My blog about shit. Btw I love you.

[crispystrangermentality]

Love

CW : Homophobia, Religious Trauma, Swearing.

I love everyone. I am romantically and sexually attracted to all genders. So what? So fucking what? I can’t control it. When I was younger I prayed to god to change me. I’ve prayed to god to kill me because I thought I was disgusting and I didn’t deserve to live. I strayed from god, I strayed from others. As I grew up I realized that god is love. (1 John 4:8)  Would a fair and just god create only some of his children to be imperfect with who they love? Would a loving god create only some of his children with aspects of themselves they can’t control, and then judge them and call them dirty? NO  Jesus is love. God is love. Every religion is meant to uplift humanity. (Or at least that’s what it’s fucking supposed to be.) So do you think causing children to k*ll themselves, hate themselves and hate others is doing god’s work? Do you think he would be proud? NO  You’re not going to hell for not being heterosexual and not being cisgender because GUESS WHAT, YOU’RE NOT GOING TO HEAVEN FOR BEING STRAIGHT AND CIS. God loves all his children. God wants his children to love him, love others and love ourselves. Who cares if we love other genders? Who cares if we make love? We are doing god’s work by spreading love, acceptance and joy. We are learning to accept ourselves and love ourselves the way we are. That’s what god stands for. The god teaching you to hate yourself is a lie. Those ideas were created by foul humans who are scared of people who are different. God loves you. In fact you don’t even have to believe in god, you are beautiful and you shouldn’t be ashamed of spreading love. Romantic, Platonic, Sexual. Love is a gift from god. A gift from our consciousness. You are acceptable. You are sure as hell lovable. There is nothing wrong with you. You are beautiful. The love you contain is beautiful. This applies to people on the ace spectrum too, familial and platonic love are gifts to be shared. Love is love and love is beautiful. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL, GOD CREATED YOU THIS WAY (if you believe in him) YOU WERE BIRTHED THIS WAY FOR A REASON. Love without regrets, beautiful soul.

[crispystrangermentality]

Trying to find hope

For the longest time I tried to find the good things in life. The parts of life that were beautiful, that were good. I couldn’t find anything. All I could see was the news, death, pain. What hurt most of all was the apathy society has. How people make fun of sensitivity and emotions. Hell people invalidate your emotions a lot. I used to think that being cold, aloof and apathetic was strength when I was a kid but now I see that staying warm, sensitive and authentic is a strength. People attack you for no reason because of the problems they have inside. The hope that I found was that people think the same way as me. On the internet people can be themselves so they write about longing for connection, understanding, trust and warmth. So many people dream of a better world. So many people go through what I go through. So many people realize and are heartbroken by the world we live in. The hope that I have is the hope that others want these things too, and even better, people try to take action and do things about it. Some people create, some people spread awareness, some people influence opinions and some people just try to make the world a better place by spreading happiness and love. There are 7 billion people on this planet and we all crave love. The people who seem devoid of love don’t have any. Hate is just the absence of love. Follow your dreams and follow your heart. If you open yourself up, you will find people like you. You will get hurt. The hard part is healing and having the courage to still be loving even though the world can be cruel. 

[crispystrangermentality]

Things that are beautiful

Disclaimer : I’m not trying to romanticize pain. Pain is a terrible thing and some things people should never have to go through. I’m highlighting the fact that the strength people have, and the love that people have is beautiful.

- The sun setting over a lake. The sky a cascade of colors.

- A person learning how to experience joy again. That breakthrough when you realize that you’re going to be ok.

- The concepts people create for death and the afterlife. The grief and love people have for the deceased. Surely that love would be with the person’s soul forever, even in the afterlife.

- Watching kids explore and discover. The pure joy and fascination.

- The survivor’s spirit. People still moving after they’ve gone through/are going through hell. Every second, every day that they go through the pain is inspiring and heartbreaking.

- Imperfections. Learning to embrace the ugliest sides of yourself and loving yourself regardless. 

- Heartbreak. You loved someone or something so much that it causes you this grief. It meant so much.

- Art. Creations. People creating for the hell of it. It doesn’t have to be good or perfect. The imperfections make it unique. You learn from your mistakes. Remember, “mistakes are happy accidents” - Bob Ross (pretty sure that’s the quote).

- Discovering who you are

- LGBTQ : Being who you are and loving who you love for some reason is extremely hard nowadays. The community uplifting each other and inspiring each other to find joy and happiness is amazing. Love conquers all. Love is patient, love is kind, love never fails.