Flower Shop Apocalyptic AU

she/her, thirties, just a simple girl living through the apocalypse and waiting for her meet cute

[lawbutch]

I sat behind the same girl in class all year and I was painfully jealous of her beautiful curly hair and I assumed she had just figured out some hair routine I didn't know, or had more time in the mornings than me, or was somehow more disciplined or just lucky. And then my friend talked to her one day and found out she gets 500$ perms and highlights 3 times a year. The answer was literally just money. The same friend found out that most of our classmates who I thought were just naturally smarter than me went to private highschools that cost 25k a year.

This is all a metaphor to say that there will be times when you feel like other people understand something that you don't, or have some ability that you don't, or are better than you in some way because they've accomplished something you can't. And it's going to turn out that they're just rich and they spent thousands of dollars to make that happen. You are not bad, you are not broken, the system is just fucked.

[only-cat-memes]

[sinistra-orlok]

[snek1046]

It’s June

[bees-official]

[lesbianbloodritual]

i think tumblr urls in the old superwholock fandom style are like those old household appliances that got discontinued because they had asbestos or uranium or whatever in them - maybe you have a beloved cousin or old high school friend who still has a dean-and-loki-in-the-tardis and sure it's not great but what are you gonna do, make them get rid of it? come on, that's katie's url, she's had it forever, it's fine. but if you find someone that has a brand new castieldrinkingteawithsherlock then something dark is afoot. they have regulations against making any more of those. you should be able to cut tumblr users open and count their rings like trees. i bet some of you got horny reading that last sentence

[fatliberation]

I don’t have time to unpack my full thoughts on the whole argument of ‘you shouldn’t be a burden to the healthcare system’ but I would like to chime in on it:

so, all athletes should immediately stop playing sports. construction workers, anyone with jobs that put them at risk, they need to find different employment. people with uteruses shouldn’t ever get pregnant, either. actually you know what? don’t enter a car or vehicle at all! and don’t even get me started on old people. what age do we think they should just give it up & throw in the towel? 50? 60? after that they become way too burdensome. it’s a problem.

sweet baby eugenicist, your anger is misplaced. they want you to blame yourself instead of their crumbling system. you should be asking, what kind of a fucking healthcare system is it if it can be burdened by the very thing it exists to provide? which is healthcare?!

[tiktoks-for-dead-pope]

[unidentifiablelifeform]

Chicago Turns All Public School IDs Into Library Cards To Boost Student Access

Chicago Public Library and CPS announced the expansion of The 81 Club, building on a pilot launched in 2022 to give students access to the l

[saltysocksniffer]

[petite-madame]

The Widows, Yelena & Natasha - (2026)

[closetedcrisis]

[pilferedinstagram]

[prokopetz]

I just found out why the F-117 Nighthawk – the thing that most people picture when they hear the phrase “stealth bomber” – looks Like That, while modern stealth aircraft don’t, and it’s both the stupidest and most amazing thing I’ve ever heard.

In brief, one of the main ways that stealth aircraft avoid detection is by passively reducing their radar cross-section – or, in plain English, being shaped in a way that reflects radar signals in unexpected ways, thus making them appear “smaller” than they really are to anything that pings them.

The math required to calculate an object’s radar cross-section is impractical to do by hand, and even the computers that were available in the mid 1970s could only do it for relatively simple models with low polygon counts and few or no curved surfaces.

Unfortunately, the results from the simplified computer models were found not to be effective when applied to the complex shapes of real aircraft, so the designers of the F-117 found a workaround: they built it to be the same shape as the low-poly model from the simulation.

And it fucking worked.

[inbabylontheywept]

there is a stripper pole in my attic. i saw it in a dumpster one day, and i went, shit, this is exactly the kind of thing my wife would want. and i didnt really want it in the house, what with it being a used stripper pole lightly seasoned with dumpster juice, but i mentally decided that if she were to see it and ask for it, i would say she could have it, and then sure enough, later that evening, she went soooo baaaaaaaabs there's this thing by the dumpster and i want it but i get it if you don't want it in the house but i have to show it to you- and i went, no you dont, you can have the pole, and that was the most surprised i have ever made her look. even compared to the day when i proposed to her, which she was prepared enough that we both knew she would say yes, and she could also get her hair done up and have a cute outfit, but not so prepared that she was not fucking flabbergasted by the 12 empty decoy ringboxes i sprung on her. i handed her so many decoy ring boxes that day. still one of the funniest things i've ever done to her.

anyway we like pacing around together and ranting in the attic but sometimes instead of pacing one of us will just hang on the pole and spin, and the other person will watch on the beanbag, which makes for these really goofy conversations where the person on the bag will say something that gets the other persons goat, such as, hypothetically, that xylophones do not belong in rock music, and then the other person will go on a tirade about this, but they'll actually only be facing the Hot Take Speaker half of the time, what because of the pole, so the response will sound something like

I can't believe

you would even suggest such

a stupid opinion. You've

been to a Danny Elfman

concert! How can you

have heard Oingo Boingo

live and say with a straight face

that they alone do not justify

rock and roll xylophones

and then that person will continue until they get too dizzy, then they'll get off the pole, and by unspoken agreement, the person on the bag will get up and trade places with them to deliver their rebuttal while also spinning and it just creates this sort of crazy strip-court lawyers debating absolute nonsense for no reason kind of vibe that frankly just really does it for us.

i don't really have any marriage advice for this i guess its just a look at what being married can look like. i thought that being married would involve a lot more stuff like carving the turkey, or barbecuing, or watching the sunset, and if id known how much time it would involve arguing for xylphones in rock music while spinning upside down i might have prepared for it a little differently.

[inbabylontheywept]

who is jane prentiss

[depsidase]

[hahaalaine]

This is leaving out the most crucial piece of why that was a normal reality: UNIONS. Union participation percentage is a measly 10% across all industries for the latest statistics in 2025. Unions are the ones who could fight against the requirement for everyone and their mother to need a minimum of a bachelor's degree. they could fight for working hours to be properly compensated so that the work week was actually 40 hours or less and everything over was actually paid for. The reality of the work place and why we work so much more for so much less is because we are not unionized. the reason europeans seem to have it so much better is because of their strong union culture. there are solutions to these problems and we need to stop obscuring the why.

[depsidase]

correct.

[jacksally]

#ryland grace is not graceful

PROJECT HAIL MARY 2026, dir. Phil Lord & Christopher Miller

[dragon-hoard]

if you are going to need some kind of sedative for 4th of july fireworks for your pets NOW IS THE TIME TO SCHEDULE THOSE APPOINTMENTS TO ASK FOR THEM

NOT WHEN ITS 2 DAYS AWAY

[alex51324]

I feel like to really get this circulating as it should, we need it superimposed over the picture of the turkey going in the fridge. (I can't do it I'm on my phone.)

[amaditalks]

[figtreeandvine]

With the 250th anniversary it's likely to be especially bad this year!

[gifs-of-puppets]

The Great Muppet Caper (1981)