(18+)nsfw

@crowkink

vent doodle blog main blog: sarunono.tumblr.com

380 posts

what did i do wrong

im not good enough. im noth worth the time. theres something better. am i a burden. am i the worst. what did i do wrong. what is it im not. i dont get it. what do i believe. was everything just a memory. can i not be loved. does love exist. is caring and kindness real. im alone. theres no one there. i dont want to be here. i dont want to be anywhere. something was taken away and ripped apart. where do i go now. no one is there. i dont want to be here. no one is kind and gentle. everyone leaves they dont look back. is this a nightmare. am i dreaming

love doesn’t exist.

you know, sometimes i do think i deserve more that the crap people shove down my throat to shut me up or say that they did it out of love (or whatever it is they call it). itd be nice to be given some effort, but without feeling like im asking too much, because im sure anyone would love to tell me how much i dont give to them. its not that much effort to be honest. its like no one really puts substance into anything thats for me. its like i really am a decorative toy or like a poodle or something. its there for you to know and show, but thats all youll do with me. everyone makes me feel like this and its... dissappointing. its sad. and here i thought o was a significant enough person to have something worth being. but am i a thing. am i only a thing. dont i exist as a person with feelings. with pains and desires. why is it always about you guys. why dont you just think of just me for once.

why do i bother with people. they just hurt. always hurt. id like to feel nice for once. stop guilting me. stop draining me. stop taking all the life and happiness out of me. stop hurting me. i want to cut everything off just so i can feel safe.

cant stop feeling like i have to pry and exert all of my energy and being just so someone will talk to me or just enough that i can keep up, because no ones going to take the time to stop and look at anything else besides themselves

“I became a creature of silence and solitude.”

— Renée Vivien, tr. by Jeanette H. Foster, from “A Woman Appeared To Me,”

“…and we’ll dance in the night, as long as the moon is up.”

Lucia (1972) - Judy Dater

markthompsonartist

Rest 28 x 35cm Oil on wood 2017

in one week it’ll be my three year anniversary with my beloved. its so amazing… he’s so amazing, we’re so amazing together. riding the highs and lows together no matter what, doing our best to grow together and trust each other even when we feel we’re at our worst. and falling deeper and deeper into love, true love. it’s incredible, my heart cries out that it’s not possible to love anybody more than this but it’s always proven wrong and builds and builds. sweeping love like the wind. later this year we’ll be getting our first apartment together, we’re working so hard to meet our goals as a couple. it’s so beautiful, i’ve never felt like i was constantly dancing through life with anybody until i met him. it’s so lovely, my heart could scream.

and i know that we’ll carve out the life we want together, we’ll overcome everything. i know that in a few more years, once we’re in a good stable position and things have settled, i’m going to go down on my knee and ask him to marry me. i cant wait to see his face when i do, i can’t wait but i surely can. i can see our future so clearly and it shines so brightly, being his husband and protecting him and our family. waking up to find him in the garden, watching him for a while and smiling because my life feels so perfect.

i was meant for you, darling. these arms, these hands, these lips, this whole body was made for you and to love you. this heart was made to belong to you. i truly believe that. every year we face life together i believe it more and more, and i love you more deeply than ever.

ORE

#w what do i do my ears are burning you jerk #aaahghhghkl im blushing;;//-dontlookatme #eyes-ore #i love you too you #but im hella embarrassed you butt

crowren au time! what if @crowkink‘s young crow met my young wren? orz….. wren would probably try to sell him something

hehehhe its so cute i hope they get along well

#hell buy all the furs #bf art #crowren

I never could figure out why I was so unhappy.

#crow #blood #die crow die die die

tried to capture the moon on my phone one time when i went out for a walk. the pictures dont do justice

#moon #crow cam #life of crow #im going to go out for walks again

doodling @crowkink ‘s crow… he’s probably better at fake smiling than he thinks he is. pff

one of these days im gonna draw a proper comic about how our precious crow and wren met. i adore them..

w-what fake smile....

#only to get out of uncomfortable situations;;#no else sees it lol #crow #bf art #wheres wren

I take a lot of pictures of random things, but each one of them have so many interesting memories. These were some of the few that were saved from last year. I’ve always loved to go on walks especially if im feeling off or hurting. It helps clear your head, but nowadays i have to limit myself otherwise ill never return.

#life of crow #helplessly looking back at the things that made me smile

ooooold crowren sketches i never finished =v=;; changing stomach bandages is an… intimate affair lmao you can fill in the blanks of what wren notices

wren spots something....is everything okay?pff

#crowren #bf art #hehe

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