SHOTGUN DIPLOMACY

AND IF MY DAY KEEPS GOING THIS WAY I JUST MIGHT BREAK YOUR FUCKING FACE TONIGHT!

[crosshairsdemon]

HANAEL, THE ADVERSARIAL: Soldier of fortune. Gun for hire. Bastard for the love of the game.

OC RP BLOG || FANDOMLESS AND SELECTIVE || REBOOTED 2026

A darkly humorous meditation on violence, rebellion, and waging wars of attrition against yourself. Written by Dog.

ABOUT || RULES || LORE || STARTERS

TAG DIRECTORY || WISHLIST

*Forever and always in cahoots with @houndofgod

[crosshairsdemon]

Anyways. Small promo for my incredible and amazing wife. Follow @houndofgod if you want some action from a beautiful ass-kicking, no-nonsense werewolf lady with a checkered past and a heart of gold. Audrey is an unbelievably versatile muse with an incredible writer. I'm not kidding when I say there is truly something for everyone here. Go and see why I fell in love with her! You will too.

[outofeverythingthisnamewasleft]

The demolition of the steeple of St. George's Church (Georgenkirche) in East Berlin.

[crosshairsdemon]

GET TO KNOW THE MUN

nickname(s): Dog

zodiac: gemini/year of the pig, baby!

last movie i saw: Bugonia

last thing i googled: goofus and gallant

favorite musician: Spotify says Chevelle, but it's probably Clutch or Tool.

song stuck in my head: Currently a mashup of Milk of The Madonna (Deftones) and Zydrate Anatomy. Could be worse!

other blogs: none active

do i get asks: more than I know what to do with whenever I get a prompt, otherwise not really.

following: about 30ish blogs right now. I'm enjoying having a quiet dash.

amount of sleep: 5ish on work nights, 7-8 on the weekend.

lucky number: 6

what i’m wearing: work duds--steel toed boots, strichtarn overalls, and a United Way shirt from my old shop.

dream job: honestly, my job kicks ass. I want to get better at it so I can do more of it.

dream trip: It has been a long time fantasy of mine to pull up roots and go live in a totally different part of the world for a year or two. A working vacation in the Caribbean or the South Pacific would fit that bill nicely, I think.

favorite food: my wife cooks a killer steak.

play any instruments: Saxophone when I was younger.

languages: English, G-code

favorite songs: Somebody Told Me (The Killers), Skinny Little Bitch (Angelspit), Hacker (Deathgrips), Solid Gold (Battle Tapes), Slaughter Beach (Clutch), The Pretender (Foo Fighters), Gratitude (Oingo Boingo), The Pot (Tool). I could go on.

random fact: I target trained my pet fire skink.

describe yourself as aesthetic things: The Wound Man; scrappy three-legged, one-eyed dogs named "lucky"; lizards without a tail; planted terrariums; pancakes for dinner; messy gardens; work boots with the tread worn flat.

tagged by: @sunmad, allegedly!

tagging: @houndofgod @concentratedbitterness @gravegotten @unholycarrierpigeon @nichtsehen

[vamplire]

assert your dominance. bite the vampire.

[renblackstones]

[crosshairsdemon]

@houndofgod and I are already workshopping a plausible angle for a Yeerk/Andalite forbidden romance in our animorphs AU. Never ever doubt our dedication to making our dolls kiss in every universe.

[crosshairsdemon]

Anyways. Small promo for my incredible and amazing wife. Follow @houndofgod if you want some action from a beautiful ass-kicking, no-nonsense werewolf lady with a checkered past and a heart of gold. Audrey is an unbelievably versatile muse with an incredible writer. I'm not kidding when I say there is truly something for everyone here. Go and see why I fell in love with her! You will too.

[limbel]

NEVER HEAL indulge in self sabotage romaniticize self isolation ALWAYS QUIT reject your potential never break the cycle let the curse win

[crosshairsdemon]

It's my birthday. Gonna try to push some drafts out before my work week starts.

[houndofgod]

Happy Birthday to the absolute best guy and my best friend in the whole world!

[crosshairsdemon]

That's right, assholes. I'm officially six years old.

[crosshairsdemon]

The victor earns the title "The Great" All the mysteries get unlearned, all the history just becomes a string of dates The hordes overrun in a clean sweep Destroyin' everything that was better, where's the glory in makin' mothers weep?

[crosshairsdemon]

🍇for Goose, Busan, & Gryphus plz. Favorite album pulled from a hat: Sing Along Songs for the Damned and Delirious

Send 🍇 + your favorite album if you want an out of pocket song suggestion for your character. || LITERALLY ALWAYS ACCEPTING. LET ME FORCE MY MUSIC ON YOU

Oh jeez, this is a spread.

Tunguskaa- No Diggity by Blackstreet will always be the definitive Goose track for me. I will not be taking criticism at this or any time.

Busan - D.W.S. by Infectious Jelqing ft. Arseny.

Gryphus- Rapture by Rival Sons. I hurt my feelings with this one. I think you would find a lot of Gryphus inspo in Rival Sons' discog.

[crosshairsdemon]

In what capacity are we trying to fix you?

Hanael shrugged, turning grime out from under his claws with the tip of a knife. "I cannot answer that for you. It depends on what you find concerning or objectionable about my lifestyle."

He paused as if considering something. "But since you asked, I am suffering from a debilitating lack of head. You could start there."

[crosshairsdemon]

What would fix you possibly would be an exorcism from the pope himself. Possibly.

"Is your goal to fix me or banish me. Better men have failed, in either case."

[spunsugarmusings]

Anonymously tell my muse what either your muse or you, the mun, think would fix them

[crosshairsdemon]

Extremely thankful that I have the most gullible and trusting dog ever because he has needed so many pills this week. I don't think he understands that smooth peanut butter isn't supposed to have chunks, because he just sees the glob on our fingers and inhales it. I can squirt his gabapentin suspension in some chicken pate and trust utterly that he will scarf it down. All of my other dogs stopped falling for that trick after a few days--maybe they put crack in canned food now, idk. But he will also let us just squirt it into his mouth! We can even trust him not to rip the sock off without putting him in an e-collar. Genuinely the best boy ever.

Clark (AKA Mr. Booboosocks AKA Stinkbat AKA Stinko AKA Gork) gets surgery and/or a biopsy tomorrow to address the huge nasty lesion that randomly formed on one of his toes late last week. Fingers crossed it's only an imbedded splinter. BLOW HIM A KISS OR ELSE.

[crosshairsdemon]

Clark update!

Mr. Clark Booboosocks has returned home safe and sound. Vet found what may have been thistle or ingrown hair. He appreciates your kisses!

[marchandmodeste]

@crosshairsdemon liked for a starter

"So, what news from the front?"

It's an expression The Duke picked up back in the war and liked so much that he never stopped using. It's surprisingly applicable.

His big hands are occupied as he speaks, polishing an antique shotgun. Over his head, a jeweler's glass, which gives him the appearance of having one eye bigger than the other.

"If you're here to ask again about that stock you ordered, I'm afraid it is still in the post, so to speak."

[crosshairsdemon]

"Which front." Hanael quipped, brushing a wreath of garlic aside to take shelter from the rain. Being large men both, there was not much room under the awning of the Duke's covered wagon.

The associate who had referred him here had snickered when he called the Duke a veteran. But to Hanael's eye, he owned his space like a warrant officer at a front line depot. Titles such as his could still be authentic in the older, battle-scarred parts of the world. Though his marching days might be over, it was not difficult for the demon to picture a fellow soldier when he looked at the Duke.

Well, whatever he was--he was also a merchant. Annoyed by the news, Hanael tried to slick some water off of the singed and torn shoulder of his jacket before it soaked through.

He didn't have the luxury of waiting much longer on his order. The hordes of Hell were waiting; waiting on him to put a weapon in their hands. He could feel the pressure of their unrest at his back, under his feet.

The demon's tail twitched behind his feet. "And I suppose this is preamble to telling me you can arrange to have it expedited for a nominal fee. So name your price already. Sponge bath? New shirt?"