Another fucking astrology blog

Scorpio. Asks and requests welcome.

[halfbakedastrology]

Yo I forgot I had this blog send me some silly prompts for the signs

[halfbakedastrology]

The zodiac signs when they go for a snack and the only thing they have in the pantry is saltine crackers (I know it sounds weird but it happened to me when I craved Pringles and my mom forgot to get me some)

Aries: eats a few of the crackers before growing tired of them and giving up until the next meal

Taurus: eats too many crackers and has chapped lips the rest of the day

Gemini: pulls up Emmymade on YouTube and tries to figure out how to turn them into a pie or something but never follows through

Cancer: same as Gemini but actually makes the pie or whatever and it's delicious

Leo: realizes the crackers are expired and submits to going out for more snacks

Virgo: eats half of a single sleeve meticulously salt side down as for the optimal flavor impact then patiently waits for dinner

Libra: hurriedly eats the crackers but realizes they are in fact stale and has a thirty minute debate on just eating them anyway

Scorpio: uses the crackers to make edibles completely forgetting that they ever wanted a normal snack until too late

Sagittarius: happily eats their crackers as it is their favorite snack and they keep them stocked in the kitchen

Capricorn: *orders door dash*

Aquarius: throws all the crackers in a zip lock bag, crumbles them up, then proceeds to sloppily eat it over the trash. They are drunk.

Pisces: pulls out a buffet of condiments and ingredients to create a trashy yet delicious charcuterie board

[figdays]

Zodiac Prints //  Berlin Michelle

Aquarius // Scorpio

Sagittarius // Libra

Virgo // Leo

Cancer // Gemini

Taurus

[horoscope101]

Signs That Bring out The Worst in a Sign

Aries: Cancer, Capricorn Taurus: Aquarius, Leo Gemini: Virgo, Pisces Cancer: Aries, Libra Leo: Taurus, Scorpio Virgo: Gemini, Sagittarius Libra: Cancer, Capricorn Scorpio: Aquarius, Leo Sagittarius: Virgo, Pisces Capricorn: Aries, Libra Aquarius: Taurus, Scorpio Pisces: Gemini, Sagittarius

(Requested)

[theozofia]

[fghjgkhsghkjg-deactivated202202]

this is horrible but its accurate .

[halfbakedastrology]

New Millennial Zodiac

March 21 - April 19: Depression

April 20 - May 20: SpongeBob Memes

May 21 - June 20: Impending sense of Doom

June 21 - July 22: The Spice Girls

July 23 - August 22: Debt

August 23 - September 22: Gay Rights

September 23 - October 22: Nintendo

October 23 - November 21: Vine

November 22 - December 21: Drugs & Alcohol

December 22 - January 19: Amazon Prime

January 20 - February 18: Nihilism

February 19 - March 20: The Flayed Corpse of God

[halfbakedastrology]

The Signs as Animals

Aries: Tiger

Taurus: Sloth

Gemini: Octopus

Cancer: Raccoon

Leo: Ostrich

Virgo: Black Bear

Libra: Hedgehog

Scorpio: Chameleon

Sagittarius: Starfish

Capricorn: Orangutan

Aquarius: Caribou

Pisces: Hummingbird

[halfbakedastrology]

The Signs as King of The Hill Characters

Aries: Cotton Hill

Taurus: Bill Dauterive

Gemini: Lucky

Cancer: Bobby Hill

Leo: Peggy Hill

Virgo: Boomhauer

Libra: Kahn Souphanousinphone

Scorpio: Nancy Hicks Gribble

Sagittarius: Dale Gribble

Capricorn: Hank Hill

Aquarius: John Redcorn

Pisces: Luanne Platter

[thesaltandpepperhoroscope]

Meet the nostalgia

Okay, so I LOVED this movie when I was a kid… so y’all are gonna get to be reminded of it too. And if you have never seen it, it is absolutely adorable.

Aires:

Taurus:

Gemini:

Cancer:

Leo:

Virgo:

Libra:

Scorpio:

Sagittarius:

Capricorn:

Aquarius:

Pisces:

[plutonian-grade-deactivated2019]

The Zodiac by Robin Eisenberg

[halfbakedastrology]

The Signs as Superheroes

Aries: Captain Planet

Taurus: The Thing

Gemini: Rocket Racoon

Cancer: Jean Grey

Leo: Static Shock

Virgo: Shazam

Libra: Robin

Scorpio: Starlord

Sagittarius: Iron Man

Capricorn: Wonder Woman

Aquarius: Mr Manhattan

Pisces: The Flash

[halfbakedastrology]

The signs as cereals? Lol. Please and thank you •XO•

Aries: Frosted Mini Wheats

Taurus: Cheerios

Gemini: Lucky Charms

Cancer: Fruity Pebbles

Leo: Apple Jacks

Virgo: Pops

Libra: Fruit Loops

Scorpio: Coco Puffs

Sagittarius: Cookie Crisp

Capricorn: Frosted Flakes

Aquarius: Cinnamon Toast Crunch

Pisces: Cap'n Crunch

[halfbakedastrology]

Smash or Pass

Aries: pass

Taurus: smash

Gemini: smash

Cancer: smash

Leo: pass

Virgo: pass

Libra: pass

Scorpio: smash

Sagittarius: smash

Capricorn: pass

Aquarius: pass

Pisces: smash

[halfbakedastrology]

The Signs as Pokémon Types

Aries: Fire

Taurus: Ground

Gemini: Psychic

Cancer: Water

Leo: Electric

Virgo: Steel

Libra: Normal

Scorpio: Dragon

Sagittarius: Fighting

Capricorn: Flying

Aquarius: Ice

Pisces: Fairy

[halfbakedastrology]

To all y'all screamin about ghost type, y'all do realize there's only twelve signs right? Where's this rock type fandom? The dark types? Poison!? But what of the grass stans!?

[halfbakedastrology]

The Signs as Lady Gaga Songs

Aries: Perfect Illusion

Taurus: Judas

Gemini: Applause

Cancer: Paparazzi

Leo: Telephone

Virgo: Edge of Glory

Libra: Born This Way

Scorpio: The Cure

Sagittarius: Alejandro

Capricorn: Venus

Aquarius: Just Dance

Pisces: Lovegame

[halfbakedastrology]

The Signs Bad Habits

Aries: Jumping to conclusions

Taurus: Not vocalizing your feelings

Gemini: Playing the victim

Cancer: Making mountains out of molehills

Leo: Not thinking of others feelings

Virgo: Disregarding new ideas

Libra: Leading people on

Scorpio: Bottling up anger and sadness

Sagittarius: Acting before thinking

Capricorn: Doing everything in excess

Aquarius: Relying too much on excuses

Pisces: Overextending yourself for others