Okay, so I saw this video — like a test. It said: 'the first name you see, that goddess or god will help you with your question.' And I saw Ishtar. And then I started reading about her, and it freaked me the fuck out. Like, she's about love, war, fertility, sacred prostitution, all this intense shit. And I got scared.
I don't know what that was just now, but it felt like someone took my face in their hands and stroked it. Like she came. Like she wanted to take my pain away, because I felt so much lighter. I said she doesn't need to do that, because I want to remember everything and go through it all, because without it I won't become whole, I won't be with myself. And I don't even want to take revenge on them. I just want to have at least a little bit more of her steadiness. It felt like I was hugged. Like a mom or a grandma hugged me, kissed me on the forehead. It was like, on an energy level, I heard: 'my little girl.' Now I'm crying.
Did any of you going through this? Or something?