lost in transition

[crazyasianqueen-blog]

What a difference a day, patience and forgiveness makes.

[crazyasianqueen-blog]

[crazyasianqueen-blog]

Fresh start

Today is a new day. The sun is shining and We are all laying in bed as she rolls around in between us talking and shrieking and lifting her head up in delight looking around...looking at daddy with a twinkle in her eye... These are my favorite moments of the day.

[crazyasianqueen-blog]

Beginnings of the ends

You know, when I thought to begin this, it was for the purpose of quieting down the noise in my head stirring about due to my insecurities being a new mother and new wife. As it turns out, the noise comes from a dark place in my past. I'm still haunted and can't move forward with my life Until I accept what happened and begin to forgive myself. My transition into this new life will not be possible until I allow myself to leave my past in the past where it belongs. Everytime a painful flashback of those days pops into my head I cringe as if it happened only yesterday. I'm haunted. I'm still embarrassed and I have never had closure. I don't even think I know how to achieve closure. All I know is that it is affecting me now in a very negative way. I hate myself as a mother. I don't deserve this beautiful, precious life I've been blessed with. Sometimes I wish. Everyday I pray for a new beginning. A fresh start with her where my slate is wiped clean and we can begin again at purity. But every day I tarnish it. I'm a monster. I need strength. I need help.

[crazyasianqueen-blog]

my sleeping beauty

[crazyasianqueen-blog]

2010 got married. got baby. 2011 omg. OMG!