It's been more than 7 years since I made my original post about the "One", a name referring to whoever may or will be my future partner.
I'm currently in my late 20s and now a working professional. After rediscovering my original post, I would like to revisit the traits and characteristics I listed there and provide additional insights. I've also rearranged the order for some of these traits and some are what I treat as non-negotiable; meaning that I would not consider those who do not meet these particular criteria.
1. She is 100% God-fearing. This is important for me. I want to have a future partner who puts God first above all and loves Him wholeheartedly.
I just want to point out that this is a non-negotiable trait. Better if my future partner believes in the same faith and principles as I am. I just want to quote 2 Corinthians 6:14, "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?"
2. She shares the Gospel and lives a life glorifying Christ. As Jesus commands us to make disciples for us to honor Him, I want someone who can join me in a journey with God together. I like someone who passionately spread His word to others.
This is another non-negotiable trait. I want to see my future partner not only firmly believes in the Word of God but also lives out what it says. She should not be the reason why my relationship with Christ would be compromised but rather should challenge me to grow deeper in my walk with Him and vice-versa.
3. She is honest. I do not like someone who is fraud and lying not only to me but also to others. I appreciate someone who can tell the truth even when it hurts. I also appreciate someone who is not afraid to tell her weaknesses, not just her strengths.
As an ENFP, I value honesty and sincerity. Thus, I treat this as a non-negotiable trait as well. I appreciate someone who can provide corrections whenever I'm wrong. I would also appreciate her setting the expectations from the get-go. To quote Proverbs 27:5, "Better is open rebuke than hidden love."
4. She is responsible and mature. I want someone who can take responsibility for her actions. This is the way I can determine if she is brave enough no matter what.
What I meant by this is that she is accountable and responsible for the actions and decisions she makes. If she makes a mistake, she does not hesitate to own up to it.
5. She is hardworking. Of course, I want someone who knows how to make sacrifices to achieve something. “No pain, no gain.”
I just want to quote Proverbs 13:4, "A sluggard’s appetite is never filled, but the desires of the diligent are fully satisfied."
6. She is diligent and wise. I am not saying about someone who is always at the top. What I meant is that she is using her knowledge and wisdom in a fruitful and productive manner. She knows how to act properly especially in important situations.
Being good at academics is a plus for me, but what I am emphasizing here is that she is applying her God-given wisdom into action; in her daily routines, at home, at the workplace, at church and in other places.
7. She is a homegrown person. In other words, she knows the duties at home.
I just want to provide some clarifications here. I am not saying that my future partner should shoulder all the responsibilities at home. At the very least, I want for us to balance out the roles, especially when planning out our future household.
8. She loves and respects her family. If she does not appreciate and care her own family (siblings, parents, and relatives), she would not care about mine as well. I will be much happier if her family is a Christian too.
Her family having a strong Christian background would be a huge plus. It would help me get along with them much better. "A family that prays together, stays together."
9. She is sociable and friendly. I want someone who can associate with others, influencing their lives, and more.
I like to see her make an impact on the people surrounding her; showing a Christlike example for others to follow. Getting along and having fun with them is not bad, as long as she knows her own boundaries.
10. She is optimistic. I like someone who never gives up easily.
As an ENFP, I'm an optimist at heart. I tend to encourage others never to give up. And if those I encouraged succeed in their goals in life, it's a sense of relief and joy for me. In the same way, I appreciate if this person encourages me in my own goals.
11. She is modest. Honestly, I want someone who is conscious with what she wears at public and private and how people would treat her according to that.
Just to clarify as a Christian, what I meant is she knows that what she wears is still in accordance to Biblical principles. Just to quote 1 Corinthians 6:19-20, "Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies."
Since we're talking about appearances...
12. She is beautiful, inside and outside. No question about that. I believe that if a person is beautiful on the inside, it will reflect on the outside as well.
This may sound I'm exaggerating. Of course, someone who looks lovely is a plus, but I do look on someone's personality a lot more. Outer beauty fades over time but inner beauty remains.
13. She likes adventures. I am a person who likes to explore many places. So, I want someone who likes to explore with me.
The adventures I mentioned here aren't just referring about travelling to different countries all around the world, doing thrilling stuffs, etc. I'm also referring to doing new things even in simpler settings, planned or spontaneous; like going to a cat cafe, riding a new attraction on an amusement park, or attending desired concerts, just to name a few.
14. She likes reading books and sharing stories. Seriously, I am somewhat a bookworm, a social media person, and somewhat a writer. So, I like somebody who can share new information and stories to me. I will be much happier if she writes stories too.
Nowadays, I spend more time making content posts in social media but I still do read books that interests me from time to time. I do not mind if this person converses with me a lot, from sharing her adventure stories or just about how she spent her day for example.
15. She accepts me for who I am. “No one is perfect.” So, I want someone who will accept me for my flaws and weaknesses. She will also accept my past no matter what.
In the same way, I would accept her for who she is. Imperfections make someone unique. As one says, "Embracing our imperfections does not make us less; it makes us more relatable, more interesting, more human..."
These are what I originally listed years ago.
Since this post is already getting long, I may do another post regarding additional traits that I didn't put on this original list.
Either way, at the end of the day, it's still up to God's perfect plan and timing. He knows better than I. Also, waiting for that someone doesn't mean I'm doing nothing. Even at my current age, I still do believe I have a lot of things I've yet to learn about life. And thus, I yearn to improve myself each day.
To my future partner (if God-willing):
You may be someone who I've never met yet, or perhaps you're someone I've already known and actually admire from afar.
Nevertheless, if you're reading this, please know that I'm praying for you; for your well-being, for your personal growth and development, and for your continuous spiritual relationship with God.
I may not be the perfect or the most ideal person you may have envisioned, but I hope you accept me for who I am. I also pray that you'll be preparing for me when God's timing finally comes, and I officially start pursuing you. I love you with the love of the Lord.
