I Was Part of White Privilege And Didn’t Know It........
As a man, I hate being called racist or even being remotely associated with anyone or anything racist. However, as I have examined myself, my life, and my surroundings over the last few months, I realized that I am a racist and I am neck deep in white privilege. Now before you send the hate mail and nasty comments, or label me as part of the KKK, I implore you to read to the end.
I am a white man, and I am a racist. Yes, you read that correctly. Had we had this conversation 6 months ago, I would have argued to my death that I was the very antithesis of a racist.
Growing up in rural NC, with one foot in the upper lower class and the other rooted in the lower middle class, I never thought of myself as privileged in any way. From food stamps to free lunch, and the stigmas that accompany that, I never noticed anything that resembled special treatment. Frankly, I never paid attention to the term “White Privilege” being tossed around in the media. That is until the love of my life pointed it out and I removed the white rose colored glasses. I finally concluded that all of my days on this earth, my life has been so heavily cloaked in white privilege, that most of the time I’m blind to it.
My blindness is no way absolves me of any responsibility. It’s not cause to throw up my hands and say, “It’s not my fault,” or “I didn’t know”. What it does demand is that I step up and admit that thus far, I am and have been part of the problem. Just as admitting to being an addict is the first step to recovery, accepting my own part in the oppression of people of color, is the first step in becoming part of the solution. Those that know me best, know that I live by the mantra, “If you don’t like me now, you damn sure won’t like me later.” Simply put, I don’t live by what others think of me. That is how my dad raised my brothers and I. That said, you might not like me by the time you are finished reading this. And I’m fine with that, I don’t need anymore friends. My goal is to wake people up, to start a conversation, hell even start an argument.
When I get grouped into the racist category, or even while in discussion with my peers about race or politics, I felt like I had a “Get Out of Jail Free Card”. You see, my ex-wife was half black, and we have a bi-racial son, and I’ve dated a lot of black and non-white women. Surely, this gives me the right to be excluded from the racist and white privilege discussion. But I was wrong.
In our society, even if you are half black, or a quarter black, you are black. No one says half white when describing someone who is mixed. Black or half black are the choices. Our former President, who is half white and half black, is still described as the first black President of the free world. While I may or may not agree with his politics, he should have been given a chance to close the racial divide that exists in our country. No other president has ever been in such a unique position.
White people reading this are probably already fuming, and calling me a host of names. I’m sure some of my closest family are seething, deleting me off Facebook and their phone contacts list. But I persist because this topic is very personal to me. As my son grows into a man, I know I would be doing him a disservice if I didn’t expose him to the real world. Not the world where all of the white parents are smiling in his face, but the one where they are telling their daughters not too date him. All the while claiming they aren’t racists. I need to teach him and equip him to be a survivor in this world, just as my dad did for me.
There is always the outside chance that somehow you (talking to white folks here) managed to grow into a functional adult without ever being introduced to the orientations and opinions that the rest of us were raised on. But I’m going to bet otherwise. Black people can’t be racist. Yes I said that. None of you (I’m talking to people of color) are racist. You might be the meanest, baddest, most homophobic, misogynist, prejudiced asshole on the planet, but not racist. White people, you are racist.
How did I come to that conclusion? I’m glad you asked. I will try to explain it as clearly and plainly as I can. Racism does not mean disliking or even hating someone due to the color of their skin. That is prejudice pain and simple. MERRIAM-WEBSTER defines prejudice this way: a(1) preconceived judgement or opinion (2) an adverse opinion or leaning formed without just grounds or before sufficient knowledge. (B) an instance of such judgement or opinion © an irrational attitude of hostility directed against an individual, a group, a race, or their supposed characteristics. WE ARE ALL PREJUDICED TO SOME DEGREE.
Racism is much deeper. I recently read an article that defined racism as Hate PLUS Power. If a black person professes to hate all white people, they are prejudiced. Yet there is no shred of evidence to prove or back it up. The prisons and the jails are not full of a disproportionate number of white people incarcerated for petty crimes with stiffer sentences. Law enforcement doesn’t arrest more white people than black people for the same offenses. White people are not racially profiled. Schools that have a higher and more affluent white population are not underfunded year after year. White people find it easier to get jobs, loads, even rides from Uber. IF the evidence was this strong in support of the black man’s hatred, he would be a racist. Since we all know it doesn’t, the worst he can be is prejudiced.
I don’t know if I can paint a clearer picture for you. That being said, I want to apologize to all the white people. Reverse racism does not and cannot exist in our present state. No matter what anyone tries to say or how they want to spin it, the only racist people are white people.
I understand that there are degrees of racism. If you have a confederate flag prominently displayed in your home or in front of it, you’re probably a bit more racist than most Caucasians. But no matter what, if you’re white, you’ve probably benefited from white supremacy and are racist by association.
If your upbringing was in any way influenced by money handed down by your ancestors, you benefited from white privilege. If the court system was lenient on you or someone in your family, you benefited. If you have never been pulled over for being black, you’ve benefited. And when you benefit from a system, you’re part of it. I know I am. For every white person in America, it is almost certain that something like this happened to you at some point in your life. And like me, you probably had no idea it was even happening.
When good things happen to us, people start to think they deserve it. And maybe they do, maybe they don’t. But people who are not white, who don’t have any such privileges, don’t deserve less or deserve to be treated as less than human.