Thinking about the sister Daniel and father Philip cards that I desperately wanted but couldn’t drop £70 to get, they would’ve poped off in my journal
i love when they go live i love the ability it gives them to say absolutely batshit things but something about it thats endlessly amusing to me is how dan frames it as “oh when we go live it gives phil the ability to say crazy shit” when phil’s crazy shit is like. an allegedly accidental innuendo. meanwhile we have dan live in 4k saying phil needs to propose to him already
can’t stop thinking about the hypothetical dnp wedding. i’ve seen people say dan would be a bridezilla and i agree but in like. the opposite way
imagine phil goes to hospital one day and the nurses don’t let dan in because he’s “not family” and “being his ranch metaphor doesn’t count” and dan is fuming. he’s not having that
so the second phil is better dan tells him they’re getting married. not asks, tells. he makes a list of every registry office in london and visits them one by one with a clipboard and a chart to rank them all
cleanliness, distance from the phouse, politeness of the registrar, decor, how well stocked the bar is. he makes a list of everything then gives each place its overall ranking until he finally decides on the worst possible place
marriage is just a piece of paper, after all. he hates commitment. it’s so heteronormative and archaic. this is just for legal reasons, of course. and he doesn’t want anyone to think otherwise.
so he books the rudest registrar with the dirtiest floors on the other side of london and tells (again, tells) phil they’re getting married in two weeks. phil asks if he can know anymore details. dan says no.
then he spends the next two weeks going through both of their wardrobes finding their worst clothes, picking out awful t shirts and shorts and seeing which combinations clash the most. because he can’t have people think he cares about what what he looks like at his wedding. it’s not like it means anything
so in the most atrocious outfit you’ve ever seen with a pair of ill fitting, non matching rings they got from a charity shop in their pockets, they head to the registry office. the registrar is late, coughs on them, and forgets their names. dan thinks this is perfect.
then after the most basic ceremony with only the staff as witnesses (because there’s no way dan is inviting their families. that would make this day important) they end it with a crisp high five and some finger guns (because this is not for romantic reasons, shut up)
dan’s ring is too big for him so he has to hold it in place on the tube with his other hand. (he’s not lovingly twirling it around his finger, piss off)
and when phil surprises him when they’re back home with a pair of customised, engraved rings, dan agrees to wear his. but only because it would make phil happy. not because he likes it. this is a business arrangement. a contract signed with a coworker. something that will make it easier for dan to get all of phil’s stuff when he inevitably dies tripping over a squirrel
so everytime phil catches dan looking lovingly down at his ring and smiling fondly while he caresses it and twists it to read the engraving, he doesn’t mention it
"It's us against the world, together we'll survive" not about Dan and Phil versus the world but about Dan and Phil and the phandom versus the world........... they make me sick
the way phil introduced the idea of coming back to the gaming channel to dan as something they could do as infrequently as he wanted and could be stopped at any time and now they're rebranding their joint channel to just be dan and phil.
i'm gonna be real, i think them rebranding to just dan and phil, which is going to present more as a couple's channel proper, is almost if not as significant as a wedding. especially the way dan emphasized the commitment of it and comparing it to putting a ring on it.
this channel that was made when they were still in the closet and trying to put on a front, is getting rebranded as something that is more about dan and phil's lives together than gaming.
dan and phil using a funeral setting to tease the return of the gaming channel vs dan and phil using a engagement language to tease the gaming channel being rebranded to just dan and phil.
a funeral and a resurrection being a surprise, like they've said coming back and having the response be so major was. it being full of excitement but still the feeling of grief and the added feeling of confusion. a good thing but scary and not planned for.
an engagement being a choice after a long relationship, a mutual decision. full of excitement with a look toward the future. toward commitment.
okay now that the tit livestream is over i'll stop gatekeeting this joke. after phantwerp i told my sibling (who had to listen to me explain why i thought dan and phil shared the tatinof tour bus bed when i was 15) that dan and phil admitted to sharing the tatinof tour bus bed in their new tour and he said wow. maybe next tour they'll admit to sharing a house together
tangentwithtanner
ellievsbear
dededos
kianamaiart
turnnoffyourmind
prguitarman
