Shit Craquaria's Probably Said

Totally real things that the girls have said. like, 💯

[culturistjack-deactivated201804]

I'd very much like to punch a feminist.

I’d never, ever hurt a lady but I’d be happy to punch a feminist. It’d bring me great joy.

[olisaurusrex]

I’m 6’2 and weigh 180lbs

ready when you are

[thattallsummonerguy]

Or if you’d like to have some more options….

I’m 6’4” 228 pounds and have 9 years of combined martial arts training and 3 years of being a Line Backer in football. Just in case you are looking for variety.

[wontbeafraid-deactivated2014041]

what about a lady and a feminist. warning, combatives certified soldier.

[nevergenders]

im tiny, i’m like 5′4 and 130 lbs but u can fight me too

[scumbagsblog]

Reblogging for the last one cuz that’s adorable

[likeits1995]

SO PROUD

[ghost--ranger]

The Fantastic 4 we deserve

[crimezi]

OMG IVE ONLY SEEN THIS POST IN SCREEN SHOTS

[stars-for-thought]

We will all protect the small one.

[cover-your-ears]

I stan

[keithiskogained-deactivated2019]

it got better!!

[babygoose-deactivated20240106]

plot-twist: the small one could actually kick everyone’s ass

[pumpkin-in-a-pear-tree]

THERE’S ART NOW???!?

[halfbakedastrology]

The Only Thing Your Sign Does Well

Aries: destroy

Taurus: sex

Gemini: talk

Cancer: dream

Leo: cry

Virgo: ignore

Libra: sleep

Scorpio: fight

Sagittarius: hide

Capricorn: spend

Aquarius: deceive

Pisces: create

[angel-nique]

Wow. Just remind me that I cry a lot. I so needed that 😑

[craquariasays]

whatcha gonna do about it? cry?

[craquariasays]

I'm on a break for personal reasons. please understand. I will be back soon

[craquariasays]

Cracker dressed as a cop: do you know why I pulled you over?

Aqua: for being too sexy? haha

Cracker: ... yeah

Aqua: ...oh

Cracker: just kidding, you were going over the speed limit

Aqua: Oh haha

Cracker: ... like my heart is right now

Aqua: ... I don't know what's happening anymore

[craquariasays]

Blair: did you even have a plan?

Vanessa in handcuffs: I thought adrenaline would kick in... it obviously did not.

[craquariasays]

Aquaria: *dressed as an angel*

Sharon:*Slaps halo off* WE WORSHIP SATAN IN THIS HOUSEHOLD!!!

Aquaria: Jesus Christ Sharon can't I-

Sharon: *death stare* only SATAN!!!

[craquariasays]

Bianca: *smiles*

adore: why are you smiling. what did you do?

Bianca: what? I'm not allowed to smile for no reason?

Courtney *comes into the room*: who tripped laganja?

Bianca: *smiles*

[craquariasays]

Aquaria: Hello everybody I'm-

Cracker: *walks in and smiles*

Aquaria: -in love (✿♡u♡)

[craquariasays]

Pearl: I'm in love wih you

Violet: well good luck with that

[craquariasays]

Aquaria: Relax.

Cracker: I'd love to, but that's just not realistic

[craquariasays]

Alaska: over my dead body!

Sharon: I know someone who could help with that

[craquariasays]

Aquaria: when I was younger, I didn't know how to express my feelings very well so I wrote a letter to this girl I liked and panicked. I ended up writing "get out of my fucking school."

Cracker: ... wait. tHAT WAS YOU?!!

[craquariasays]

Trixie: when was the last time you drank something that isn't red bull?

Katya: sometimes shower water slides into my mouth.

[craquariasays]

Asia: Aquaria, stop teaching Miss Vanjie vine references

Aquaria: I'm sure I dont know what you mean.

Vanjie *in the distance*: Hi my name's trey, and I have a basket ball game TOMORROOOOW!!!

[craquariasays]

Cracker: This is too hot, I can't eat this.

Aquaria: you're too hot and I eat you.

Cracker: ...

Aquaria: ...

Cracker: ...

Aquaria: ...

Cracker: *slamming his fork down* ONE DINNER. I JUST WANTED ONE FUCKING DINNER!

[craquariasays]

Vanessa: *strange noises*

Vixen walking up: what's wrong with her?

Blair: idk, I think she's possessed.

[craquariasays]

Aquaria: it's so hot in here *unbuttons shirt*

Cracker: okay, but why are you unbuttoning my shirt?