idk man

(icon by axidentshappen)

[askautisticlink]

*Shoots you with my....BABY LASER!!!* MWAHAHAHA!!! TRY AND STOP THE YIGA NOW, HERO! *Poofs away in smoke, leaving behind 1 banan*

Art: @asktheritochampion

[critical-birb]

Also got SHUNNED for being non-binary today - on pride month of all times.

Granted, all the people in this group were like middle-aged, middle-class white cis people with kids so.

But they were all SO nice to me right up until we were discussing a task and I mentioned that I go by they/them pronouns - suddenly their whole vibes changed.

This one lady started getting all defensive being like "Well how can you expect anyone to know that?!! You don't look or sound or dress like that?" (What does looking/sounding/dressing non-binary even mean??? I dress very androginously, bind my chest and have super short hair - my voice is just a little high.) I explained super politely that I didn't expect anyone to know - I hadn't told them, it's the same as if I hadn't told someone my name yet - they're not psychic. But she still started talking over me insisting that people are too sensitive now days.

Another lady INSISTED that her 'friend' worked in a school where some kid identifies as a cat and the school 'HAS to let them and provide them with a litter box!', and doubled down that teachers aren't allowed to disagree with ANYTHING even when I told her that story is 100% fake and even proved it by googling it.

Some other lady kept interrupting every conversation I had with this weird argument about how women NEED their own private spaces (I never said otherwise???), and when I spoke up about the gender neutral toilets in the building being totally safe spaces because they're enclosed cubical rooms with your own sink and toilet, she went off on a rant about how men might have used it before her and could put cameras in there or pee all over the seat and how people like me are creating unnecessary issues and unsafe spaces for women.

It was exhausting. I'm just out here dude. I didn't even say any of you had to use my pronouns. I just mentioned in passing that they're what I like to use. Everyone just wants to be angry at me.

[critical-birb]

One of the barriers I have to making friends within workplaces is that most people are just.....really fucking boring.

I've been on a training course for three days and at the start they did an ice breaker where we had to introduce ourselves and talk about our hobbies.

I went first. I introduced myself and mentioned I like to do arts and crafts, I like to paint and bake and garden. I didn't even mention everything else - I do archery and pottery and make puppets and crochet and sew and read books and learn new things.

After that, forty people introduced themselves and said either 'I have kids' or 'I go to the pub' or 'I watch the telly'

Like. Forty people and not ONE of them had a real hobby. None of them did any sports, none of them did any creative things, none of them read or sang or foraged for plants or wrote poems or went fishing or built models or played boardgames or did puzzles.

They just. Watched TV. Drank alcohol. Could not comprehend doing anything else?

I get that parenting takes a lot of your time and energy and I'm not shaming anyone for that - but like???? Even if you did hobbies WITH the kids - take them on walks, do paper crafts with them, teach them to play a ballgame???

I get excited every time I meet someone who does ANYTHING with their time. Talking to office people is draining in just now exhaustingly boring they all are.

[miitten]

My fried brain had neuron activation thank you kat

(Kain is @axidentshappen oc hdhajshdhwns )

[axidentshappen]

This made my day!! You draw kain soooo well 💖💘❤️

[critical-birb]

Interesting weird bird fact of the day.

Baby hatching crows have an 'egg tooth', which is a tiny horn on top of their beak which they use to help break out of their egg. Like little rhinos. The horn falls off after a couple days and never grows back.

Tiny dinosaurs. Apparently some snakes also have this 'tooth' . Wild.

[critical-birb]

Morning everyone

*kisses your head**kisses your head**kisses your head**kisses your head**kisses your head**kisses your head**kisses your head**kisses your h

[critical-birb]

Also I feel like people should know that I was jumpscared at breakfast the other day because my beloved flatmate was watching a Dan&Phil video and they had viewers calling in - and someone called in and left a message from their pet Pigeon named Revali.

He stalks me everywhere I go.

[critical-birb]

Hghhggggg put Revali in a paper bag and bash him against a wall a few times. This is therapy 2 me.

[critical-birb]

Fun art thing to try that I discovered by accident the other day.

Get some cheap acrylic paint and mix some cornflour into it - about 50/50, but eyeball it until it's a THICK but still spreadable paint texture.

Slap it onto some canvases or bits of board or any hard painting surface that isn't paper, making thick brush strokes and lots of cool texture.

Go to bed.

Wake up in the morning and your now dried painting will not only be super textured but also covered in interesting little spiderwebs cracks.

Now use paint pens or regular paints to paint any simple image over the top and suddenly it looks like some beautiful vintage piece recovered from a thousand years ago.

You're welcome.

P.s. I've heard that some people add a tiny bit of white vinegar to the cornflour paint to make sure it doesn't decay over time. I don't know whether this works or not, I haven't noticed any decay at all after several weeks they seem pretty sturdy.

[critical-birb]

Not Zelda related, but shout out to the show Steven Universe which I binge watched in university almost a decade ago with my roomates, and was one of the most impactful pieces of media I've consumed. To this day, it's still helping me understand and explain parts of my cptsd to therapists in a way that makes sense to me. Silly kids show really did impact my life in a positive way and still is many years after it finished airing.

[critical-birb]

Birds have such tiny and delicate hearts and respiratory systems for their metabolism and flight - I feel like if you gave a Rito coffee, their hearts would explode.

[critical-birb]

I never thought caffeine had much of an affect on me but I've been slowly cutting it down over the past few months and today I ordered a coffee because a friend was also ordering one and I messed up the touch screen order and it put down four shots of espresso rather than four shots of syrup.

Anyway I can feel the wetness of my eyeballs and the intense sensation of blood in my veins. I think I met satan on the train and he whispered an ungodly language straight into my soul. I have to remember to breathe manually.

Anyway how are you guys doing?

[critical-birb]

Bird pun language I think the Rito would probably use that more people should add to fanfiction for the silliness:

-Pluck you/I'll be plucked

-Flap off

-Soar long, and goodfly

-Pin a feather on it

-What the flock?

-For feather and ever

-Forgive the lack of pheasentries

-Nary a single twig makes a nest

-I'll let you off the rook this time

-Great Tit!

-Hatch you later

-Off the brooding path

-It'll do in a finch

-Owl see about it

-Toucan play at that game

-He's eagle and ready

-Swanning around the place

-Sturdy as a wood roost

-Squawk it out

-Sticking your beak where it doesn't belong

-Don't make me snitch and talon you

-Start a perch n' search on it

-Croon like an old loon

-See you in three, chickadee

-Be back in four, ol' jackdaw

- He preens up nicely

-Read it and cheep

-Get a flap on / flap to it

-Best of the Nest

-A big crest is compensating for a small brain

-He hasn't got the gizzards to do it

I will add more later. Please feel free to add to the list.

[critical-birb]

Similar to languages like German and Russian in which non-speakers find the sound to be harsh or intense, I like to think that the Rito's native language sounds angry to other races.

Mostly because they're used to talking while flying so having to be very loud and clear to be heard over the winds.

But it really amuses me to think of two Rito squawking and hissing at eachother in a way that, to all non-Rito in the area sounds like they're fighting. But actually they're just having a lively and pleasant conversation.

The Champion group stopping on their long journey through Hebra mountains to get to a shrine and finding a hut owned by a native Rito woman - and Revali starting to squawk and scream at her, hopping around and raising his feathers threateningly, and this woman doing the same, shrieking at the top of her lungs and snapping her beak as she flaps at him.

And all of the Champions plus Zelda and Link panicking almost attempting to get in-between them in case they start fighting like "ITS FINE ITS FINE WE'LL STAY SOMEWHERE ELSE."

And Revali, completely baffled, turning back like "What? But she's happy for us to stay. She wants to bake us a pie, she was just asking what flavour. What are you all so riled up about?"

[axidentshappen]

Oh lawd she comin (June moon 🌙)

Sound Check: Page 14 & 15

Prev / First

[critical-birb]

Apparently when stressed (or during times struggling for food), some species of bird eat the feathers they preen in a form of pica. It is, understandably, not good for them - but typically they just puke up the collected featherballs from their stomachs because they can't digest the feathers.

Anyway do you think that Rito do that too.

You ask a guy if he's feeling stressed lately and he sneers like tch no?? What gives you that idea? Before coughing up a handful of feathers.

[revalianswersquestions]

Sheikah Slate 229910: Rito Champion "REVALI" is now available on the public question network of Hyrule.

[critical-birb]

LOOK AT THIS COOL NEW REVALI ASK BLOG!!! THEY DO LIKE WHOLE COOL LITTLE COMIC ANSWERS AAA!!!

Everyone go follow them and send them cool asks (and don't be weirdos or mean okay! Or I'm grounding you.)