I, myself, am strange and unusual.

I have entertaining dreams. I love my fandoms. Mostly Netflix Bright. I post lots of headcanons. 40, female, Cosplayer, tailor, my husband is my favorite person.

[stelmarias]

[marrymejasonsegel]

Audrey says “fuck your gender roles”

[there-was-a-girl]

This movie is super underrated.

[sailinginthetea]

Audrey is so underrated. How can you not love her?

[intersectionalfeminism]

I have a love-hate relationship with this movie. On one hand it’s got awesome PoC characters who defy racial and gender stereotypes. It also discusses colonialism and how people tend to destroy indigenous cultures to obtain land and resources (which is why the crew ultimately decided a to pretend they never found Atlantis because they don’t want anyone else to try and destroy the culture). But on the other hand, the whole plot is that Atlantis needs a white, cishet man to save it from extinction and for some reason he understand their culture and language better than they do.

[sun-spiral-deactivated20210109]

hEY FUCK YOU OKAY MILO WAS THE ANTITHESIS OF WHITE SAVIOR HE WAS A NERDY USELESS LITTLE SHIT WHO WAS COWARDLY UNTIL OTHERS FORCED HIM TO ACT HIS ONLY STRENGTHS WERE HIS MIND AND HIS ETHICS HE WAS THE PERFECT DUDE FOR THE JOB AND THE REASON HE KNEW BETTER WAS BECAUSE HE RIGOROUSLY STUDIED TEXTS THAT HAD BEEN LOST OR DESTROYED IN ATLANTIS BECAUSE KIDA’S FATHER INTENTIONALLY LET HIS KINGDOM LAPSE INTO DECAY AND OBSCURITY DO NOT PULL THAT WHITE SAVIOUR BULLSHIT BECAUSE MILO WAS A DAMN GOOD DUDE

[waltdisneyconfessionsrage]

I’ve been trying to tell people this for years. Also, what differentiates Milo’s experience from the white savior complex is his expectation and his attitude. When looking for Atlantis, the last thing Milo expects to find are people. He says the most they thought that they would find are carvings and pottery. And he would have been happy with just that.

And even when he finds the Atlanteans, he treats the culture and people with the utmost respect (peek the scene where the crew has their audience with the king). He never tries to interfere in the people’s way of life nor change them. He’s merely an observer fascinated with the culture/people and just wants to know more about them.

In most movies, the white savior comes into the situation with an attitude of superiority and only through his interactions with the native people (and a lot of times a beautiful native woman) is he humbled and then eventually brought in as an honorary member of the people. Milo never asks for thanks or wants to make a name for himself. He does what he does because he loves it and it’s a way to keep his grandfather’s legacy alive.

Yeah. Milo was a damn good dude.

[vanyel-or-just-van]

And another thing about Milo that’s made evidenced by this scene in particular? He’s got respect for women. He doesn’t ask why it’s a GIRL mechanic on the expedition, only why it’s a TEENAGER. Doesn’t question Kida’s leadership and knowledge when he meets her. (I can’t think of more examples off the top of my head but I’m sure they’re there).

Milo is a wonderful Disney protagonist, and this movie deserves the underground love it receives.

[somethingaboutblacktop-blog]

Visit Original Link

[the-ick-vault]

wow

External image

Jolene (33 R.P.M) - click for .mp3

Unsure where this came from, if not the palsied hands of the good Lord himself.

Simple premise: Dolly Parton’s “Jolene” slipped from 45 to 33 rpm. Nothing more; no studio trickery, no trip hop drum breaks. The guitar lopes back in and around itself. The bass becomes elastic, hot rubber. The violin stabs become sustained cello lines. The backing choir’s split harmony rattles around, slinking ghostly into the corner.  And most importantly, Parton’s once-frantic vocal is transformed from bubblegum country scrawl into something approximating field holler reverence. 

An already perfect song made transcendental..

[turtlessuggest]

Classes

FIghter

Barbarian

Paladin

Thief

Ranger

Bard

Wizard

Sorcerer

Warlock

Cleric

Edit: Almost forgot

Monk

Druid

[daddydomshouse]

[bardqueenofgallifrey]

so a racist got utterly demolished in less than 30 seconds on the New Zealand morning news on Monday and it’s one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen

who knew a white guy could be capable of such an iconic response, he knows what’s up and is having none of that shit, every other white guy take notes tbh

[han-j1]

I love that he said Pakeha

[littlereddove]

Can someone write what its being said in this?

[kc749]

Male co-host: We have had a whole heap of feedback regarding Te Tai Tokerau MP Kelvin Davis’s proposal to institute a prison run on Māori values into New Zealand. He’s looking at potentially establishing this prison up north. It isn’t Labour policy just yet, it’s just an idea of Kelvin Davis’s. And this has been really really divisive on our Facebook page this morning. (sarcastically) Here I think we have the single greatest email, the single greatest message we have ever had on breakfast.

(clears throat deliberately) “’Janice’ says: Good morning. I’m sick of hearing that Māori need different treatment. If they don’t want to live in our society, then maybe we should put them all on an island and leave them to it.”

Male co-host: “Janice. That is LITERALLY what happened! That is the history of our country. Last I checked, Māori WERE on an island, they were left to it, and then Pākehā (Māori term for white New Zealanders) turned up and look how that worked out. But thank you very much for that brilliant insight. Goodness me. Unbelievable. Unbelievable, they actually-“

Female co-host: “Actually, you can’t even get angry, you just actually need to laugh and then screw it up and put it under the desk. Just when you thought-“

Male co-host: (mimicking letter) “’Put them all on an island, leave them to it.’ Yeah. What a great idea that is Janice.

[dancinbutterfly]

I really need “What a great idea that is, Janice.” to be a meme filled with those stupid complete cognitive dissonance bigoted statements.

[johncribati]

[skyabove-voicewithin]

@some-kinda-sneaky-witch-thief oh my gOD

[glamdamnit]

My sister asked if the events of “The Labyrinth” are meant to be Sarah dreaming, or are they real? Although my primary reaction was that she shouldn’t put that much thought into any children’s movie (or any instance of David Bowie in tight pants), I’d like to take this opportunity to put so much thought into this children’s movie, that it’ll blow your mind.

So why is David Bowie kidnapping a child from an underage Jennifer Connelley?

In a time long long ago a sorcerer named Jareth fell in love with a girl named Sarah. Sarah’s father and step-mother would not let her marry Jareth because they wanted her to keep her, as a servant, to care for their other child. In a fit of rage Jareth kidnapped this other child and spirited it away to the fairy world. In this new world Jareth built a palace for his Sarah. He turned the spoiled child into a goblin, and kept it to be a servant.

Many stories of the fairy world tell us that time moves differently there than in our world (Rip Van Winkle for one). In the time it took for Jareth to build his kingdom, which he may have thought was little more than a few years, Sarah grew old and died.

Overcome by grief and addled by a lifetime spent in a strange world filled with monsters, Jareth goes mad. He refuses to believe that he has lost his love. He searches the mortal world from his castle, looking for her.

Sarah is Hebrew name. So, it is common, and has been in use for thousands and thousands of years. It does not take long (for him) to find a dark haired girl named Sarah, who has a younger sibling, and who feels that she is treated unfairly by her step mother. In a fit of rage he kidnaps this other child and spirits it away to the fairy world. Perhaps this new Sarah dies in the quest to find the child, perhaps she wins her sibling back and flees.

Jareth searches the mortal world from his from his castle, looking for her.  It does not take long to find a dark haired girl named Sarah…

This is how Jareth becomes the goblin king. Every goblin in the goblin city is a child Jareth has stolen, who was not recovered by a Sarah. (he told the current Sarah that Toby would become a goblin if she did not find him in time)

This is why he builds the maze. The magic bog, the junk yard of useless treasures, all tricks to slow Sarah down. Because if he can only have his Sarah for the time it takes for her to regain the stolen child, he will make it take as long as possible, keep her as long as possible.

This is why there exists in our world a book containing the story. Because it has happened before. So many times. At some point some lucky Sarah must have returned to our world to tell the story.

This is why when the most recent Sarah first meets Hoggle at the start of the labyrinth, and introduces herself; “I’m Sarah”, Hoggle responds “That’s what I figured.”

Because of course she’s Sarah.

They were all Sarah.

[galahadwilder]

Please picture the following

Wonder Woman greeting T’Challa with the Wakanda Forever salute, but forgetting what happens when she clashes her gauntlets like that

Accidentally blowing him through three walls, a car, and M’Baku

He is, of course, completely fine, but that was certainly not the greeting he expected from the suddenly VERY apologetic Princess

[trekmemes-deactivated20220205]

Bonus: T’Challa runs back to Diana and does the salute again, channeling the power from the improved kinetic absorption and redistribution on his suit, and launches Diana straight into the sky. They laugh about it later.

[theotheryongbok]

This is the wholesome content I signed up for

[knighthawkchapter]

Further bonus: during a later team-up, the villain has T’Challa by the throat and is threatening to snap his neck if Diana comes any closer. She hesitates, at which point the villain laughs and asks if T’Challa has any last words. Of course he does:

“Wakanda Forever…”

Diana just smiles…

[littlemissonewhoisall]

The cross continuity friendship we deserve 

[acknowledgeyousomebitches-deact]

[galahadwilder]

Someone made art!

[parlezvousladybug]

You are forgetting that during the initial introduction Shuri is there recording it, and dying laughing the entire time.

[illusionwaltz]

How well do you see color?

I’m cry I scored 60, I feel blind

[batter666-deactivated20180822]

so everyone is aware, a lower score on this means a better score.

[thegaybeany]

I got a 30!!!!!!!! Yes!

[blinkingkills]

7, but i’m an art student so

[crazydementeddreamer]

Interesting, going to have to take it again and see if it changes.

[cravefoodie]

Chocolate Covered Strawberry Brownies Fudgy Brownies:

7 ounces semisweet or bittersweet chocolate, chopped (or about 1 cup plus 2 tablespoons chocolate chips)

½ cup unsalted butter, cut into quarters

3 tablespoons cocoa powder

3 large eggs

1 ¼ cups granulated sugar

2 teaspoons vanilla extract

1 cup flour

½ teaspoon salt

Topping:

1 cup strawberries, diced

½ cup chocolate chips

1 tablespoon shortening

Instructions:

Preheat oven to 350 F. Spray an 8-inch square baking pan with non-stick cooking spray, set aside.

Using a double boiler, or a medium heatproof bowl set over a pan of almost simmering water, melt the chocolate and butter, stirring occasionally until smooth (see tips for melting chocolate). Whisk in the cocoa. Set aside to cool.

Whisk together the eggs, sugar, vanilla and salt in a medium bowl until combined, about 30 seconds. Whisk the warm chocolate mixture into the egg mixture, then stir in the flour with a wooden spoon until just combined.

Pour the mixture into the prepared pan, spread into the corners and level with a offset spatula. Bake 35 to 40 minutes, or until slightly puffed and a toothpick inserted into the center comes out with a small amount of sticky crumbs clinging to it. Cool on a wire rack to room temperature, about 2 hours.

When the brownies are completely cooled, spread the strawberries evenly over the brownies. Melt the chocolate chips and shortening together in a double boiler or microwave at 50% power level (refer to tips for melting chocolate). Pour evenly over the strawberries.

Refrigerate for at least 1 hour.

When ready to serve, cut brownies into one-inch squares.

[crazydementeddreamer]

I need this in the worst way!

[yourstarboymedo]

This is the best Marvel edit I’ve ever seen WOW!! ❤️

[crazydementeddreamer]

Love this!

[mrdsc1010]

So… Henry did that

[crazydementeddreamer]

And God Bless him for it. ❤️ ❤️

[sonrisan]

Y’all probably already seen this but this is like my fav video

[crazydementeddreamer]

Omfg! 😂😂

[gringoslur]

a man: men now have to think before they speak, they are afraid to be criticized or accused of something, can we believe that we have to live like this now?? uwu

all the women that had to grown up being super self-aware of what they wear, what they think, what they say, how they act, where they are, with whom, etc in every aspect of their life, all the time, in this sexist society (especially women of color, non-straight women and trans women): good. finally you all have to learn how to behave.  

[yellowxperil-deactivated2026012]

srsly tho this is absolutely a thing that dudes do all the f***ing time

like where if he knows a girl doesn’t necessarily want to give him a hug, he will trap her in this position in front of witnesses where she has 2 options- both of which are undesirable for her, while simultaneously desirable for him

if she doesn’t want to hug him, whatever she does, it will suck for her.

she can 1. say nah and be the fucking asshole in front of other ppl or 2. forsake her corporeal boundaries and allow unwanted intimate contact

it’s a f***ing trap

[bombchelle]

F***ing hate dudes forreal.

[poltxsexkitten]

too many f***ing times ugh

[potamideriver]

Story time. One day I was on the MAX (basically a giant street car that goes all over the metro area) on my way to meet up with a few friends. I didn’t look at anyone, I didn’t speak to anyone, I just stood to the side on my phone making sure I wasn’t going to be late to my meeting. Out of no where, this guy comes up to me and starts to chat me up. Me, being who I am, am absolutely terrified to tell this guy to f*** off. He was at least half a foot taller than me, and was way too bulky for me to fight back. So I suck it up at humor him, say hello. Before introducing himself or asking me for my name, he asks me out on a date. Not wanting to piss him off I try to make light of the situation and I laugh, telling him that my boyfriend wouldn’t like the idea, but thank you for the offer. He just shrugs and says, “He doesn’t need to know.” At this point I’m scared out of my mind. There’s this guy who, after seeing me run two blocks to catch the train, comes up to me and has made it perfectly clear that he wasn’t going to leave without getting something out of me. I deny him a second time, saying, “I don’t even know you’re name. We’re strangers, I don’t know you.” He finally introduces himself and asks me for my phone number. I tell him I don’t give my number out to people I’ve just met and he says, “Fine, but at least take mine so we can meet up later.” So he watches me plug his number into my phone (which I deleted as soon as I knew I was safe and away from him) as we’re pulling up to my stop. I tell him I need to leave and switch trains and he tells me, “Oh, I’ll wait with you. I don’t have any plans, so I’m in no rush.” It’s important to note what at this point he had previously told me that he was late to a job interview, but he has all the time in the world because he still hasn’t gotten what he wanted from me; a yes. I get off of the train and he follows me, and waits at the platform with me for over ten minutes until my train arrives, asking me all sorts of personal questions about where I live and where I was going that day. As soon as the train pulls up he grabs for me and says, “Do I at least get a hug before you go?” I was terrified. I was embarrassed. This dude, who before even asking me for my name asks me out on a date and then continues to harass me after I tell him I have a boyfriend, asks me for a hug only fifteen minutes after meeting. People around us were staring at me, as if I was being rude for denying him, and every inch of me was mortified. I wanted to run, but I felt like if I had done that he would have chased after me and things would have gotten worse. So I did, and he squeezed me so tight I felt like I was going to burst. It took me a good ten seconds to get him to let go and I ran to the train car just as the doors were closing. He was trying to get me to miss my train so I would have to wait with him even longer. I would have been stuck there for over a half an hour until the next train came by, and the platform (aside from the few buses coming by) was now COMPLETELY EMPTY. He knew EXACTLY what he was doing and he knew EXACTLY how to get me alone with him. People, if you are in a situation like this do not feel obligated to give in. If someone is making you uncomfortable and asks to touch you in any way, YOU DO NOT HAVE TO SAY YES. Make excuses, be blunt, just straight up say ‘no’. If possible, go to someone else near by who you think can help you and ask them to help you. It’s important for guys to learn that they can’t get what they want just by asking over and over again. I got lucky. But not everyone does. Please, everyone, Be Safe.

[d-o-llf-a-ce]

SECOND STORY TIME

So I was on the transit bus alone one time. This was my first time riding, and so already I was PETRIFIED. I sit down, pull out my ipod, and begin to play some games. This guy sits down next to me, and begins trying to have a conversation. I don’t really respond, I don’t even look at him, just give half-hearted “mhm”s and “oh”s, as I don’t want to be rude if he was just striking up a friendly conversation. He then asks me on a date.

Now, as I stated before, I already was absolutely petrified. My heart stopped and I didn’t know how to answer. So I just didn’t. He didn’t let up and I could feel his eyes on me. I quietly stammer out a “no thanks” and my stop HAPPENS to be coming up, so I pull the string thing to let the driver know I want to stop there, and once we stop and the doors open I get up and he asks me, “Well, can I at least have a hug before you go if you won’t go on a date with me?” 

This makes me break. There are now people staring, as we are the only people standing up and not getting off… So I just start crying. Hell, I am bawling almost instantly. He looks so fucking freaked out and people are now getting up to come over and comfort me/question him. I don’t stop crying, and he keeps trying to comfort me by touching me, and people are yelling at him for that. 

AND THEN. AND. FUCKING. THEN. THE GOD DAMN BUS DRIVER. A VERY EASILY 6 FOOT BURLY MAN. COMES OVER TO US. PULLS THE GUY AWAY. AND KNEELS DOWN. HE THEN ASKS, IN THE MOST CALM VOICE, “Did you request the stop?” I very slowly and shakily nod, as I am still crying my eyes out. He then asks, “Do you want to get off?” I give a quiet “mhm” and nod once again, and he offers me his hand. I take it, he stands up, and he escorts me off the bus. He asks me questions such as where I was going next, if I was going to meet someone shortly, if I was going to transfer buses from there. He was very polite and waited for me to answer the entire time, and my friend (who I was going to be meeting there) showed up. He asked me if this was someone I knew, I said yes, and he said alright, have a good day. He then told me- and this is something stuck in my mind forever, so it is word for word-

“If some guy EVER starts harassing you like that again, do exactly what you did there. Cry. Cry and scream and have a temper tantrum. Not only will it throw him off, but it will get others to notice. They might not interfere, they might, but you will have gotten their attention and if you happen to go missing the next day the search for you will be a hell of a lot easier because everyone in that location will have seen you screaming and crying with a guy now very awkward with his actions. They will know. That is what my daughter did, and three days after she went missing she was back in my arms. I pray for you and every other person like you who has this done. You stay safe now, okay?” And after I began blubbering again, I nodded and he left.

So this is the second lesson for yall. If you can not have the courage to say no or make an excuse, cry. Let out those sobs and tears and cry your heart out. Because it is going to make people notice and make people aware.

[cosmic-noir]

Reblogging for that second story. This might save a life.

[grumpybeardruid-archive-deactiv]

I just wanna note that bus drivers can be really amazing and good ones do look out for their riders.

[han-syolo-shot-first]

Also, as an additional tip (in case you cannot cry on command or such), you can say, “No, because you’re creepy/creeping me out” and if he persists or tries to laugh it off, say “I do not want to be touched” and look at one of the strangers/persons that is watching.

It: 1. Gives them a sense of urgency in the situation, as the eye contact is a way to make them feel as though you are personally asking for their help and it is now their obligation to help. 2. Contains words so that if you’re in a public place but people aren’t necessarily watching, then they (as natural evesdroppers) can overhear the attention-grabbing words and then notice the situation. Note, this does NOT mean that they will come for help, but you might be able to look someone in the eye (as previously mentioned) or just get some people’s attention. 3. It shows that you have fight in you. As with rapists, those who are physically aggressive (ie. these huggers) choose women they see as an easy target. The moment you show them you are going/willing to fight them, they are less likely to continue. Sadly, this is not always the case, but every little bit helps.

Hopes this also helps, guys, and I’m so sad that this has to even be a post we need.

[oxfordcommaforever]

Dudes who follow me: 1) reblog this 2) don’t be the creepy guy who asks random women for hugs 3) be aware of your friends or random creepy dudes and call them out if they act gross towards girls/womem

[midoriko-sama]

Ok, I wasn’t going to comment about this, because there was no way of doing it without talking about a part of my life I really didn’t want to. But fuck that, there be young girls out there who need a hand.

So I used to be hot when I was young. I mean, model hot, because I actually used to model. Even now, I’ve let myself go on purpose because I was tired of the harassment. But I fit a UK size 6 with a pert ass from volleyball and a cup c breast. As you can imagine, I couldn’t wear anything or go ANYWHERE without being harassed. I sometimes even happened in church.

Anyway, I’m not a shrinking lily, and when I get angry enough I can do some crazy shit. So here are some of my coping mechanisms:

1) find a matronly looking lady, run up to her with ‘aunt may! I haven’t seen you in ages! ’ then whisper ‘please help he’s harassing me!’. 99.9 times out of 100, she will be scandalised and help you anyway even if she’s annoyed or in a hurry. If no older lady is available, find a younger one, or a nun, or a trans lady. We of the sisterhood know what it is to be harnessed, and I guarantee if you look frightened enough, they will help.

2) If you are out alone at night, and someone is following you, spot a house or apartment where the lights are on and knock, asking ‘mum’ or ‘dad’ or ‘john’ to let you in. Even if the people inside are annoyed, odds are they won’t turn you away, and you can phone someone to pick you up, or phone the police from a safe space

3) Make noise. Cry and scream loudly, call them out ‘i don’t know you and you are terrifying me! Please get away from me!’ if there are people around. Even if they don’t help directly for fear of their own safety, someone around you is calling security or 911.

4) speak a foreign language. If you know it, speak the language to them fast and incessantly, like you have just met someone you knew and you’re just giving the best performance rant of why your OTP is the best OTP. Make yourself ANNOYING. Think about what would be awkward and annoying to you and make it what you do to them. If you make them think YOU are something to get away from they will leave you in peace.

Now beware, the following ones are the CRAZY ones and may not always work. But they are a valid last resort:

5) stare at them. Stare at them like you’re hungry and they are a hapless deer you’re going to tear to pieces. Like yours the girl from the ring emerging from the TV to kill them. Don’t smile, don’t change your expression. DON’T BLINK. Hold their state like you’re Wednesday Adams about to do unspeakable things to a spider, and they are the spider. Even the most courageous of stalkers balk at this, but if they don’t…

6) Use the Hannibal Lector. After staring at them for and extended period of time (imagine all the things that have made you scared, imagine you could get revenge on them for putting you here, that’s the thought you need to have), if they are getting closer to you, whisper something like ‘i would fry your liver in garlic’. Even the hardiest ones will be taken aback, but keep it up while making sure you don’t let the others hear you. Things like, occult star readings requiring blood, wondering whether he is the offering the spirits sent. If you’re on this site you’ve read some weird shit at least once. Tell him that. Tell him you would like him to meet your lord, Vlad the Impaler, who requires much blood to be appeased. Be a stereotypical ‘crazy bitch’ like they see in the movies. Believe it or not, this has worked for me twice.

Above all, banish the notion that you have to be polite.

They were impolite by approaching you. If you can, ignore them. If you are not alone, pointedly put headphones in your ear, and don’t make eye contact, wait for them to realise that ‘youre a bitch anyway’ and move away. If you are alone, evade and find places and ways to fix that as soon as POSSIBLE.

And if all else fails, summon Satan.

[prismatic-bell]

Something I have learned at work:

Never underestimate the power of a good “EXCUSE me????”

Legit. It makes people STOP IN THEIR TRACKS. This is the one I whip out when people start swearing at me over the headset and always, without fail, they stop what they’re saying, shocked.

Go for offended, and go for loud. Not yelling loud, but giving-your-best-presentation loud. “EXCUSE me??? You approached me two minutes ago, I don’t even know your name, and you want WHAT? Creep.”

For one, the presentation will shock them. For another, that indignant tone? EVERYONE AROUND YOU IS GOING TO WANT TO LISTEN TO THIS JUICY SHIT.

Now the second key here is, DON’T LET HIM JADE (justify, argue, defend, explain). He smiles and goes “I just wanted–” FUCKING INTERRUPT HIM. Firmly. Irritably. “I heard what you wanted, and I’ve already declined once. Maybe you should go back to kindergarten where they teach you no means no.” Run right over the fucker. He’s not respecting your words, you don’t need to respect his.

A further note: if you’re an iPhone user, you can use Siri to call 911. (I know Android has a similar function, but I don’t know what it is–play with your AI and find out.) If you’re in a secluded area, this works well; I used to walk home from work at 2am and had to do it twice. Make eye contact with your harasser, activate Siri, and loudly, firmly say “Siri, call 911.” Siri will immediately reply “calling emergency services.” (It actually takes five seconds to activate, but there’s a Call Now button if you need it.) Almost ALWAYS the person harassing you would rather take off than wait for you to get a dispatcher on the line.

[alleiradayne]

As they say on the podcast, My Favorite Murder:

Fuck Politeness.

[lyricwritesprose]

Note that speaking another language may not work for members of all ethnic groups.  I remember reading a Japanese-American woman who said that speaking Japanese, or pretending you didn’t speak English, would actually make some guys try a lot harder, probably because of Asian-fetishization bullshit.  There may be other pitfalls for other groups that I am not aware of, so tailor the advice to your own situation.

In general, though, fuck politeness, and fuck not making a scene.  Sometimes a big huge messy scene is exactly what you need.

[crazydementeddreamer]

My husband’s advice to every female-

DON’T EVER BE POLITE.

DON’T EVER BE FRIENDLY.

Be the biggest, nastiest fucking cunt any man has ever met. It’s the only way to keep yourself safe.

[khazadspoon]

I’ll Take Care Of You

@penflicks wanted some soft John/Maureen taking care of each other fic and this is what happened. I hope you like it!! Set mid/late season, after the Tar Pit.

John had been injured again. It wasn’t too bad, Judy had seen to that, but Maureen was still concerned.

They still didn’t know everything about the planet they were on. Even if the air was fine, even if they could eat some of the plant life, there were still unknown variables. Untreated wounds could get infected no matter where you were.

“I’m fine,” John insisted. But he didn’t move away from her as she stepped into the room, crossing it in long strides to examine him. “It’s just a scratch.”

Maureen dabbed again and raised an eyebrow at him. “And how did you get that cut?”

He paused, hesitated and looked down. “…by falling out of a tree.”

“And why were you up a tree?”

John sighed heavily, acting put upon, before reaching behind himself and producing a small succulent-like plant. “Getting you this.”

She grinned, her mind already working on the possible similarities between this plant and those back on Earth. There were tests forming in her mind in quick succession and she left the cleaning of John’s cut for a moment to take the plant and put it over on the desk.

“I knew you’d like it,” John said softly behind her. He rested his chin on her shoulder and wrapped his arms around her waist. “That’s why I climbed the damned tree.”

She turned in his arms and kissed his non-injured cheek. “Thank you, John,” she said softly. “Really. But you fell out of a tree.”

“And Judy checked me over. I’m fine. It really is just a scratch,” he reassured her with a roguishly handsome smile.

“Still…” She took his chin in her hand and turned his cheek towards her. Maureen trusted Judy, her daughter was a great doctor and would no doubt only improve with time and practiced, but this was her husband that was hurt. No matter how superficial the damaged, she had to know it was alright.

John seemed to sense that, his gaze softening and his body relaxing as she reached for the disinfectant and cotton swabs. “That stuff stings like hell,” he mumbled, even as he leaned against the counter and let her stand between his thighs.

“Yes, but it’ll keep you from getting an unknown infection.”

“Can’t argue with that…”

Maureen smiled. “Don’t even try.”

John laughed, that boyish grin returning and it was like falling in love all over again. She remembered a time when they were young and falling for one another for the first time, John leaning against a wall with a split lip and a bag of frozen peas against his cheek. “You should’ve seen the other guy,” he’d said, grinning and wincing as his lip started to bleed again, “he’s nowhere near as bad as this.”

Maureen had berated him, given him a tongue-lashing to set him back to rights before tending to his wounds as gently as she was now.

The contact between the disinfectant and John’s cut made him hiss but he didn’t shrink away. He put his hands on her hips and stroked the jut of her hip bones with his thumbs. When she moved a fraction closer, resting their lower halves together, he hummed in satisfaction and closed his eyes. Maureen continued to dab at the cut until she was satisfied it was clean. It didn’t need stitches, and it wouldn’t leave a scar, but the knowledge it was clean helped ease the anxiety that had been nestled between her breasts since Penny had told her what’d happened.

“There,” she said at last, “all done. You big brave boy…” She kissed his cheek, lingering to rub their noses together.

John sighed happily under his breath and ran his hands up her back. “Thank you.”

“Just… be careful out there, okay? If anything happened to you, I couldn’t-”

He hushed her gently, reaching up to take her face in his hands and make their eyes meet. “Hey, hey it’s alright. I’ll be more careful, I promise. No more climbing trees.”

She laughed, voice thick with emotion, before nodding. “I’ll hold you to that.”

“Maureen Robinson, you can hold me to whatever you want.”

[crazydementeddreamer]

D’aawwww!

Also, John would absolutely say something like that about a fight, I really did chuckle at that.

[kingwizardandthelizardgizza-blog]

Douglas Adams is the best when it comes to describe characters

[quasarkisses]

they need to teach classes on Douglas Adams analogies okay

“He leant tensely against the corridor wall and frowned like a man trying to unbend a corkscrew by telekinesis.”

“Stones, then rocks, then boulders which pranced past him like clumsy puppies, only much, much bigger, much, much harder and heavier, and almost infinitely more likely to kill you if they fell on you.”

“He gazed keenly into the distance and looked as if he would quite like the wind to blow his hair back dramatically at that point, but the wind was busy fooling around with some leaves a little way off.”

“It looked only partly like a spaceship with guidance fins, rocket engines and escape hatches and so on, and a great deal like a small upended Italian bistro.”

“If it was an emotion, it was a totally emotionless one. It was hatred, implacable hatred. It was cold, not like ice is cold, but like a wall is cold. It was impersonal, not as a randomly flung fist in a crowd is impersonal, but like a computer-issued parking summons is impersonal. And it was deadly - again, not like a bullet or a knife is deadly, but like a brick wall across a motorway is deadly.”

[nudityandnerdery]

And, of course: “The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don’t.”

[assassinregrets]

the one that will always stay with me is “Arthur Dent was grappling with his consciousness the way one grapples with a lost bar of soap in the bath,” i feel like that was the first time i really understood what you could do with words.

[marsdaydream]

I will reblog this every time I see it because these are some of my favorite sentences in the English language.

[ladyscientia]

Douglas Adams understands me

[gonebynow]

I have this planner with these absolutely ridiculous pages with like “motivational” quotes on them that are just these bullshit things like “Let your heart sing” and “Always believe in your dreams”

and like that’s always struck me as such meaningless bullshit, I’ve always hated those. They’ve never had that element that truly motivates me.

So, I took matters into my own hands and I made my own artsy motivational wallpapers. Enjoy.

[digitaldiscipline]

i may have new work wallpaper soon.

[titania-saturnine]

@cometthespacechinchilla

[crazydementeddreamer]

I love this so much!