eyes on the prize.

My name is Dell. I'm smarter than you. Independent Roleplay Blog. From Sam Esmail's Comet.

[cqmvt]

* alive i promise. just doin the life thing. going on a trip to vegas this week. laptop still busted which is frustrating as fuck that it happened just as i’m getting back to the swing of things here. but so it goes. will address that once i’m back and hopefully get it fixed quick.

[cqmvt]

back from the trip. i’ll be getting to things shortly. laptop still crapped out but i’ll figure it out. thanks for the wait pals.

[love]

by Pierre Wayser

[soracities]

e.e. cummings, from “the first of all my dreams was of” (in 73 Poems), Complete Poems: 1904-1962

[Text ID: “–how you and i are blossoming”]

[colorogasm]

via Weheartit.

[cqmvt]

* alive i promise. just doin the life thing. going on a trip to vegas this week. laptop still busted which is frustrating as fuck that it happened just as i’m getting back to the swing of things here. but so it goes. will address that once i’m back and hopefully get it fixed quick.

[theoptia]

H.D., from Trilogy; “Tribute to the Angels”

Text ID: and surely never, never / was a spring more bountiful / than this; never, never / was a season more beautiful,

[wreck]

[cqmvt]

p. aurora.​

“i’m fine.” she didn’t offer anything more than that. she wasn’t fine – the back of her head hurt where she’d been hit with whatever had been used to knock her out, her lip was split, she had an ugly gash on her forehead that she was terrified was going to scar, her wrist hurt, the left side of her torso was heavily bruised, and her entire body ached but she wasn’t about to complain. she would suck it up and deal, like she always did. 

one eyebrow arched at the term goody two shoes. she had to assume it was the first time anyone had ever said those words when referring to her. even as a child she had found it impossible to behave. the notion that either of her brothers would care that she was smoking almost made her smile – almost. “why does it matter what happened?” she didn’t turn to face him as he sat down next to her. 

This is why I broke up with you, you know. Always so closed off and never telling me anything when you're so clearly lying. Acting as if I can't handle whatever it is that you've got going on. You don't know what I see in my line of work, Aurora. You never did understand that. [ He takes an excessively long drag and it burns as the smokes comes out his nose instead. ] Tell me what happened.

[ Sarcasm goes a long way. He knows she’s not good. And he knows his brothers don’t care. ] It doesn’t matter. But I’m here. And you know me, how I think nothing happens by chance. [ Dell sighs and hands over his cigarette towards her, urging her to take a drag if she wants one. ] Just tell me. I think whatever happened only happened because of your negligence so. It won’t be a pity party for you, don’t worry.

[inexorcble]

open to all ; any connection, any scenario, make it fun

“What you’re doing is wrong. It is objectively and morally wrong.” Willow said. “Like, I’m a little concerned that you are either not aware of that or you don’t care.”

[cqmvt]

That just depends on what you categorize as wrong. Is it wrong because it breaks the law and makes you feel a little uneasy, or are you just not willing to expand more out into the unknown, the unchartered. [ Dell has his hands folded in his lap, he’s leaning back against his chair languidly. ] Let’s just say people know what they're getting into when they work with me.

[quotemadness]

Sometimes suffering is just suffering. It doesn’t make you stronger. It doesn’t build character. It only hurts.

Kate Jacobs (via quotemadness)

[livefromphilly]

[ercuillium-blog]

[ps1]

[just-justin-long-deactivated202]

Justin Long attends Yoga Hosers Premiere at Sundance Film Festival (2016)

[cqmvt]

p. selina.​

“Just shut up and help me.” She snaps through clenched teeth, a permanent wince on her features as she began to hunch over with a groan of pain. “Stab. Asshole got too close to me.”

[ He chuckles at that. ] Where are your manners, Ms. Kyle. [ A light tease to distract. He puts a hand on her stomach, trying to get her to calm her breathing. ] Breathe. And please try not to move. I don't want any more blood to leave you. [ He brushes her hair back without thinking. ] I've got you.

Where does it hurt? In your stomach? Or more intestines? [ He goes to open his briefcase to get a towel so they can move her. ] Hold onto this and press it down on the wound, I’ll help. We have to get you somewhere clean and safe. But we have to stop the bleeding first. [ He looks around the abandoned alley way, then pulls the second gun he has from his back where he had it secured in his waistband and hands it to her. ] In case he comes back. [ A beat. ] We stop the worst of it and then we get up. Can you walk?

[cqmvt]

p. archie.

“you were there?” disbelief saturated his tone, was etched across his face. he didn’t think it was funny at all. it was fucked up, so fucked up. “so you just stood there while all your friends, your family, cried over an empty casket? what the fuck is wrong with you?”

archie stepped back almost automatically. he was angry that he had to go through such an experience needlessly – he had mourned for someone who wasn’t dead. maybe later he would feel something other than rage – relief, maybe. “what are you talking about? who said that?”

[ He sniffles at the question, knowing it was sick. Knowing that as he watched from the woods, that there was nothing he could do to console Archie. ] I wanted to scream that I was right there. To stop everything. [ He shakes his head, a more frazzled look to his eyes. But then Archie blames him, takes it out on him and he snaps. ] HOW DARE YOU! I was doing this to save YOUR life! I did what I had to do to make sure YOU would be okay! Your whole family!

[ Della pulls back to the desk and grabs onto the back of the chair by the desk in the corner of this safe house cabin the middle of the woods and he feels his body begin to shake. He's weak from having been in hiding, trying to stay low and undetected. From not only his own people, but from whoever had come into his life to threaten him. ] I don't know. It was all burner phones with voice changers. But they hacked into my computer. Found some of my medical contacts. I'm not stupid enough to keep the underground shit on a computer. But they showed me that they were surveilling you.

[ He sniffs again and rubs his hands over his face. ] I was only able to get out of hiding to meet you here because one of my contacts heard some chatter about you. [ He looks over towards him. ] I have to go back soon. There's too much at risk. Good thing is I've gone dark on their end. And on my end from my people. He wanted me dead and gone but wanted to keep tabs on me. I made sure it wasn't possible. But you need to move carefully. And you need to help me find out who it was.

[cqmvt]

p. maya.

you know what? it doesn’t make a difference if you fucked my sister, fucked a stranger….it doesn’t matter. you were still unfaithful to me. you lied to me. you broke my heart. her voice cracked on those last two words, her body shaking. she was starting to break down, starting to crumble in front of the man she thought was going to be the love of her life. 

she watches him launch the ring, shaking her head. “okay.” she wipes her tears, sucking in a deep breath. “i’m so glad that’s finally over.” the pain in her chest kept growing, watching him act out the way that he was. he really never loved me. those words rang in her head over and over again. “goodbye, dell.” she whispered, turning around one last time to get home and cry herself to sleep.

[ Dell starts to roll his eyes now as she speaks. She really is so naive and perfectly sculpted by the matrix. Confined to the way things were always "supposed" to be or predetermined by whatever average is blasted to you by propaganda. Instead of just allowing people to be who they are and understand that people are human. Life isn’t easy. But that there's love to be had in the world. He always wonders what life would be like for people if we didn’t indoctrinate our children into expecting fairytales. But rather set them up with realistic expectations of what love is and could be. Who is he to talk, though? Other than for whatever reason being completely unable to settle in and commit. ]

[ Dell just nods. ] I'm glad I could give you that closure. [ He just watches her, goes back to that place inside himself that's resigned himself to her leaving. He knew she would anyway, if she ever found out. Maybe he always wanted her to do so, so he could escape. He puts his hands in his pockets. Then before she reaches her door, he stops her with a hand to her bicep lightly, no real grip, and wanting her to look back at him. ] You have every right to be angry with me. But I do love you. I will always love you, Maya.