can u try and sell criminal minds to me like make me really want to watch it
Do you like cop dramas? Do you like procedural shows? Do you like cute people from diverse background and ethnicities and sexualities? Do you like bad ass women with guns? Do you like smart women with computers? Do you like a show that has more men but is not male centric? Do you like family dynamics on a team? Do you like twisted suspense and serial killers?LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT CRIMINAL MINDS!So first of all thereâs Mom and Dad. Also known as Hotch and Rossi. They are the team leaders and have tons of experience but treat everyone equally and take care of their team as if those idiots were their own children. Also, they arenât bad to look at. Hotch doesnât smile much because he is sad but Rossi makes him pasta and makes it all better. Sometimes they cuddle under the stars
Then thereâs Derek Morgan. Or chocolate thunder. He is the token jock on the team but has a tragic complicated past which he embraces to make him a better agent. He was abused as a child and goes to any length to protect children from that same fate. He is in love with technical analyst, Penelope Garcia. But they have to keep their relationship a secret because of reasons. And by secret I mean they are disgustingly in love and everyone knows it. his smile should be illegal.
Penelope Garcia the sassiest member on the team is super adorable and you will love her because if you donât I worry about your mental status. She is the light in the darkest of times. She has her own lair and is really the backbone of the team they wouldnât get anywhere without her super savvy hacking skills. She is pansexual and loves everyone around her and is most often called âBaby Girlâ, âPGâ or simply âGarciaâ. Just like her sexuality sheâll answer to anything. Also her fashion sense is on point.
How do I even begin to describe Emily Prentiss? Emily Prentiss is flawless. I heard her smile is insured for $10,000. Her favorite show is Huff. I hear she works for InterpolâŚin London. One time she met Clyde Easter on a plane, and he told her sheâs pretty. One time she punched me in the face and it was awesome. Emily Prentiss is one of the strongest women on TV. She is sassy, nerdy, endearing, gay as hell, comes from a very multicultural background and will kick you fucking ass. She has been shot, staked, punched, kicked, and beat up more times than I can count and she still keeps bouncing back. Because she is a badass. And will not hesitate to fuck you up.
Jennifer âJJâ Jareau more often referred to as Goddess of Illegal Hair Porn. Is a cute lil bean who will not hesitate to shoot you in the head. She has the best shot on the team and used ot me the media liaison but then left and came back and got promoted and is now a top notch profiler. She has a son who is so cute it hurts and would do anything to protect him. Sheâs also hella bi and gay for Emily. They make googley eyes at each other more often than not.
Then there is the precious cinnamon roll too good, too pure for this world. His name is Dr Spencer Reid. He has the IQ of 187, eidetic memory and can read 20k words a minute. (He sounds like a nerd) SHUT YOUR MOUTH! Spencer is the youngest member on the team and next to JJ he has the best hair. He is smol and the Ace king of Acetopia but he is kind and smart and caring. And if you hurt him then the team will, literally, kill you. IE. Tobias Hankle
My darling, Aro baby, Elle Greenaway! She will sass you like nobodyâs business. Sheâs got a gun and she isnât afraid to use it. (Ask that guy she fucking shot in the head)
Donât forget other rad characters like Dr Alex Blake. Who is a linguist and a professional bad ass. She will kick your ass first and take names later. Alex Blake has no time for your bullshit. Jordan Todd and Ashley Seaver were minor characters but their importance to the team was not minor in the least. Kate Callahan will kick your ass even when sheâs 9 months pregnant!! The newest member of the team, Tara Lewis is a bad ass bitch who wonât hesitate to send you straight to hell.Â
Finally let me tell you how much this team is a fucking family. Like god damn! Itâs like 7th Heaven up in here. From dinner nights at Rossiâs, to weddings, to nights out at the bar these guys cannot get enough of each other. And you wonât be able to get enough of them!
Basically, CRIMINAL MINDS IS THE BEST DAMN SHOW!!
âŚoh. And thereâs Gideon.
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