt33th-art

CW for this blog (all tagged)

- animals bones and taxidermy stuff

- dysphoria

- occasional graphic descriptions

- depression and anxiety

TAGS

- Poetry: #Rain Skyler poem

- Poetry project booklet: #Winter Prologue

- HRT voice progression spoken poetry: #moment by moment

- big poetry project: #one body

[cottont33th]

2/13/26

I do love myself

As much as I am frustrated

At my inability to pull myself out

My mind seems so full of mud these days and I think I’m only just accepting how much of it really is mental illness

I knew I had

But never felt important enough to pay attention to

I feel solid right now

Which is a rare find these days

And I feel sad I am like this

But I’m relieved at that pain too

Because that means the meds are working

I can feel again

Because I think it was all just too much

And then it all became nothing

And the world turned grey and I became numb to everything

I was angry at nothing today

And I’ve been anxious

And afraid

Insecure

Dysphoric

Overstimulated

Sick

But I can feel the ground again

And I can name the emotions running through me

And for that I am grateful.

[cottont33th]

1/16/26

I love you

Like how the smell of cedar smoke hangs heavy in the air of this house

Cleansed and holy holy holy

Hold me, dear

I love you like the morning fog on the dark water

Don’t you know being with you it like a prayer?

I pray when you hold me

Thank you for being you

In a world that isn’t good enough to have you

I love you like the sun

In that dangerous sort of way you give me life

You are a star of the brightest colors

A rainbow

You are a wonder, my dear

I can feel the warmth of you on my face

Watching sunsets on our porch swing

Wrapped in wool and thick fluffy cotton

The quiet dimming hum of insects

And light snore of the landscape

safe

and asleep

[cottont33th]

Safe 🌿

[cottont33th]

Magic 🪁

[cottont33th]

Night 🍃

[cottont33th]

Gold ✨

[cottont33th]

2/1/26

It’s been a long time since the world smelled this vivid

And the colors shone this bright

And I smiled at the rain on my face

Oh sweet fragile soul

Don’t you remember how strong the wind makes you feel?

Spread your arms and imagine wings again

Just like we used to.

[cottont33th]

10/26/25

I don’t remember an October cold before

A cold so sharp

I can’t tell the difference between the smoke and the ice on the my breath

The street lamps on the soccer field are soft

Huddled by fog and silence

And the quiet moving shapes in the dark

Fill me with comfort

And a thrill

Of the mystery and story filled cry

Of dusk dwelling birds

The ones I always forget to ask Rey

What he thought the name of might be

My thumbs shift stiffly

They might be full of needles

In the way I can’t bend them

And my stomach remains full of air

Grinning at the people who just passed

Disappearing in the dark

Their echoing voices

Singing in the dark

It’s a good night to be here

Weed making my mind fuzzy

And the cold feels like an embrace

With frozen finger tips

And a palm on the side of my head

She holds me

The night

Like a dark mother

My saliva has grown thick

And back of my throat bitter

I am so tremendously grateful

For the bite in my shoes

The cold seeping through

Holding the sting at the end of my nose

Wet and dripping onto my top lip

I’m held in the palm of a hand

Thumb gently pressed against my tired body

The breeze of sharp cold breath

Whispering to me

In the quiet rocking of the night

I am eased to sleep

[cottont33th]

10/10/25

Ritual

In the early morning

When the sky is still opening his eyes

I step quietly down the hall and flip the kettle switch

I take out fruit and seasoned meats

And I cook them to the the sound the of the boiler

Drowning out the voice of Sufjan Stevens

And I pray

In my own way

In the quiet early morning

To the sizzling of bacon on the stove

Inhaling the sweet steam of tea

And then quietly

So quietly

I finish in the kitchen

And tiptoe back to my room

Warm food in hand

And when I sit in the sanctuary I’ve created

Gratefully eating the food I’ve prepared

I feel warm and holy

[cottont33th]

Raven Wings

I wish more than anything now

I could show you the rivers

And the way the water looks crystal

Green over the smooth treasure of stones

And bodies of the rainbow trout

And I want to drive you through the tunnel

Of trees that break out into the horse ranches

Dear sweet bird

I wish to take you across the lake

To show you the sweetest part of July

How the dark red juice would flow like the blood of summer

Over your pale thighs

And we would laugh

And push each other into the murky water

With smiles full of seeds and red

I’ll take you to that secret place

Where the human world falls away

And we become birds and fly with herons

And none of the bullshit matters

Because here the water is golden

And filled with so much life we can’t help but feel a part of something bigger

That we’re no longer individuals

But one with everything

But we can’t stay long

So I’ll take you back around

To the spot where the branch’s form archways

And lay in the shade

Rocking gently in the water

I will count

Each freckle

On your pretty face and wings

My raven

My love

We’ll let clean water out wash away the day and crash into blankets warmed by the light of my open window

Skin to skin

Heart to heart

And here we can still feel it

The wholeness we found

The kind of whole that fills and fills and never runs out

[cottont33th]

5/6/25

Washington Epilogue (waking)

Warmth like the sun bathed stones

I would lay on as a kid

Your skin and mine

We’re here

As close as we can get

And you’re smiling with your cute teeth

And I’m giggling

And I am overwhelmed

With a type of love so intense

I can’t wait to share my life with you

And I told you that

And you did that thing you do

Where you hum and nuzzle me

Because the words have left you

And I know I haven’t said too much

And that nothing I could say right now would be too much

And so I walk you through my most favorite thoughts of you

A forest wedding

Like the one in Twilight

And the life we’ll live

A lighthouse studio

Travels to study birds

Exploring the coasts

You and me.

And I tell you you’re the love of my life

And you say the same

Oh love of my life.

[cottont33th]

3/25/25

When we grow old

There will be

White yellow and pale blue paint

Dried orange slices and red string

Paintings of all sizes

In frames

On tacks

Directly on the walls

Steam and incense smoke

Floating through the sun golden kitchen

Barefoot on layered colorful rugs

Dog hair and beads will litter the floors

Take my hand love

And twirl me around the house that we created

Every piece a part of us

Carrying a story with it

Full of love and life

[cottont33th]

6/23/25

As the world burns

I cry over a drawing

You left tucked away in my phone case

Devastated of the injustice

That you live too far away for me to hug you

I want to go back to that moment

My heart you’re asleep

And a white moth circled our heads

The breeze through the green filled windows

As light as your breath on my neck

I will come home to you my darling

[cottont33th]

7/9/25

Dry grass is sweet when the nights get colder

Even just slightly

A smell break from the scorching unnatural heat California always seems to be now

Brings out the strongest sickly sweet of the earth

The burning world is becoming mine

Three days and I can breathe fully

Smoke and haze but breathing none the less

But at least my love can hold me

In less than a months time

In the wake of our slow destruction

[cottont33th]

7/9/25

August

I’ll be back for you

The forests under the surface of the black water

Only I can see

I’ll be back

For the white egret curiously approaching the dry clothes I left on the dock

I’ll be back for this feeling

Of being alive and naked

In the water

In the warm breeze

Back for this feeling of life

I tend forget I’ve never once lost

They’re all here waiting

The hundreds of little sunfish

Who bite a little too hard if given the chance

The slow and watching bass

The otters

And the dogwood that floats on the water

The woods that held me dearly

The sea who whispers threats and sweet nothings

The birds who carry on above me

I’ll be back for you all

[cottont33th]

Nebula

Who would have known

You can hold stars

So comfortably in your hands

Laying sprawled in the dark under the street lamps

Soaking in the heat from the corroding pipes underneath the concrete

My star holds my hand

And I love him so much it aches

His light is so big

And I hold some of it in my chest

And I give him some of mine in return

And the tears on my face

Are hotter than the concrete

As I squeeze his hand

And kiss his quivering mouth

And back away from the car

I will see you soon my darling.