It Can Think

who let it into society

[creatureofmanythoughts]

Happy Halloween, people of tumblr

[creatureofmanythoughts]

Imagine if one astronaut dared another to take a bite of the moon and the moon was like, really tasty, but astronauts knew that the tastiness was so vast that it would become so popular that it’d probably result in us eating the whole moon and that’s the reason why people going on the moon is so restricted, because the moon is simply too delicious and we aren’t ready.

[emerald-branches]

Ok so back of the napkin math because the post is really nice but I wandered how much of this delicious delicious moon I would eat.

Apparently the width of a human mouth is 48 mm but lets just round that to 50. And a mouth is kind of like a sphere so we can say the volume of the maximum human bite is the volume of a sphere with diameter of 50mm.

0.00000000000006545 km^3 is the volume of a human bite. In kikometres cause the moon is big.

The volume of the moon is

Thanks Wikipedia

So that written out is

21958000000 km^3

We divide that by the size of of our human adult bite aaaand

Wowzers.

That is 334,592,742,551,000,000,000,000 or as I call it three hundred thirty-four sextillion five hundred ninety-two quintillion seven hundred forty-two quadrillion five hundred fifty-one trillion bites we can take out of the moon.

If I was eating this by myself and taking a bite a second it would take me 1.06026e+16 years. If all 8 billion people on the world currently started chomping the moon, it would take us 1,325,325 years.

So we would have the moon for an appreciable amount of time but sheer human spirit does dictate we would lose the moon before the sun expanded and ate the delicious moon itself.

[creatureofmanythoughts]

Welp, you heard them, let’s get chompin, no time like the present! End world hunger, eat the moon.

[creatureofmanythoughts]

They should make edible credit cards in case of emergency. Or just entirely edible wallets. Like if I’m being mugged I want to just shove my wallet in my mouth and have the mugger be really pissed that I outsmarted them with the power of non-toxic wallet. Like it’d be a pain to get them all back, but I feel that the moment would be worth it.

[creatureofmanythoughts]

Imagine if one astronaut dared another to take a bite of the moon and the moon was like, really tasty, but astronauts knew that the tastiness was so vast that it would become so popular that it’d probably result in us eating the whole moon and that’s the reason why people going on the moon is so restricted, because the moon is simply too delicious and we aren’t ready.

[creatureofmanythoughts]

It is highly unfortunate when I’m in a fandom and I’m in the fun obsession phase and I want nothing more than to info-dump and share EVERY THOUGHT I HAVE with the people I know and see their thoughts but then I am driven to a slow insanity by the fact that either no one else knows or likes these things and thus I have to live in my own brain with this knowledge giggling to myself as the irrelevant information that brings me joy vigorously bounces around in my brain clogging up storage like a large quantity of very sped up DVD logos blocking anything with real value

[creatureofmanythoughts]

I think it’d be nice to have a pet inchworm. Like have we ever considered genetically modifying the inchworm to be a bit bigger? Like the size of a rabbit. I want to have my own little guy who goes

___

_n_

___

And we could go on little inch walks and it would go on the ceiling and I’d say “Kelser if you don’t get off the ceiling-” and I’d feed him leaves and it would be a beautiful life. Who really cares about bringing back dire wolves, give me large inchworm then we’ll talk.

[creatureofmanythoughts]

I think in this day and age I feel I should be able to eat more things. Like don’t get me wrong the vast tasty array of chemicals have expanded things a lot. You ever see that guy making a clear bagel? I like him. But I feel like as I age I should have, like, unlockable materials that are now edible. The last level should be Micheal Lotito. Old people can eat planes. They’ve earned it.

[creatureofmanythoughts]

It’d be funny if the fastest runners, like Olympic sprinters, could run like roadrunner, but with real consequences. Imagine Usain Bolt in his prime about to obliterate some speed record and all of a sudden his legs begin to blur into circles, he screams (they have come out of their sockets, propelled by sheer speed) and then stops post-finish-line, horrified but relieved that his legs are back to normal and are no longer speeding tornadoes.

[creatureofmanythoughts]

Oh to have a crow army in olden times. One of these days I will travel back in time to sit in a large park or other place with crows and I will gain their trust by scattering crow feed around myself and repeat this one to two times a week until they follow me. I will cause a stir. They will say I am an omen of the devil as I walk by with happily trotting crows by my side and all I will do is smile and throw crow feed at mine enemy Abe who refused to play me in poker due to my reputation and he will scream and my crows will feast on the feed and he will fall to the ground and I will say “This is what happens when you do not let me in, Abe” and once he has been thoroughly pecked at I will decide he has learned and toss crow feed the other way, skipping merrily.

[creatureofmanythoughts]

I feel like it’d be really funny if one of these times I breathe too deeply and my lungs decide to ignore the barrier of my rib cage and just clip through them and all of a sudden I have lungs outside of my body but also in my body and I cannot stop, it’s like my mouth is a vacuum and after a few hours of voiceless lung expansion I begin to float because I am more lung balloon than person and it’s so beautiful that it causes me to shed a tear of awe.

[creatureofmanythoughts]

I think that if I bought a ton of krill, like, an insane amount (a krillion, if you will) and fed them cocaine and they didn’t die I could selectively breed my own loyal krill army kind of like how they did with soldiers in WW1 and 2, but since they need such a small amount of the cocaine I could sustain their supply, not leading to the drug crashes of the soldiers at war. After a while of doing this I could make them carry me through the sea until they would spot an underwater treasure chest and have them hoist it to shore so I may become rich with doubloons and I could then become the worlds first krillionaire, a billionaire funded by my very own cocaine krill army