Cress-From-Omen

The funny large dog from Team Omen.

[cressfromomen]

I suppose an introduction is in order.

My name is Cress Evergreen, and I’m part of Team Omen as their “jack-of-all-trades”. I specialise in farming and foraging outside of dungeoneering, so if you see me around Embark or in the gardens, say hi!

I also function as the team's cook during big expeditions, though honestly, it is very hard to get the others to eat properly. I’ve found easy to eat snacks to be best, considering Bea is still quite young, and Banni is hard to keep down for even a moment of rest. Jaze is good, though, very easy to cater to with minimal fuss.

I like working with these three. Despite any arguments, we usually can come to an agreement on things. Bea is smart for her age and has a good heart, Banni is a little chaos gremlin but helpful to a tee, and Jaze has been instrumental in our delves. I hope we can continue to travel together, though they might need some training in proper foraging. Watching the three of them try to pick berries from a tree is hysterical but maddening!

I’ll finish this off before I ramble too much with a good bit of advice from Grandpa Tropia: Do the best you can and live well.

[cressfromomen]

//Hey all, CressfromOmen is gonna go on a extended break for a while, I have tried to keep this going but I'm pretty burnt out due to a lack of sessions. In the meantime MergmartQnA, my other blog, will still be active with a few posts here and there, so pop over and give it a sqizz!

//Hope to see ya'll around Aschimos again soon!

[cressfromomen]

Okay okay, I should iterate that the guy running 24 hour shifts was Bell, the Bronzong. He literally signed up for them during the festival rush cause the normal group who'd be doing gate duty, organised by drawing straws, were out harvesting before the winter set in. Bell was pulling three 24 hour shifts back to back and while he was "tired" it was more boredom than actual exhaustion.

[cressfromomen]

This recipe is pretty old, from back when I was around twelve, maybe thirteen? Anyway, it started with the day after a Harvest Festival. Everyone was pretty worn out, so the whole village was on low energy. Lots of sleeping, barely any planting going on, the usual after festival vibes. It was my first one as Potmaster as well, so I was worn out. I decided my best bet was to nap under the branches of Great Uncle Willow in the graveyard.

Turns out, the whole village was being watched by a pair of bandits who decided out of all the Pokèmon to kidnap, the abnormally large eevee was the best target. To their credit, they did a fantastic job. Got me when I was dead asleep, bundled me into a handcart and hauled me across the back fields to a cave hideout. We still laugh about it to this day.

Anyway, when I woke up, expecting lovely branches and sun, I got cave wall and a burnt smell accosting my nose. Turns out the “team” who got me for ransom money decided that this was the time to cook food while discussing how they’d get money for me. This involved cooking stale bread on a hot stone with nothing else, and then coal roasting berries till they were black. I’ll admit, I got a little upset.

Okay, I got Syncronoise upset.

After the initial shock of getting blasted by enough psychic energy to put down a rampaging Ursaring, we sat down and had a chat. Turns out these two dolts, a Marowak named Tibia and a Bronzor named Plate, had travelled from beyond the south mountains with barely a plan and no money, and ended up becoming bandits after their stash of food got stolen by someone else. Turns out it was the Cute Club who found their food stash and brought it back to town, thinking they’d done some huge favour. I decided to make them food while we talked, while also coming up with the idea of them joining the town as guards as an easy job to earn some money and residency (we had one guard running 24-hour shifts and the poor guy was ragged.) Anyways, this is that recipe I came up with while we chatted about the state of things.

Charred Berry Mash (on Toasted bread with Honey)

Ingredients:

- 1 large berry, cook’s choice

- Bread, sliced thick

- Wild honey

Method:

1. Skewer berry on a stick and carefully roast over flames till the skin is just charred. Keep them away from the coals, otherwise you’ll end up with burnt tasting berries.

2. Heat a large flat stone and toast bread, slather top with honey and flip. Cook until honey caramelises and bread is crispy.

3. Cut berry into equal chunks and mash over the honeyed side of the bread. Serve and enjoy.

I know it’s a rather simple dish, but friendships are forged from simple things, not grand gestures. To this day Tibia stands proud as our day shift Gate Guard, and Plate works alongside Bell to keep our unruly sorts in the jail. We always share a bite to eat whenever we meet, and remember fond days of new friends and stupid reasons to kidnap sleepy eevees.

[cressfromomen]

Okay, say theoretically the Vault at the guild got accidentally turned into a dungeon due to someone dropping an unbound Entrcard in, and say theoretically that I had a jar of my family's dough yeast that was specially made from cultures dating back 4 generations of Evergreens stored on one of the shelves cause the Vault was the coolest spot in the whole guild.

What's the likelihood that the resultant dungeon has a floor entirely made of bread?

I know its an insane prospect, but the Distortion has done weird stuff. We found a cactus living in what was a completely desolate wasteland, and the Artifice seems to still have perfectly functional machinery, despite being thousands of years old.

I'm not worried, the lid was on tight, but I am worried for whoever goes into the Magnagate first that their going to encounter some horrific yeast demon or a really doughy floor while doing resource retrieval.

[omensfromaschimos]

I think it unlikely that a whole *floor* will be made of it, but it's... not entirely impossible that samples of your yeast could show up. Or, perhaps, loaves of bread? Cooking is a changing of states, after all...

Hm! Perhaps Giratina appreciates a good sourdough. The one I knew was more partial to drinks, but it's difficult to imagine anyone turning down the opportunity to partake of a freshly baked loaf of bread.

[cressfromomen]

... okay,, now I'm hyper curious if Distortion created yeast has the same flavour as regular stuff or if its like all the dungeon food. I wonder if we can find a dungeon formed in a field and harvest some wild yeast from that and test... would it be a "perfect replication" or taste exactly how it thinks we think it tastes.

[cressfromomen]

Okay, say theoretically the Vault at the guild got accidentally turned into a dungeon due to someone dropping an unbound Entrcard in, and say theoretically that I had a jar of my family's dough yeast that was specially made from cultures dating back 4 generations of Evergreens stored on one of the shelves cause the Vault was the coolest spot in the whole guild.

What's the likelihood that the resultant dungeon has a floor entirely made of bread?

I know its an insane prospect, but the Distortion has done weird stuff. We found a cactus living in what was a completely desolate wasteland, and the Artifice seems to still have perfectly functional machinery, despite being thousands of years old.

I'm not worried, the lid was on tight, but I am worried for whoever goes into the Magnagate first that their going to encounter some horrific yeast demon or a really doughy floor while doing resource retrieval.

[cressfromomen]

There was a transcription error in your latest recipe; the last sentence of the second step seems to be cut off. It does otherwise sound quite delicious, though.

Oh, thank you! Seems I miss wrote part of the recipe. Fat paws and all. Don't worry. That step was ended after stab.

[cressfromomen]

So, a fairly problematic wild Pokèmon for Riverside was Bunnelby. They have a tendency to burrows in soft soil and our poor fields were a prime target. So some culling was a necessary evil. We could usually chase them off or relocate them, but some days were filled with bunnelby hunts, be it the screeching winds from Circi absolutely decimating some poor rabbit from 50 feet up, or the scarily loud snapping from mum and dads vines as they whipped down into burrows. End of the day though, after rites were said and bones were sent, we’d make Bunnelby Cutlets.

Bunnelby Cutlets (with mash and pickles)

Ingredients:

- 1 Bunnelby (dressed and carved)

- Herb mix of choice (I recommend a blend of salt, rosemary and seed oil)

- 3 large Dawnwood Potatoes, peeled and diced

- 1Sand Radish, grated

- 1tsp salt

- 1tsp Hyper Cane juice

- 2/3 cup vinegar (brown is good, but I like white)

- Pawful of hard cheese, grated (this is optional but makes the mash pop)

- Moo moo milk

Method:

1. Flatten out your meat with a stone or rolling pin, going to about an inch thick. For the chest, cut rib bones and flatten down for an even cook. Rub in herb mix with oil, and set aside for 5 minutes.

2. Place your potatoes in a pot of COLD water, not hot. Bring to boil over a high heat and cook for 30 minutes or until skewer comes away clean from a stab.

3. In a large oiled pan, place the meat skin side up and cook for 9 minutes, then flip and cook the skin side for 7 minutes. Place a large pot filled with water or a grey Tumblestone on the meat to sear down the skin for a lovely crisp. Remove from pan and rest on board while preparing the veggies.

4. In a bowl, combine vinegar, salt and cane juice together, add grated Sand Radish and cover. Place gently near an ice type if nearby, otherwise a bench rest will do.

5. Strain your potatoes, place them back into the pot and mash. Add milk and cheese gradually to smooth out the mash.

6. Serve chunks of cut meat with potato mash and pickles radish on the side. Enjoy.

Notes:

- You can use any juice from the meat to make a quick gravy with some distilled berry juice and flour.

- Leftover meat should be stripped from the bones and stored in a cool place.

- Bones should be washed and sent along the river, as per the Cycle. Take care not to break them, they will be brittle after cooking.

- Radish pickle can be saved and eaten in a salad sandwich the next day, though they will become soft enough to spread if left.

[cressfromomen]

I know it's a strange question, you think gods have food preferences? Jaze sort of messed me up with literally introducing one of my faith's gods to me as payback for calling them old, and now I'm wondering if She actually likes rice cakes or if that was a shitty offering this whole time.

Also we sort of have some other gods possibly running rampant and frankly, if I solve at least one encounter with a god over a nice meal, I'll take the chances.

[cressfromomen]

Shulk's Spiced Milk Tea

“Served in a Red Apricorn shell, this spicy delight will keep even the coldest Pokè running till bed. Drink responsibly.”

Ingredients:

- 3 parts Tea (energy blend)

- 1 part MooMoo Milk

- 1 Energising Twig

- 1-3 drops Tamato extract

Method:

1. Prepare tea in kettle, adding the energising twig while steeping for 5 minutes.

2. Pour tea into Apricorn shell and blend in milk. Keep twig for stirring.

3. Add preferred amount of Tamato extract, no more than three drops. Too much will overpower the drink.

4. Serve with honey for sweetening. Perfect sides would be bean cakes or stir-fried vegetable medley.

A shorter recipe today, straight from the bar in Riverside. Shulk came up with the recipe when the Travelling Tea Lady was in town and showed us the benefits of Energising Twigs on Pokèmon other than the Fennekin Line. I find the drink good cold as well! Just don’t ask for the truly special blend, a few have ended up in the gaol overnight after Shulk’s special “Otherworldly Spice Tea”...

[cressfromomen]

I suppose travelling means new recipes and friends. It also means learning to rely on others. As a new member joined our party, and another left, I discovered new heights to try and climb.

While we stayed at Neosenge Town overnight, I decided to try my hand at a new stew as a sort of welcome gift to a team member. Adamah, a Sandslash from the Hadaka region, a far away eastern archipelago (I think that’s where Grandpa and Mum are exploring right now), joined our team this morning. From what I remember, a lot of Pokèmon in Hadaka have problems with food, so I decided that a simple “Bounties of the Earth” meal would do the trick. In saying that, this recipe is very experimental, so take everything with a grain of salt, ha ha.

Spicy Mushroom and Apple Stew (with brown bread)

Ingredients:

- 2 Apples, peeled and chopped

- Handful of foraged Mushrooms, chopped finely (please check if edible before use)

- 1 Spicy Root, ground to a paste

- 1 Vegetable Cube

- Brown bread to serve

Method:

1. Sauté apples and mushrooms with seed oil in a pot over a medium heat until apple is browned and mushrooms are soft. Add enough water to cover everything, bring to boil and crumble vegetable cube in.

2. Split spicy paste into 3 even clumps, adding slowly while tasting in-between clumps. Once incorporated, set on a low heat and cover for 3 hours, stirring occasionally.

3. Once stew has reduced, add thickener (I use flour mixed with a little water but I know there are other methods) and stir until soft and thick. You should still have chunks, this is fine.

4. Ladle stew into bowls, place bread either toasted or fresh over bowl. Serve.

Notes:

- Save some spicy root in case of Pokémon with a higher tolerance.

- Bread could do well with cheese.

- Stew can be cooled and frozen, though the flavour diminishes and loses a lot of spice. Best to only make what you can eat in one sitting.

- If you have it on hand, some MooMoo Milk would elevate the dish to a cream stew.

[widget-of-aschimos]

YOU'RE NOT GONNA BELIEVE THIS

The yellow plants that grow outside of the guild are food. You can literally just pull the seeds out, grind them up into dust, mix the dust with water, cover it in berry sauce and cheese, and cook it. Riptide calls it "Pizza", some kind of Ancient, er, Human meal. You can also kinda just put whatever else on there during the sauce and cheese part, if it wont cause problems in the oven. I've put us on a Union-Mandated Lunch Break™ for a few days (Flare and Riptide were really exhausted from the past few weeks, and Minus wasn't too far behind) and we're making SO MUCH lunch. There's enough for the whole guild. As we were making 'em i figured out that you could fold it over before you cook it if you make em a little smaller, and it's great for if you don't have anything to cut it up with. @omensfromaschimos, I've had some sent to your room cause you guys usually aren't around during dinner.

[omensfromaschimos]

What do you MEAN your union gives you multiple days for lunch?? Man, I worked for MYSELF and I barely got half an hour...

Wait. Wait. Oh Gods, I'm a fucking moron. How the hell didn't I realize it was- HOW DIDN'T CRESS-

HOW DID NOBODY FROM TOWN REALIZE THEY LIVE IN A FUCKING WHEAT FIELD.

I'm so mad. Excited to try Pizza, but mad that nobody figured this out sooner. Thank you Riptide, but Gods, we're stupid.

[cressfromomen]

Oh, I knew. I just didn't harvest it 'cause I didn't have the tools. Also 'cause if I started, we'd be there for days. You misunderstand the amount of wheat there we'd be harvesting, my studious friend.

And you'd have a sore back and paws for a month from that much grinding work.

I think about my friends when choosing what to do. But yes, I will make us pizza :)

[omensfromaschimos]

Cress. Cress. The town has been reliant on the Guild to provide for its food needs. Did you not think to potentially mention that we were LIVING IN A FUCKING BREADBASKET.

I'm gonna fucking lose it. There are SO many problems you could have solved by just SAYING SOMETHING.

[mischievous-morgan]

Yeah no, I’m with Jaze on this one.

You didn’t gather a source of food… because it would have taken too long, despite it being literally all around you… because you don’t have specific harvesting tools…

JUST USE YOUR PAWS!

Just pick up the wheat, pull out the seeds, put it into a mortar and pestle, then start grinding it up!

In what world is having a stable source of food NOT worth the time and effort!?

[cressfromomen]

Listen, 'mon. I'd have loved to take a day to make a buckload of bread in the last... two weeks? But you need to understand we have been going non-stop. We get back to the guild at late o'clock every night. I've spent multiple Dungeons trying to make sure the team gets fed at reasonable times, and thats from me cooking on the spot with what small resources we had! I used a Fossil as a makeshift berry press, for Celibi's sake!

Every day has been all out, to the point where one of our team's mothers had to step in 'cause she lost a kidney during a teleport! I nearly burnt myself thin tracking her back to the guild, and could barely move the next day! I may be a farmer, but a bottomless font of energy I ain't!

[widget-of-aschimos]

YOU'RE NOT GONNA BELIEVE THIS

The yellow plants that grow outside of the guild are food. You can literally just pull the seeds out, grind them up into dust, mix the dust with water, cover it in berry sauce and cheese, and cook it. Riptide calls it "Pizza", some kind of Ancient, er, Human meal. You can also kinda just put whatever else on there during the sauce and cheese part, if it wont cause problems in the oven. I've put us on a Union-Mandated Lunch Break™ for a few days (Flare and Riptide were really exhausted from the past few weeks, and Minus wasn't too far behind) and we're making SO MUCH lunch. There's enough for the whole guild. As we were making 'em i figured out that you could fold it over before you cook it if you make em a little smaller, and it's great for if you don't have anything to cut it up with. @omensfromaschimos, I've had some sent to your room cause you guys usually aren't around during dinner.

[omensfromaschimos]

What do you MEAN your union gives you multiple days for lunch?? Man, I worked for MYSELF and I barely got half an hour...

Wait. Wait. Oh Gods, I'm a fucking moron. How the hell didn't I realize it was- HOW DIDN'T CRESS-

HOW DID NOBODY FROM TOWN REALIZE THEY LIVE IN A FUCKING WHEAT FIELD.

I'm so mad. Excited to try Pizza, but mad that nobody figured this out sooner. Thank you Riptide, but Gods, we're stupid.

[cressfromomen]

Oh, I knew. I just didn't harvest it 'cause I didn't have the tools. Also 'cause if I started, we'd be there for days. You misunderstand the amount of wheat there we'd be harvesting, my studious friend.

And you'd have a sore back and paws for a month from that much grinding work.

I think about my friends when choosing what to do. But yes, I will make us pizza :)

[cressfromomen]

Riverside Potluck (Festival of Abundance)

Base Stock:

-          5 large Onions, quartered

-          3 Golem Tomatoes, diced

-          1 Garlic, peeled

-          2 vegetable cubes (see Vol #4: Specialty Prep work)

-          20 litres water

Additions:

-          Herbs based on collected ingredients

-          Salt

-          King's Leaf, 1 sprig (no more)

Method:

1.      To begin the base, sauté onions and garlic in a small amount of seed oil until translucent, then add Golem tomatoes and stir. Crumble vegetable cubes over mixture and gradually add water. Bring to boil. Scoop off any scum that floats to the top, while stirring occasionally.

2.      Send out call for Gatherers. Procession should take around 1 hour, depending on the year’s Leader. During this time, make sure base stock is kept at a low simmer, topping up water if need be. Drag out Festival steps and place near pot for smaller Pokè to add their ingredients. Set up extra tables and equipment for post procession prep work.

3.      Once procession arrives, take up Stirrer’s Step. As others arrive, greet each and thank them for their bountiful harvest. Add ingredient to pot, stir, repeat until all ingredients added. Add any herbs, reduce heat and let simmer for 45 minutes with a lid on. Do not take the lid off during this time. Enjoy Festival from Stirrer’s Step.

4.      Once time has passed, remove lid and add King’s Leaf. Stir until fully incorporated. Say final prayers to local gods. Announce the Festival of Abundance as complete.

5.      Serve soup alongside flatbread or loaf bread. Once everyone is served, take your portion and relax. Remember to leave the flames at a low to keep the soup hot in case of second servings.

This one may seem out of sorts from usual recipes, but I wanted other Pokè to understand a fabulous tradition from my town. The Festival of Abundance is a time honoured tradition that we’ve done forever. It was originally started to give thanks to the supposed guardian spirits of our region, Verizion and Celibi, for blessing us with plentiful time and bountiful land. The “Cook” is always an Evergreen, and the Procession “Leader” is chosen from a mass straw drawing after the harvest.

 The “Leader” goes out from the edge of town, starting at the docks, and gets each resident to join a line behind them carrying their ingredients. This goes at the pace of the “Leader”, hence why it sometimes takes longer for them to arrive. Travellers visiting the village are invited to join in as well, though they cannot join the procession unless they are carrying a home-grown or foraged ingredient. Most travellers will provide the bread or drinks, as that will get them a spot at the field.

The festival usually lasts well into the night, though many Pokèmon will retire after a time. Tomorrow is another day, of course! This one day is just a good chance for everyone to rest and enjoy good food with everyone.

We also have a band. They aren’t good, but they do their best and that’s what matters.

[cressfromomen]

I feel like I should explain something really funny.

The Evergreen Family Cookbook, an almost thousand-page recipe book collection, is not just my family’s recipes. These books contains recipes that were added on travels, by close and long-gone friends, strangers at little stalls selling foods that just clicked into the brains of any Evergreen it came across. Heck, I’ve only added about a hundred recipes myself, and maybe a third of that was created by me (the infamous Fog Sandwich being the worst of them). This was an idea brought forth by my grandma Plumeria. The “family cookbook” was a record of dishes so that no knowledge got left behind. Everything from simple teas and sides to extravagant feasts, all collected over years and years to a mass of volumes. We split it down and sort it all to make sure that it’s easy for those around us to read through and find what they want.

The other half of that is figuring out other Pokèmon’s writing. You suddenly learn a lot about a pokè when they write. I’ve read Footprint, Torchic Scrawl, Ancient Script, Brail. I’ve even had some recipes with no words at all, and it’s just pictures and scents that you have to memorise and make. It truly makes learning about another’s way of life interesting when you sit down and “read” about their diet.

I will admit, I have eaten quite a few weird things due to this though. I will never forget Rogenrola’s “salad”, which was actually several different types of sediment charged with electricity and garnished with iron shavings. But it's in the “Book”, Volume 5: “Edibles for Hard Teeth and Harder Stomachs”, because somewhere, someone’s gotta eat.

[cressfromomen]

Well. I suppose that's one way to do SEO.

I don't know what this means, I am but a simple Eevee. It feels mocking in some way, so I'm gonna get Widget to print this off and we're gonna hang it on the wall as a reminder of this peculiar question.

[cressfromomen]

Oh arc, this is bringing back war flashbacks of desperately trying to find a recipe for family night, and mainly getting mini-horror novels before incredibly unclear instructions for how to make a souffle

Sorry mate, that's how stories go though. We've got plenty of recipes with weird stories tied to them, Like grandma Plumeria's 10 Day Hotpot or my Endless Fog Sandwich. The stories are the best part, and make for the extra flavour of a well seasoned dish!