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@criticalebwidogast
this is a proper update conveying what i’d mentioned yesterday--- i’m here to apologize for my lack of activity & state that it’s because i still have a demanding schedule , & expect to until sometime in may . i have a number of asks to answer from a recent meme , but until things quiet some , i won’t be able to spare much attention ; that said , my inbox is always open for interaction , & if you have need of me i’m always lurking here or on my main RP blog . ♥
toalternate:
LINES I’VE HEARD THAT ARE RAW AS HELL: A SENTENCE STARTER PACK
“I will face God and walk backwards into Hell.” ”Pick a god and pray.” “Then perish.” “Violence for violence is the rule of beasts.” “I have been through Hell and come out singing.” “There are no gods here.” ”Kiss my ass, you sanctimonious bastard.” “Do I look like the kind of man who dies?” ”Do you think God stays in heaven because he too lives in fear of what he’s created here on earth?” ”Most monsters are a manifestation of our own fears and inability to accept different cultures we don’t understand.” ”You can only learn from pain, the more pain the wiser you become.” ”God, forgive me.” ”I am blighted being cursed with sight.” ”This is the age of the expanding man.” “God’s dead and soon we will be, too.” “I thought there were no heroes left in this world.” ”To become God is the loneliest achievement of them all.” “You kneel before my throne unaware that it was built on lies.” “Impudent of you to assume I will meet a mortal end.” ”People who don’t fear death are the ones who crave it.” “This is Hell’s territory and I am beholden to no gods.” “Bury me shallow, I’ll be back.” ”Perception is truth to those who perceive it as such.” “Take this gift, for the gods surely won’t.” ”When the weight of the world is on your shoulders, you learn.” “Ironic that someone whose purpose it is to restore life would wish death upon themself.” “God wishes he were me.” “One day, you will be face to face with whatever saw fit to let you exist in the universe, and you will have to justify the space you’ve filled.” “Everything that we know and love is reducible to the absurd amount of chemicals, and there is therefore no intrinsic value in this material universe.” “Hypocrite that you are, for you to trust the chemicals in your brain to tell you they are chemicals.” “All knowledge is ultimately based on that which we cannot prove.” “Will you fight? Or will you perish like a dog?” “You’re a coward. You always were.” “Deviation from the norm will be punished unless it is exploitable.”
clayric:
“i am, but i have a watch in me still. i’ll keep you company.”
caduceus sits next to him before caleb has a chance to protest, folding long legs beneath him. even sitting down caduceus is noticeably taller than caleb, though the days events wearied him, brought a slouch to his posture, brought them closer in height.
“it’s been a day. how are you holding up, caleb?”
CONSIDERATION had spurred the invitation for caduceus to find REST , but THIS is just as well - caleb enjoys the company . ---he watches whilst the firbolg settles himself upon the ground with little concern towards his placement ; a moment later , caleb seats himself as well , though is a touch PICKY in doing so , as similar to a CAT finding comfortable place to sit.
with solid ground beneath him , the wizard expels a weary SIGH , tension still CLINGING to his sore bones with no indication of lessening any time soon---
a lopsided half-smile quirks at dry lips at the question posed , meanwhile between them arrives frumpkin, who invites himself to crawl upon caduceus’ lap & curl up for a nap.
“ every time i begin to think there are no more surprises to be had something new is thrown our way. ”
new CHALLENGES , new ADVERSARIES - but their success rate is pretty PROMISING ;
“ but - we are the mighty nein ; we have not been defeated yet. ...much in part thanks to you. ”
(Caleb): I have cat like reflexes.
(Beauregard): prove it.
(Caleb): *sees a cat* I like that cat.
i take bat guano & sulfer & i cast---
low activity caleb widogast . temp dash only - separate nav page . promo art cred .
duplicitied :
when caleb leans towards her, jester responds in kind. violet eyes alight with mischief, she is eager to hear what appeared to be the most conspiratorial of secrets from her typically reclusive friend. her eyebrows raise inquisitively. ❝ yeah, but you don’t want to, right? you’d miss me too much, ❞ she gives an exaggerated grin, tilting her chin up slightly. ❝ besides, you just said you couldn’t even if you wanted to, so it sounds like you’re stuck with me, caleb! ❞ her shoulders shrug matter-of-factly, and her hands fall into her lap. jester’s gaze turns from caleb’s face and towards the horizon.
the moon hangs high in the sky, and jester revels in its glow. she is reminded of her childhood at the chateau, the nights when she would stay up late creating her newest masterpiece on the wall of her room, adding splashes of bright color wherever she desired. on those nights, she would prop up her chin in her hands, leaning against the windowsill, and gaze out at the moon. sometimes, the traveler would appear to her, and together they would talk for hours, with only the silent opal archways and silver moonlight to accompany them. something about the way it washed over the open plain before her gave it a new sense of majesty—the view so much better in comparison to the one outside her bedroom window. jester takes a deep breath, letting the scent of grass and earth fill her lungs, and releases it with a soft smile. she looks back at caleb, that same smile lingering on her lips and brightening her eyes. ❝ you know…❞ it is her turn to conspire. ❝ it’s not so hard for me to be super optimistic all the time when i’m with my friends! like you. ❞ she adds, playfully poking caleb’s shoulder. ❝ even if you are a little stinky, ❞ the sentence has hardly left her mouth when her voice gives way to musical laughter, which she stifles with one hand. ❝ i don’t mean that, really, i was just thinking about how we met, you know, when i came over from my table with beau and fjord and let you know that you smelled, like, really bad. but you don’t! not anymore. ❞
it’s true. their impending return to nicodranas resurfaced old memories—of her childhood, of the nein’s earliest days. they were such different people then: caleb’s standoffishness has since given way to a sort of quiet compassion, a present but silent care…and jester’s naïveté has crumbled under the weight of the horrors she’s seen.
she pauses, allowing her expression to become more serious but no less earnest.
❝ you’ve come a long way from then, you know? ❞ they both have. ❝ you told me a while ago that i’m the one who changes people, but like, you’re the one who’s, like, really changed for the better. ❞ jester put one hand on top of his and gave it a gentle squeeze. ❝ you should be really proud, caleb. ❞
AFFIRMATION to her assumption comes by way of subtle NOD , his own smile gracing features in response to her own - however, the mirth shines brighter in his EYES than by way of curve to his lips ; she’s EXUBERANT , her energy CONTAGIOUS , yet it’s with inward acquiescence he could never reach such degree of excitement - not because he’s INCAPABLE of being GLEEFUL , nor because his own joy is expressed in more UNASSERTIVE fashion---it’s because she exudes a brightness that outshines the sun , a RARE GIFT------
her eyes travel outwards to the night sky , & - after a moment - his attention follows . beyond them , the stars speckle distant evening , constellations painting stories of lore--- caleb had never been much of an ASTRONOMER , failing to take time in order to APPRECIATE the vast expanse above them beyond FLEETING GLANCES ; of course he had DESIRES & WISHES that reached higher than the farthest star , but for SO LONG had he been SO FOCUSED upon the ground - every step could prove DETRIMENTAL , & survival into the next morning relied upon placement of his footing ; the STARS had once been too THREATENING , open space too DANGEROUS---
---but then came companions , FRIENDSHIP , them all of equal importance within his heart - & jester , with her BRIGHTNESS beyond the SUN , has helped him to APPRECIATE the stars that rise .
at her voice does his attention refocus , relocating once more to HER as head turns in order to face the tiefling---there’s a HUFF of air at her remark to his scent , however sound comes laced with SUBTLE HUMOR - never had it TRULY insulted him , in fact only ever BOLSTERING his objective ; to be REPELLENT was to be SAFE , though these days he finds himself grateful his repulsiveness had not been enough to drive his friends away .
attention takes note of the SHIFTS to her expression as she speaks , cataloging the FURROWS of her BROW as she reminisces ; it’s TRUE , they’ve come quite a ways - LOSS & GAIN has affected them all , & WEIGHT has been placed upon their shoulders that could not have POSSIBLY anticipated the night they’d gone to the carnival .
---& then she tells him he should be PROUD , & the UNEXPECTEDNESS of it throws him OFF---for a beat , caleb simply BLINKS , before COMPOSURE finds itself caught , & he chooses delicately his words for a response :
“ there are things i am proud of. ”
a claim carrying HONESTY - there are acts done by his hands of which , at times , he’ll allow himself to feel SATISFIED for---not so quick to SMUGNESS , but a PRIDE at his achievements - his biggest , to date , the TRANSMUTATION of VETH------
but to look upon his hands would be to date farther back - nicks & scars of recent travels that mar his hands blend to long-healed incisions made into his forearms ; to look upon his hands would be to see FIRE , & to know that for all the GOOD he may do , his very hands are capable of such DESTRUCTION--- there exists PRIDE within him , as well as acts for which there is no forgiveness .
---it’s these very hands he finds himself faced with now , held in front of him & raised a touch above his lap ; he drops them now , clenches fists , & faces skyward once more .
“ the accomplishments we’ve made as a group account for much of them . it’s been... quite a journey. ”
one that , at his suspicion , is far from over .
“ you don’t have to talk, we can just sit together. ” // sentence starters . // @kienokoru
THERE’D BEEN SOME TIME during which caleb - previously wilhelm , klaus , daniel , & all other names between him & BREN ALDRIC ERMENDRUD - had only HIMSELF to rely on ; now that he’s AWARE of what it means to be PROPERLY CARED FOR , the wizard can RECOGNIZE just how LONELY it had been—
...though to accept such care from anyone outside of the nein remains a... TENTATIVE process . he expects the WORST of those to whom he’s UNFAMILIAR , anticipating TROUBLE at every turn - but... there’s some sort of POTENTIAL with shiro , & while he takes it with a CAUTION , caleb doesn’t REJECT the kindness as it’s received .
there’s a BREATH , the wizard wearing REMORSE upon countenance ; an attempted smile pinches TOO TIGHT the corners of his eyes , & he hangs his head at where expression falls instantly aside . where with most he’d keep STOIC countenance , present UNFALTERING IMPASSIVITY , it’s within agreeable company that stony facade presents its CRACKS---a statue pieced together with broken shards , fallible & flawed - though it’s the FOUNDATION at where the REAL problem lies ; he has no intention of allowing shiro such close inspection.
---lifting his head , another wry sort of smile causes more a GRIMACE to his face , though an expression of GRATITUDE it’s meant to be taken as.
“ can i help you? ” fae hana, mayhaps? :eyes: // sentence starters . // @starwritten
FAR BE HIM FROM FOOLISH , wizard further distanced even from trusting---
‘ can i help you, ’ - an offer he reads as having ULTERIOR MOTIVES - especially when coming from one such as this . while honored to have a CLOSE relationship with a fey creature - frumpkin , who currently sits upon his shoulder & lightly SLAPS tail against his back - the idea that caleb would be so easy to deceive by another is LAUGHABLE --- too intelligent , too CAUTIOUS , too PESSIMISTIC to ever expect there to be GOOD INTENTIONS - & that’s all WITHOUT mentioning his OWN expertise in enacting CONS to the UNSUSPECTING.
“ i think i am okay. ”
a STATEMENT , one of FINALITY ; in truth , he could USE some aid , but well-versed is he in the DEALINGS of fey ; stories & lore studied extensively , adding VIABLE REASONING to his apprehension ---
“ your assistance is not necessary. ”
we’re being made to wear masks at work . it’s giving me anxiety . i just want to drink my tea . :’/
“ have a drink with me. ” // sentence starters . // @broughtflowers
INVITATION inspires PAUSE ; the wizard hesitates for a beat before , delicately , dragging a chair back from the table JUST ENOUGH to seat himself upon it. ---prior stall hadn’t been out of DISINTEREST, it should be noted ; caleb simply hadn’t considered letting the day yet WIND DOWN over a pint---the sun had set , the group had found a comfortable inn to stay for the night , & yet the wizard still felt CHARGED---a drink , perhaps , will provide some HELP in settling his nerves .
if not the drink , than perhaps the company .
a BRIEF smile passes h is lips , little more than faint CURVE to his mouth ;
“ sure . what are you having ?”
@falchioned
broke : caleb kissing any other viable character in the campaign, “be mindful of caduceus - smart , that one.”
woke : caleb just kissing caduceus ,,
🔥 @bloomingdeed | sc .
“ ah - i hope you don’t mind the intrusion ; this is... the quietest place to read. ”
misc sentence starters
“ i wish i knew how to talk about it. ” “ you don’t have to talk, we can just sit together. ” “ i don’t want to be alone anymore. ” “ i wish i could hate you. ” “ take a seat, we’re gonna be here a while. ” “ i need you to trust me. ” “ i missed/miss you. ” “ she/he won’t listen to me. ” “ let me do this for you. please. ” “ is there anything else you want to say to me? ” “ tell me something happy. ” “ promise me. ” “ i just want/wanted to help. ” “ let me explain. ” “ i didn’t/don’t need you to understand, i just wanted/want you to support me. ” “ i’m on your side. ” “ i’ve got your back, okay? ” “ please, tell me you have a plan. ” “ stay with me tonight. ” “ don’t go. please. ” “ i’ve been alone for so long i’m afraid i don’t know what it’s like not to be. ” “ talk to me. ” “ i did what i had to do. ” “ we can’t keep going on like this. ” “ i’m just tired. ” “ i’m scared. ” “ it’s okay to be afraid. fear can be good. use it. ” “ it’s better to expect disappointment. ” “ hope is dangerous. ” “ i like seeing you smile. ” “ you look beautiful. ” “ be patient with her/him. they’re trying. ” “ i’m trying my best and it’s not good enough. it’s never good enough. ” “ i’m starting to think i’m just fucked up. ” “ have a drink with me. ” “ she/he is better off without me. but i guess that’s their choice. ” “ you can’t dictate what’s best for someone else. ” “ can i help you? ” “ i thought you’d like this. ” “ do you wanna get out of here? ” “ walk with me? ” “ well, shit. ”
falchioned :
fjord’s recollection of the night’s battle was spotty.
he remembered the furious look in the creature’s eyes as it plunged the sword of fathoms deep into his chest. he remembered an unbearable, searing pain ripping through him as the blade pierced straight through his body. he remembered the feeling of hot blood spilling from the wound, powerless to impede its flow. he remembered breath leaving him, he remembered the sound of rain hitting the deck growing softer, softer, the world fading out around him…
and then next thing he knew, his eyes opened again. his back was up against the slick, cold deck of their ship, the smell of rainwater sharp in his lungs, and the nein stood, harrowed, storm-battered, over him.
now, he was back in the comfort of his own bed, and though exhaustion plagued him, he was having a considerably difficult time sleeping. the warm, dim light that bathed his quarters and the soft bedding beneath him should have comforted him, should have given him a sense of security. but he resisted the pull of sleep, resisted vulnerability. uk’otoa would strike again, of that he was certain, and he wouldn’t let it catch them unawares once again. he won’t put his friends in danger a second time, he won’t risk their lives for his safety.
the others drifted in and out of his room periodically, jester and beau being his most frequent visitors. he spoke to the nein when they made conversation and sat in comfortable silence when they didn’t, appreciative of their presence, of their care. still, guilt ran hot in his veins—guilt for endangering the rest of the nein, for assuming he was safe from the uk’otoa, for allowing himself to be so seriously wounded, for his carelessness. he did his best to uphold a facade of optimism, but it’s a mask that is quickly cracking under the scrutiny of a certain wizard. fjord resolves himself to break the silence between himself and caleb late that night.
❝ hey, caleb. ❞ fjord spoke up, his voice hoarse and dry. ❝ i heard that you cast a clutch counterspell back there. ❞ his brow knits in concentration, struggling to recall the details of which jester informed him. ❝ something about a dimension door? if it weren’t for you, i… ❞ he forced a sudden spike of fear, of realization, out of his voice but not out of his mind. ❝ i probably wouldn’t be here, much less…here, here. so, thank you. ❞
@criticalebwidogast - here have some post-ep 98 feelings!
it’s easy to RECOGNIZE --- the belief that you are FAILING your FRIENDS ; caleb has an intimate relationship with such sensation .
---there are numerous points throughout the hours that follow wherein caleb feels urged to SPEAK with fjord , to seek him out & sit him down for a moment to BREATHE , to catch his BREATH as it has been RETURNED to him---but every time he finds reasons to sway - jester & beauregard already at his sides to tend , caduceus’ & yasha’s own looming presences’, STARK in contrast yet powerful in their own rights---when caleb thinks to find fjord , he’s met with more crowd than he feels should be ADDED to . ...& when he notes members of the nein separated from fjord , caleb still talks himself OUT of visiting , wearing down his resolve with the idea the man needs to RECOVER .
the DISTANCE births GUILT - the desire to ensure fjord’s UP & WELL is strong, yet overwhelmed by caleb’s lack of knowing how to ADDRESS it---he would think his RELIEF to overpower all else , but the recollections make his stomach TWIST ; they’d almost LOST him , an acknowledgement that repeatedly punches the air from his chest - fjord had been the one pierced by blade , but it was a pain they’d ALL felt.
---TREPIDATION remains UNBROKEN, yet YEARNING finds itself soothed when it’s FJORD to make approach, drawing caleb’s attention away from where he looks outwards across the sea , gaze keeping northward no matter which way the boat sways.
words inspire him to turning , BLINKING as he’s met with the paladin - he’s STALLED for a moment, before focus swoops downward. collecting himself, it takes a BREATH before caleb’s lifting chin to look fjord in the eyes---
“ of course. ”
perhaps anticlimactic, but it conveys well enough his position--- fjord is one of them , one of which caleb holds DEAR - he would do anything to ensure his safety .
“ you are my friend , fjord, ”
BROWS FURROW , teeth catch lower lip , & there’s a BREAK in his voice that softens the latter half of his sentence - caleb has failed to act much like a friend since the half-orc’s recovery , & there’s a resurgence of that GUILT in the face of expressed GRATITUDE , like fjord didn’t ENTIRELY EXPECT that caleb would do everything within his power to keep him SAFE---
eyes travel lower once more , caleb’s hands rising to allow a thumb & index finger to pinch opposing fingers -
“ you told me... ”
he wets his lips , evens the line of his mouth , looks up once more ;
“ the day before , you told me you had more life than you ever thought you would see --- i would like you to make certain that that doesn’t end ahead of time. for you... for any of the others .
i would not... we would not give you up so easily. ”
sapphiretrickster:
“Delicious? Yeah.” Jester takes another bite of her cupcake, frowning, “wait– do you think it’s bad?”
---jester fills in her OWN adjective , her eager claim inspiring a short-lived PINCH to the wizard’s countenance - the two have DIFFERING DEFINITIONS of delicious , it would seem ; while normally intrigued by the abnormal flavors jester so happily shares with the group , it’s THIS that does NOT share agreement with his tastebuds. ...still , he’s a man of TRIAL & ERROR , & in brave attempt to TRY AGAIN , he bites off a small corner------& reaches the same conclusion as prior sample.
“ it is... not my favorite. ”
a delicate way of sparing REJECTION---& where normally he might simply stuff the entire thing into his mouth to both refrain from being a NUISANCE as well as GET IT OVER WITH IN ONE FELL SWOOP , the wizard instead blinks at the cupcake before holding it towards jester -
“ would you like to finish it off ?”
