peter burke is so funny bc he’s a completely normal guy except he’s been obsessed with two people to a point of stalking (his wife and the conman he chased for years) but it’s fine bc they’re just as obsessed with him 😭???
As more and more people are being forced to switch to Windows 11, Microsoft's most AI-malware-ridden OS yet, I've been putting together articles and links for how to undo the damage and save your battery, your RAM, your disk space, your privacy, and your sanity from this bullshit.
FIRST:
The easiest way to get rid of the majority of the bullshit that Windows is forcing on us, as of October 2025, is this one-stop-one-click debloat solution from a modern day hero:
A simple, lightweight PowerShell script to remove pre-installed apps, disable telemetry, as well as perform various other changes to customi
It's very easy, even if you're not tech savvy or get scared of pop up windows saying "ARE YOU SURE?" Yes, you are sure, I promise. This program takes maybe two minutes and will save you SO MUCH pain, time, and money (and exploitation).
Now that you've done that, here's the cleanup, to catch the little shit that the debloat might have missed (most of this will already be done by debloat, but hey, it's good to double check).
Microsoft wants to put AI everywhere on your PC, but you can take back control.
Even just reading about some of these features makes me angry. Fucking Copilot and "Discover" AI scrapers are in Notepad. NOTEPAD. And then there's this uncanny valley garbage:
No uncanny valley video calls for me, thanks! (Also, what else is it doing while it scans your face and listens to your calls? What else, microsoft? Because there was a lot of memory being assigned to this program for a simple "smooths your skin" add on).
Tired of Microsoft pushing ads throughout Windows 11? Here are the settings you can tweak to turn them off and reclaim some privacy.
The truly insane number of places they have stuck ads on your own home computer is sickening. Become Unmarketable.
Bonus:
Some background programs you probably don't need that are taking up space and how to remove them (Microsoft forums, 2024)
Your Samsung Galaxy Phone comes with 22 apps you don't need (Android Police, 2025)
How to disable the AI in firefox (still the only browser that lets you do this permanently) (Windows Report, 2025)
it's a good thing mensah is already married with kids by the start of all systems red because can you imagine trying to make a new longterm relationship work when you have to explain to potential partners that murderbot will be there. no not romantically or sexually. but it is there.
I wish depression were an emergency. I wish someone could take one look at how sick I am and go “oh my god, we need to get you to a hospital!” and then when we get there I get rushed into surgery and the surgeons say “it’s a good thing you brought her here when you did, this is a seriously advanced case” and then they put me under and spend the next ten hours pulling metres of long, sticky black strands of gunk out of my body, throwing it immediately into an incinerator so that it can’t infect anyone else. And then they could stitch me back up and I could rest a few days, and when I leave the hospital everyone can see how much better I am and they congratulate me saying “well done, you’ve been so brave, I’m so glad you’re ok. I love you.”
Man that weirdly pretty queercoded villain sure is tenderly cradling the brash hero's unconscious form huh. Gently tilting his head to drip medicine into his mouth. I mean yeah he is saying that this is only because we need to temporarily team up to defeat a word bad guy and the hero isn't allowed to die until they have their epic rematch but uh. Um.
We have to make the trek up to the King of Destruction's castle and hope the hero wakes up en route because it's going to take us a while to get there, and every minute we wait is another minute while the King of Destruction accumulates the power to destroy the world. Luckily I know how to make a stretcher.
I tried to offer him the stretcher several times AND suggested he at least sling the hero over his back but he says he doesn't want to impede the medicine taking effect. Is bridal carry really necessary for that...?
The hero's girlfriend is staying behind. She says she'll pray for us. I get that she's not really a combatant so it kind of makes sense but... I mean. Just speaking for myself I'd uh. Want to keep one eye on things, y'know?
The hero's perverted drunken mentor asked me to keep an eye out for the villain's betrayal in a rare moment of sobriety, but he's also staying behind to help "protect the village". I'm pretty sure that if we fail the King of Destruction will just obliterate the place in an instant though?
So looks like it's just me, the villain, the villain's hench goblin, and the unconscious hero marching up to the onyx castle that has wyverns pouring out of it.
I volunteered to fight most of the wyverns. I said it was so the villain could conserve his strength for the fight against the King of Destruction, so now it's just me and the hench goblin walking up ahead, trying not to listen to all the flowery stuff the villain keeps saying to the unconscious hero.
This hench goblin's pretty tough. He likes my ration bars too. Kind of nice, normally the others are always just complaining about my rations and how they taste bad. Beggars can't be choosers on the road, though!
Actually this trip might not be so bad. Hench goblin's name is Toady, which seems kind of degrading but I don't know enough about goblin culture to say anything. He says he serves the villain because his people owe the guy a big debt for saving their village. I wouldn't have thought that guy was the type to save a village, but goblins do have it pretty rough these days. I can definitely believe a goblin village was in need of saving!
The hero doesn't like heading to those parts of the map though. Says there's nothing worth going there for. I don't think he understands how hard some of the greenfolk have it.
Toady asked what my "employment contract" was, and I told him that I travel with the hero because he's my friend. He asked if I got paid and when I said no, he said I should "look into a union"...?
We made it to the onyx castle where the King of Destruction is. The villain finally put down the hero and started fighting the King while Toady and I dealt with even more wyverns. We had to guard the hero until he woke up, but luckily he opened his eyes right when it seemed like the King of Destruction was gonna turn the villain into paste, and then he dramatically rushed in and deflected the energy blast. Now the hero and villain are fighting back-to-black. Not that I can see much of it, through all the swirling energy blasts and exploding wyverns!
Toady said we should retreat. I told him I couldn't just leave my friend to deal with all of that but then a stray blast from the hero's sword broke the ground underneath our feet. We got flung down the mountain but Toady used this magical shield item to keep us from dying. Whew!
There was no way we were going to be able to make it back up the mountain again after that, so I prepared Toady a last meal in case that was the end of things for us. When everything started shaking I was afraid it would be, Toady and I were literally clinging to each other, but then the King of Destruction collapsed into all these black motes and his castle crumbled. So I think we're good?
The hero and villain made it back. Well, actually the hero made it back, but Toady and I went and found the villain's collapsed form near the crumbled castle and brought him down as well. Finally used the stretcher!
Hero scolded me for setting up camp. Says I'm always thinking with my stomach. Normally I just laugh that stuff off but it bothered me more this time for some reason...
The villain's still unconscious. Toady and I are carrying him on the stretcher together, the hero wants to get back to his girlfriend and check on the village as soon as possible. I hope none of the wyverns made it that far down, but I'm pretty sure Toady and I got them all when were heading up!
Toady is taking the villain further on back to the goblin town, I offered to help him but he says he's going to contact some other goblins to do the work and it'd be against union rules otherwise. Hero wanted to lock the villain in prison, but I pointed out that he helped save the village, so it was probably better to just let them go.
Toady gave me a magic crystal. Said I could use it in an emergency to contact him. For some reason I don't want to tell the hero about this. I don't think he'd like it. So I'm keeping it to myself.
I gave Toady all the wyvern meat I was able to gather on our way up to the castle. It's all good, I preserved it in my specialty bags. The hero caught me but he just made a joke about wyvern meat constituting a type of biological warfare.
One of the effect of elementary watson being a woman on sherlock is that hes always making caveats about murder suspects like a man caved his skull in. Or a woman. women can also cave skulls in 👍 he set the building on fire. Or she. I would never imply women cant set building on fire
ugh we need more manipulative characters that aren’t evil. lie and cheat and steal for a good cause. control every narrative. use narcissism for justice. ruin all of your personal relationships for the good of the mission.