Fragments

Call me Mel. skitzofreak on AO3

[ageofthegeekdotcon]

[json-derulo]

the past three weeks in a row, partner has gone to chipotle and been served by the same employee who, in bold defiance of the testimony of his own eyes and ears, ardently refuses to believe carnitas exist

[json-derulo]

partner: “Hi, could I please have a bowl with white rice, black beans, and carnitas?”

employee (completely blank expression): “No.”

partner (autistic) (socialscript.exe encountered an unhandled exception) : “…Uh. Um. Sorry?”

employee: “We don’t have that.”

partner (wondering if perhaps he put too much of the authentic accent on the word and that’s what’s throwing the guy): “You don’t have…(pronouncing it whiter) carnitas?”

employee (face still unreadable): “No.”

partner (looking at the near-full hotel pan of perfectly normal carnitas in its usual place on the other side of the glass) (noticing this employee looks unfamiliar) (maybe he’s a new guy that just started five minutes ago with no training?) : “The…pork?” (pointing at it)

employee: “We don’t have pork.”

partner (beginning to wonder if he’s the one that’s losing it) (desperately looks to the menu on the wall behind the employee) (the menu lists carnitas as a protein option) (the word “carnitas” is not crossed out or taped over or otherwise adulterated) (carnitas have been on the standard menu since at least 2016) : “Okay. Um. Are you…sure?”

other employee working the toppings part of the line (familiar) (have seen her before) (she has cool earrings): *gives the new guy a strange look, nudges him aside, and scoops the carnitas onto partner’s bowl before continuing with the other toppings*

Repeat conversation again the next week. And the next. Same guy. If it’s a bit, no one is laughing, including the employee.

[json-derulo]

theories I’ve considered:

- the employee keeps very strictly kosher/halal/vegan and refuses to handle pork (understandable, I respect that, but if you’re gonna work at a place that serves pork I do kinda feel like when someone orders it you’ve just gotta tap in a coworker to do it for you)

- someone did something gross to the carnitas and the employee is trying to warn people not to order it (??? throw it out then? also, three weeks in a row???)

- the employee is a space alien who views humans as so similar to pigs that for us to eat them is tantamount to cannibalism

[json-derulo]

- the employee is the lead in a kdrama romance about a pampered, clueless chaebol heir who is sent by his father to work in the company’s restaurants for a year in order to prove he’s ready to take over as CEO. he’s dumb as rocks but they can’t fire him or even correct him that harshly due to the power gradient. partner is just a minor reoccurring character, and the interaction is kept the same from week to week to highlight the development of the relationship between the employee and his love interest with the cool earrings (even if the restaurant is literally a fully-branded Chipotle, that’s somehow still not enough product placement for me to believe this is a real kdrama)

[json-derulo]

After reviewing again with partner, evidently I forgot a detail that set this week’s carnitas denial dance apart from the others.

partner (well aware of what he’s getting into with this guy now): “Hi. Could I please have a bowl with white rice, black beans, and pork?”

employee: “We don’t have pork.”

partner (demonstrating a level of patience only a public school teacher could have): *points at the pan of carnitas* “Could I please just have some of that?”

employee (after several slow, confused blinks): *points at the same pan* “That’s steak.”

partner (looking at the hotel pan they’re both pointing at) (it is filled with shredded meat of a pale beige color) (at the other end of the row of pans is another pan containing dark brown, lightly charred meat chopped into small pieces): “Okay.” *deciding he’s willing to play in this fantasy space if it gets the job done, he points at the first pan again* Then could I please have the steak?”

employee: *starts to reach for the pan at the other end containing the actual steak*

partner: "Oh—no, sorry, this one please?" *points at the first pan containing the carnitas*

employee: *blinks, then just walks away and starts helping the next customer in line, leaving partner's bowl unfinished*

other employee with cool earrings: *rolls her eyes at new employee, takes partner’s bowl, and fills it with carnitas herself*

new theories:

- the employee is a bridge troll who will only dole out his delectable carnitas to those who prove themselves worthy by correctly answering his riddles three

- the employee is stoned out of his mind at all times on a specific strain of weed that totally erases the concept of pork from his memory and awareness

[json-derulo]

A few additional updates/clarifications:

Mr. Eternal Bluntshine of the Porkless Mind isn't the first idiosyncratic cryptid Partner has encountered at this particular Chipotle. He joins the illustrious ranks of The Lobster Mobster and 300 RPM Matthew McConaughey

Partner says he does not actually mind dealing with this unskippable cutscene every time because A) he finds it amusing and B) on one occasion, after Cool Earrings's intervention, the new employee checked him out at the register, and he rang up the bowl clearly labeled "CA-Q" (carnitas with queso) as chicken, which made it slightly cheaper

Some of my favorite possible explanations from the tags:

[unidentifiablelifeform]

Copenhagen is adapting to a warmer world with rain tunnels and 'sponge parks'

Copenhagen is expected to receive 30% more rainfall by the end of the century. The city is responding with a massive long-term adaptation pl

Also check out these two stories on sponge cities...

Los Angeles Just Proved How Spongy a City Can Be

As relentless rains pounded LA, the city’s “sponge” infrastructure helped gather 8.6 billion gallons of water—enough to sustain over 100,000

Making cities 'spongy' could help fight flooding — by steering the water underground

Almost all of China's medium and large cities are susceptible to floods. Some experts are promoting a solution called sponge cities — urban

[pale-blue-home]

A quote from the NPR article does such a great job of describing this: “working with environmental processes rather than against them.” Hopefully we see these techniques sprouting up in even more cities in the future! Nature has the blueprint, we just have to get back in touch with it. 😉🌱

[homoquartz]

i’ve warmed up significantly towards the concept of small talk ever since i learned that its sole purpose is to make friendly noises.

as long as you smile and nod, people are satisfied. it’s just to show that you are nice and there with good intentions. we’re small in a big world and have to rely on other people to be decent to us. so we do our little human dance to each other to say, “i’m not here to hurt you. here’s something we have in common, like the weather or sports or itchy sweaters, so we both know we’re on the same team. we both agree on a basic fact, like that it is rainy or that being itchy is uncomfortable, and this proves we can get along. i’m being light-hearted and non-threatening right now.”

small talk isn’t to get to know a person. it’s just a greeting to affirm you’re buddies in the universe.

i am motivated by wanting the other person to know i am friendly, so i have gotten pretty decent at small talk when i used to hate it.

[piratedgender]

[themisally]

[caoten]

wanna hear a wild story? my brother’s history professor is closing in on 80 and basically lives at the university. one night my brother visited him for a meeting, and it came up that my brother was gonna be performing as a court jester at the castle the following day. and his professor busts out: “ah, that reminds me of my youth!”

he then proceeded to tell the tale of when he and his friends went backpacking to greece back in their early 20s. then one day they found themselves completely penniless. so they decided that the only reasonable thing to do was to set up acrobatic shows in skimpy outfits on the beach at day, and then drink up the money at night.

after a week or so they gained some traction, and a gang of young greek men walked up to them like “hey y’all are cool as hell, can we join y’all for drinks tonight?” and my brother’s professor was like “of course! y’all have to wear these revealing outfits and do somersaults with us tho” and the greek gang said “sounds dope. y’all are invited to live with us for however long y’all want.”

anyhow, they proceeded to live like this for the better part of 3 months, doing shows, drinking, and sleeping at the greek gang’s apartment. but after a while they decided enough was enough, and said thank you for everything, but we’re going back to sweden now. and the greeks said “sure! love y’all have a safe trip xx”

half a year later my brother’s professor gets contacted by the greek police. they ask him about the months they spent in greece, and then informs him that their greek friends have been convicted of serial homicide and robbery. that the group of young greek men had joined up with several tourist groups for several years “for drinks”, and then killed and robbed them all, terrorising the beach city for several years. with one exception, of course, because “this one group of swedish acrobats in slutty strongman suits were just ‘so damn nice’”.

and that’s the story of how one swedish history university professor survived sharing a flat with a group of serial killers for several months by performing acrobatics in slutty outfits on the beach. moral of the story? be kind of heart, thicc of ass.

[azem-ghale]

[ellielaine]

Holy shit did that take a turn

[atoafriend-archive]

“The Banner Saga Medley,” featuring Taylor Davis and Malukah, the solo violinist and vocalist for the original soundtrack of The Banner Saga by Austin Wintory.

[reckless-glitch]

[ramblingandpie]

[Video description: Gritty is turning the crank on a flagpole to raise the Progress Pride Flag. He gesticulates angrily that the flag is not blowing in the wind, then gestures offscreen. The flag begins blowing. As Gritty begins raising the flag more, the camera pans out to show a man in a suit and sunglasses, looking like a stern Secret Service agent, is holding a leafblower that points at the flag. End description.]

[radlite]

A big reason why I think I became a marxist is bc I read A LOT of Calvin & Hobbes and Bill Watterson really went out of his way to lay the groundwork for teaching people critical analysis. Like take this panel for example:

EVERYTHING one knows about American/Western culture, especially in the late 80's/early 90's, would lead to the logical next line being some form of "Kids These Days Are Succumbing To The Evils Of Satan" or some likewise cheap Reaction™ But then Bill pulls the rug out

He criticizes the "satanic" bands not for some lack of christian morals but because theyre a byproduct of hyperconsumptionist culture. Bill takes no issue with the subject matter bc his issue is knowing its only being done to sell rebellion as a consumer product rather than to say anything truly provocative or inspired.

[melyzard]

I get a tiny bit shirty with people who whine that Calvin and Hobbes was "too intellectual to enjoy" because as a kid I had never even heard of Marx and could not have told you what communism actually was but I knew this joke was funny because the "they are just faking it for money" is a concept that children can grasp just fine, actually. And also the mom casually using terms like "ritualistic suicide" was intensely funny to my 10 year old brain because *my* mom used weird euphemisms for everything and it was hilarious to have an adult just say words like that.

[romanitas]

running in my bloodstream

summary: Jyn is not beefing with a baby. She is having a perfectly normal reaction to her friend's baby. Her parental trauma is not a factor.

several months ago a silly meme was posted by @rogueonememes and i was inspired. featuring jyn erso & shara bey friendship, established rebelcaptain, and conversations about children and parents. rating/word count: t / 6621

Jyn Erso is absolutely not beefing with an infant.  She is happy for Shara, she is glad to see the way the woman’s face lights up and laughs as baby Poe squirms in her arms. Shara and Kes are obsessed with their son, and they love sharing him with others, so Jyn has been around him often already, even if she tends to keep her distance. She’s not avoiding her turn holding the baby, it just hasn’t come up yet. Like it’s a task to check off her to-do list. Other things take priority.  She’s not the only one. She hasn’t seen Cassian hold him either. It means if she noticed, he’s definitely noticed it on her end, but he hasn’t brought it up. He has a tendency to push her to talk, and she hates it about half the time, but he’s also allergic to talking in his own way, so whatever this strange solidarity is, she’ll take it for now. Because she’s not mad at a kriffing baby. He’s just a baby. Jyn likes babies well enough, even if she’s a little awkward around them. Sometimes she finds kids easier to talk to than adults, but mostly because she talks to them just like adults always talked to her, and she turned out fine, thank you very much Bodhi. Bodhi disagrees. Cassian does not. They outvoted him, and he threw his hands up in exasperation.

( read entire work on ao3 )

[prof-grace-aspen]

Rent-lowering gunshots:

QUEER IS NOT A SLUR

We reclaimed it way back in the 1980's. It is the accepted term used in academia, in colleges and universities ALL OVER THE PLACE.

I can't believe we have to have this discussion AGAIN. During PRIDE month.

[motherwife]

i wont hatepost but sometimes it does feel like this to scroll fandom tags

[omegaversereloaded]

Has anyone thought of putting 80s music in a movie

[melyzard]

[grass-skirt]

Character Development

Then:

Now:

[reggiemess]

Cannot stand the trend of censoring any and all words that describe concepts that might make you go :( especially when the censoring is done in that quarter-assed way that's just 'did a lil scribble over a vowel so you know that I know this word describes a no-no."

I'm not even going to be vague about what sparked this. Do not fucking censor the word 'stole.' I'm at my fucking limit.

[reggiemess]

Who does this benefit. Who is made safer by this. Whose life is made better by this. Who is out there going "Wow I sure am glad I didn't have to see that word without it scribbled on a little. That really reduced the emotional impact of reading that word." Can I kill them?

[melyzard]

I think they are trying to cut out the AI crawler that they are certain is going to tattle on them to The Algorithm, which will send them directly to jail for saying a no-no word. Captchas have convinced people that machines cant read scribbly words, even though billions of interactions have now spent decades telling them how.

[whereareyourightnow]

ROGUE ONE: A Star Wars Story

[izzyhill]

[camiekahle-deactivated20190815]

THIS IS THE BEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN

[macncheese-blog]

I’VE BEEN TRYING TO FIND THIS FOR SEVEN YEARS

DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW HARD IT IS TO ?????

[melyzard]

[kaioty-summer]

Hey, did y'all see this?

I saw this when running newpipe. But wait, it gets deeper. I clicked on the details buttons and it said as of today, we have 83 days left until Google rolls out this new requirement for apps inside and outside of the google play store. If any developer disagrees with their new terms and fees, they will be blocked!

I'll share some of the info below:

Looks like they're trying to nuke the remaining privacy and freedoms we have left on the internet.

What to do?

-Get your developer friends to not comply to their new guides

- Sign the open letter on the site and take action by checking out the full resources list on their website as well!

To summarize, this is all daunting especially when you feel all alone with unfair and inhumane regulations comming out faster than improvements but we got this working together!

Share the link with your friends, family and anyone who will listen!

Your phone is about to stop being yours. In September 2026, Google will block every Android app whose developer hasn't registered with them.

[yellowmagicalgirl]

If you're in the US, I created a petition to make it easier to contact senators and congressmen.

Google Wants To Control Our Phones

Join 1 people. Google is trying to make people hand over government id in order to make an Android app. If they don't, then that app can't b

If you're not in the US, see if your country is listed here for whom to contact.