The REAL Couch Lore

All couch lore posted here is canon to Gloom & Doom. Even if it's contradictory, still canon. I don't make the rules. Oh wait, yes I do.

[kaygee-doodles]

all i understand from this is that either

furries are vampires

furries are not vampires

i don't know which one is right, but that's all i could understand from this

[couch-lore]

The.... couch..... is a vampire furry???

[kaygee-doodles]

How does the Quantum Couch work?

Assuming it wasn't lost when the thing happened in like

Chapter 40 I think???

But why do jackets n stuff keep coming out

And popatos stuffed in the pillows

Mmmmmagic

[couch-lore]

The couch has an Infinite Improbability Drive inside it.

[kaygee-doodles]

What is couch lore..im just hearing about it and I have no idea what that is-

Couch Lore is basically the lore around the couch.

Hope that helps.

[couch-lore]

The full couch lore can only be told around a campfire during a thunderstorm inside a haunted house after making sacrifices of accent pillows.

[kaygee-doodles]

I think I might have figured out the couch lore.so I was reading the entirety of your posting as you do. and you said a year ago that the couch can pull in only things with the sans base code but will also pull in a orange hoodie with a blue scarf tied around the arm. Or the swap sans base code and code that is very similar. Geno is technically a sans but is not the sans of his universe.but his jacket is a sanses base coded item and he is technically dead so the couch would only think it is pulling a version of dustes jacket through with monster dust on it. And since it isn’t his universe and we have no idea if this will happen in nightmares castle where Time moves slowly he might be able to survive there for a while. If it isn’t there then readers universe might not have the code to kill him since the story has stoped and it might not have been coded in in the first place. Or he could have made a way to survive outside of the save screen and sat on the couch which sucked him in.

Or he has absolutely nothing to do with the couch and I’m just overthinking. (I’m ashamed to admit that I forgot the tags about geno)

Another good hypothesis! And an excellent idea. Once more I think your ideas may be better than the truth.

[couch-lore]

Sooooo....

What you're saying is.....

The couch is Geno.

[luisonte]

Humano no me gustan tus mierdas

[lionfloss]

Vintage Velvet Loveseats

[kaygee-doodles]

Wait...didnt you say the couch is semi-sentient? Does this mean it's going to relocate now that the universe is imploding? Or wait! Is it how reader escapes their universe?

[couch-lore]

By reading Kaygee's body posture here I can tell that the answer to this question is that the couch will be using a Delorian to escape Reader's universe.

[kaygee-doodles]

You cannot put couch lore in that fucking Geno ask, you canNOT

[couch-lore]

Kaygee didn't actually. I hacked her blog and put it there, this is all just a massive cover-up.

[couch-lore]

Did the couch eat the popatos and did we unstomach it by taking the popatoes out

Yes.

And let this be a lesson to people who take coins and bits of food from in between the cushions of your couches: That stuff doesn't belong to you, give it back to the couch.

[kaygee-doodles]

i went back to your couch lore tag and i happened to come across the first ask tagged "couch lore". for no reason in particular, what happens when the couch hits a universe where a sans is wearing, say, a sans-variant jacket and a papyrus-variant scarf. for. research reasons.

It is generally accepted the couch only pulls clothes that aren't being worn, or the whole skeleton would come up through the couch.

[couch-lore]

This is a lie crafted to divert the masses from the truth: The couch eats the sanses it sucks in and spits out the empty jackets like a dragon spitting out the shells of the knights it eats.

[kaygee-doodles]

Wait…. Is the couch a Sans?

Good question!

[couch-lore]

Yes.

Next question.

[couch-lore]

Stop looking at my pillows you pervs.

[couch-lore]

What is the couch made of

The inner frame is made of bones and it's stuffed with monster dust.

Reader is actually sitting on the UTMV version of a piece of furniture you would find inside the Sawyer Family home from the Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

[kaygee-doodles]

I think I figured out the couch and I feel like the meme with all the strings connecting shit on the walls and the dude with the manic smile but like ok so every Sans technically has a couch. The Couch is the One Universal Constant™️ so imagine if multiple layers of something were scrunched on top of each other and it’s the same thing… but with a Not Universal Constant. ie the jackets! The Constant is stable. It’s sturdy, good, can’t mess with it. Smart move on Dust’s end to put a big stability point next to a tear in timespace to protect his s/o tbh. But anyways every so often in order to stay Constant it’s gotta purge the Not Constants. Boom. Free jackets and popatos. (And maybe it makes the tear a bit worse who knows that’s probs a lot of energy to expel a Not Constant ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

That might be a better idea than what I came up with. Damn.

[couch-lore]

This is actually what's going on, and Kaygee sent this ask to herself to try to tell her followers it's NOT what's going on to throw us off the trail.

[couch-lore]

Is the couch into voyeurism?

The couch sees all...

[couch-lore]

✨Anti-couch blogs DNI✨

[couch-lore]

“My name is Ozymandias, king of kings: Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!”