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[crownsandcrayons]

I think I realized why I have an eating disorder.

It’s kinda simple, attention. I’m a fucking attention seeker. But in many other ways, it’s complex. I want that feeling that you get when people care about you in the way that they worry about you. I want people to feel bad for me and know I’m sick because I’ve always been sick and I just want the sickness to be bad enough that people actually notice. I want to be a sad story. I want people to look at me and feel like I’m slipping out of their fingers every minute. I don’t want them to interfere, no, I just want them to see me as I am. I am someone who will never be okay.

[crownsandcrayons]

Binge free!

i haven't binged in 8 days. Its not a lot, but it feels wonderful. I finally feel like my weight won't slip out of my fingers at any moment. I have control

[crownsandcrayons]

3 days into my fast and I still feel disgusting, why don't I feel empty yet?

[idontlikedicktionaries]

REBLOG IF ITS OKAY TO TALK TO YOU.

Please.

[crownsandcrayons]

Me weighing myself every morning knowing that the number chooses whether or not I eat

[crownsandcrayons]

i love it when coca cola makes a new flavor and theyre like "hold up gotta make one for the anas too" and make a 0 cal version

[crownsandcrayons]

part of me is only starving to commit suicide but in the skinny way

[crownsandcrayons]

why do I act like I need food for fuel when I still have so many fat cells?

[crownsandcrayons]

am I even me

its so weird that I can't trust myself around food. I am always aware that I'm about to destroy days of hard work before I binge. Why don't I care? What happens to my brain in the moment where I go from "being this light is the only reason I'm alive" to "I couldn't care less" in mere seconds? Who am I?

[crownsandcrayons]

[crownsandcrayons]

I hate breaking my fast sm because then I have to wait for like an entire other day just for it to have been 24h since I’ve eaten 💀 like can time please just go faster so I can feel good about myself

[crownsandcrayons]

Sincerely hoping that nothing stops me from fasting this week

[crownsandcrayons]

Sometimes I think I don’t have an Ed and then I remember that I have successfully gaslit myself into thinking that 150 calories is enough for one day 😀 according to Google it is not

[crownsandcrayons]

Talking apples

Ok, so, listen for just a second. There exists a species of apples that are sentient and can talk, and they are called Chattercrisps; however, the have a subspecies of talking apples that are somewhat evil. These apples are called Malovox Apples. They are both edible, if you can catch them, that is. Chattercrisps mostly use their mouths for talking, socializing with other Chattercrisps, animals, and humans. They are herbivores and mostly eat grass. If you eat them, they taste like a mixture between honey and beef. Malovox Apples usually use their mouths for consuming. They are carnivores. Their teeth are sharp and if they do say anything, it’s whispering, only for the purpose to draw you closer. If you can catch one, they taste like blood.

:)

[crownsandcrayons]

Question

Do you ever get a word stuck in your head, like it was a song? I do. The word currently stuck in my head is “Apple” what’s yours?

[crownsandcrayons]

“Do you want hot chocolate?” *puts Hershey bar in toaster* “okay”

[crownsandcrayons]

Ok but

Imagine a fantasy novel where everyone has different powers and stuff but then we get to the final act where they're defeating the main antagonist and their henchmen and one of them just pulls out a fucking rifle and shoots one of the protagonists

Just a thought