I go simple, I go easy, I go headless, I go Greyhound!
Bear witness to this harrowing account of a Greyhound bus ride gone horribly wrong! OK, OK: even more horribly wrong than usual, because each and every trip on a Greyhound bus is nightmarish in its own way. My freshman year in college was marked by several Greyhound trips between Iowa City and Cedar Rapids, roughly 30 miles away, to visit a girlfriend. How bad could a 30-mile bus ride be, you ask? Well, I remind you that Eastern Iowa is one of the primary meth-producing regions of the country, and has been for quite some time. So, if you like riding around in a large metal tube with several rail-thin, foul-smelling degenerates, then you’re in luck…and you also have horrible taste in leisure-time activities; trust me, it’s bad. But at no point in any of those trips did a fellow passenger decapitate and eat parts of his seat-mate.
"They returned to the back of the bus to find that the person who was stabbing the person in the neck had now sawed off the head of (the victim)."
Yeah, that would really throw a wrench in your whole day. I’ve been stabbed before (albeit in the shoulder and with a sharpened stick), and while it sucked, it wasn’t something I wanted to turn into a big deal. But once somebody’s head gets cut off, the stakes have been raised. And while I applaud the passengers for taking a risk and confronting this stabbing enthusiast, I was a bit surprised by this part:
The man, with the head in one hand and the knife in the other, then tried to attack the other passengers, said Oliver.
The group was able to exit the bus and slammed the door behind them.
They only took off after he started threatening them? I hate to say it, but my reaction probably would have been, “Oh, snap: this dude’s cutting people’s heads off; let’s get the hell out of here.” It would not have been “Oh, snap: this dude’s cutting people’s heads off; let’s see if we can reason with him and…uh-oh, now he’s turned on us; we’d better go.” But wait, there’s more!
The man then stabbed the door with his knife but was unable to break through and get off the bus. Eventually, he attempted to start up the bus to drive away but the operator had hit a switch, disabling the vehicle.
1) Not to make light of the situation, but I love the idea of a crazed, blood-soaked decapitator driving a Greyhound bus. Kind of wish that had happened. Not that it would have been all that different from a standard-issue Greyhound driver, but still…
2) There’s a button to prevent Greyhound bus theft? That’s either very forward-thinking of them, or the result of a shutting-the-barn-door-after-the-horse-has-escaped situation. I’d love to know what precipitated the decision to install that device.
Oliver said a truck driver then arrived at the scene and handed out wrenches and crowbars to several men. The small group gathered around the door to the bus and prevented the man from exiting until police arrived.
Cool! Now we’ve got armed vigilantes and the potential for frontier justice?! This story has everything!
Cody Olmstead, a Nova Scotia man who was on the bus, said that the killer taunted the men who were blocking the door from the outside.
"He cut (the victim’s) head off and then walked up to the door holding it and just looked at them crazy-like and then dropped the head and walked back to the body and started cutting it some more," Olmstead told CTV News from outside a hotel in Brandon, Man., where he and other passengers were taken.
I’m actually starting to like this decapitator. That’s a stone-cold move, taunting your next intended victims with the previous one’s head like that. I also really appreciate the use of the phrase “crazy-like” in that guy’s quote; it adds a lot of character to the tale, and if I was turning this situation into a movie*, Cody Olmstead would play the Bill Paxton-in-Aliens role of the hot-headed fool who eventually redeems himself in a pressure situation. And we haven’t even gotten to the best part of the article yet!
The man was left alone with the body and witnesses say that he performed further indignities to the victim.
"We have word from people on the scene … that when the killer was alone with the body … that there may have been some small acts of cannibalism on the body," Oliver said.
Boom! Obviously, I’m not happy that a guy got stabbed, decapitated, and cannibalized. But, oh mama, do I love how that quote is worded! “Some small acts of cannibalism” is a lot of things, including but not limited to: a heroic feat of understatement; a fantastic black-metal song title; the way Woody Allen would have described the scene; and so much more! Despicable though his actions may have been, you have to admit that the killer really went all out with this crime. Sports, businesspeople, and Del Taco all tell us to go bold or go home, and this fellow went bold.
There’s more, but I’ve taken up enough of your time already, so I’ll just leave you with a few other choice quotes from the piece. Enjoy, and remember: you have so many choices when you travel, and while all transportation providers offer you the possibility of having your head forcibly removed and your body partially consumed by a psychotic, knife-wielding maniac, only Greyhound can safely say that they’ve been there before!
A number of witnesses referred to the suspect’s actions as “robot-like.”
Witnesses said the suspect was tall, large and wearing sunglasses, even though it was dark.
Can we verify Corey Hart’s whereabouts on the night in question? Are we sure the killer isn't a T-800 Terminator unit? And also, are you still a “suspect” when you’re covered in blood and a bus full of people just saw you cut off a guy’s head and taunt them with it? What’s your defense? “Whoa, you’ve got it all wrong: he had a headache, so he asked me to help him take his head off for a minute! He asked me! And then I just got caught up in the heat of the moment and I might have taunted those other guys a little; I feel bad about that part, but once I had the head in my hands, I was just so proud! I just reacted how anyone else would have in that situation!”
Greyhound provides counselling
This should just be a blanket statement covering all Greyhound passengers, regardless of whether or not a decapitation occurs during their trip.
David Eastwick, a passenger on the bus, told CTV News that he noticed that there seemed to be something “wrong” with the suspect even before the attack.
"He look kind of suspicious when I saw him," a clearly-tired Eastwick said Thursday. "Most people if you say ‘Hi’ to them they say ‘Hi’ back to you but this one just looked back and (stared.)"
This gentleman has clearly never ridden on a Greyhound bus, or any other form of public transit, before. By his logic, everybody riding the Red Line in Chicago from November 2004 through April 2005 was also a knife-wielding decapitator waiting for their chance to strike. Actually, he’s probably right about that.
*That isn’t a bad idea! The pitch practically writes itself: “it’s like Speed, but it’s a horror movie!” This summer, the next scheduled stop is…terror! Try not to lose your head on the way! Oh, and the movie poster is the Greyhound logo without a head. I’ll be waiting for a call from Sony.
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