Gangle's nightmare scene rambles bc, oh no ! ouch !
So this ep crushed me in some wonderful ways but HOLY WOW those nightmare scenes were *brutal.* All of them are absolutely diabolical but Gangle still had the one that gave me the most visceral reaction somehow, so i did the rational thing of pacing around my house picking at my brain and at this scenes symbolisms to dissect every second ! Woohoo ! Fair warning I relate VERY heavily with her, more than any character ive run into before so if it starts to veer into maybe my own experiences, oops, sry tumblr if i accidentally make you my unpaid therapist.
btw i dont think theres any order to this im just GOIN
- The most direct and obvious thing to take away from the paintings deforming is her uncontrollable mood swings and how helpless it can feel at times to suddenly lose control.
- i think theres something to be said about the fact that the paintings arent all happy then into sad, its happy AND sad paintings deforming into instability. My gut feeling of why this rattles her so badly is the idea of, well if your "default" is upset and anxious, then what does being "happy" even mean if eventually your just going to go back to your default. I can entirely relate to her dread of the possibility of being depressed and diluted is who she is as a default forever, it can feel like drowning sometimes which is kinda what the melting paintings give the vibe of to me (the audio going with the paintings melting does also sound like rushing water!(or ink))
- I think the selection of it being on paintings feels intentional, something about her stagnated art passion i think, and the fact that they spin around Gangle in this over stimulating way sorta give me the impression of how her life quickly moved on and how fast time had passed at her dead end job with nothing to show for it but diluted dreams of the comic shes always wanted to make. The melting paintings also representing the shame for being unable to follow something that would make her happy
- Theres something about Gangle's character that tells me she might have some sort of imposter syndrome?(tho might just be extremely low self esteem) she usually downplays her art, she doesn't really fight back at all when being tossed around by Jax or Caine, and generally seems to put herself down in many cases. These Traits HAVE gotten better with Zooble's help thank GOODNESS, but oh gosh can i relate to still having that auto response of just assuming your still not good enough or unable to shake the feeling that you deserve it too some extent. So the paintings warping and subsequent truck really feels like that fear being confirmed, that she is always just going to be the crybaby pushover everyone knows (MAYBE THIS ONES A REACH BUT IDK)
- I was gonna ramble about how her being placed in a dark room with the single spotlight gives me the impression of isolation she's felt before and maybe a bit in the circus too, but apparently everybody else got that too (except Ragatha, she got that fucked up an evil red lighting) but meh, still felt interesting to point out
- Something to be said about how Gangle and Jax have a somewhat similar start and presentation of their nightmares, with Jax's issue being ridicule and fear of vulnerability from the outside, Meanwhile Gangle's is mostly about her lack of control of her own emotions and inner turmoil. idk, the two things circling around just feels similar to me, maybe its a reach
- AUGH the fact she's just on her knees, crouched and small cowering in shock from everything, idk it just felt like exactly how it feels sometimes to spiral like that, you just want to hide away and it just crushed me seeing her like that :(
TRUCK THEORY, WHAT THE HELL IS UP WITH THIS TRUCK!!1! IT HAS TO MEAN *SOMETHING* RIGHT?? ITS COME UP TWICE NOW
But i do have an idea that is probably a total reach but it *feels* like it makes sense to me so fuck it here i go (TRIGGER WARNING, THIS THEORY INVOLVES SELF HARM)
Okay so main main thoughts on the truck are entirely based around a theory a friend had told me on re-watching and it REALLY feels significant.
What if at the end of EP 4, just like how Pomni made the exit door in ep1, Gangle accidentally subconsciously Conjured the truck. I think that ep 4 scene can be interpreted in a billion ways, but i tend to lean towards this particular instance genuinely being an accident but still caused by an unstable state she was left in.
But heres my general idea, i think the Truck is a symbol for Gangle for an attempt at self harm. (On barely other basis) I think there might have been a significant moment for Gangle outside where she got incredibly close to getting ran over, but ultimately not being harmed, whether it was a failed attempt at self harm, backed out last second, or genuine accident.
But what I think what the Truck is, is a haunting reminder of that impulse, bc ESPECIALLY being stuck in purgatory, the shame of that decision or lack of would be killing her. It'd be an incredibly easy spiral to go down with either blaming herself for not being an adult and just solving her issues to get on with life, or maybe wishing she could've just gotten out while she had the chance, and THAT feeling also bringing shame. Its a horrible spiral to be trapped in, but now in the nightmare, Caine uses this to punctuate the stagnant life Gangle had lead. further confirming Gangle's fear, that maybe she *deserves* this
is this all entirely speculation and padded wall scrawling? most likely but this interpretation just feels right to me so idk.
oh god this post is long uh oh
These are just my crazed ramblings, puh LEASE comment or msg me if anyone has other interpretations for this scene, id love to continue rambling (and sry if mine were kinda dark)
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