( THE CRYSTAL BALL. )

❝ tell me what you want to hear, something that will light those ears. sick of all the insincere so i'm gonna give all my secrets away. ❞ welcome to the crystal ball, the gossip blog for third gen hq, ran by hogwarts' very own "seers". feel free to send in all your gossip, questions & confessions about the characters of the rp. asks & submissions can be sent in character or anonymously.

[crystalgazers]

some say that the wotters aren't born out of mortal flesh. some say that in the sunrise hours, on the days when gryffindor's points are above three hundred, on full moons, they can be seen oozing out of a wall, fully formed and sentient, groaning, and gurgling, 'must... lose... points...'

This is quite frankly the best thing I’ve heard all year. The leading theory as to how that family exists. I’m going to get this immortalized, engraved in gold and hung on the wall in the Gryffindor common room with a permanent sticking charm. You salty, clever little thing you. 

[crystalgazers]

fletcher parkinson-macmillan cheats on lucy weasley every thursday in the unused classroom off of the gunhilda of gorsemoor corridor.

GASP. With who? Carlotta? Wendy? James?! Someone get me some proof, and send Lucy Weasley a Carrie Underwood CD, asap.

[crystalgazers]

I heard that valeria carrow ran off to elope with alex ollivander.

Excuse me? I understand Val’s brand of lunacy could be considered hot under the right circumstances, but there is no way Alex Ollivander would waste his god-given good looks on a lifetime of Valeria Carrow temper tantrums. This has got to be a shotgun wedding.

[crystalgazers]

honestly tho who's gonna have the most iconic death??

…that’s a bit morbid, isn’t it? You must be a fun one at parties. But if you’re seriously  asking, I wouldn’t be surprised at all if a Wotter ends up heroically sacrificing themselves to save someone else. Most of them seem like the martyr type – we’re all just waiting for the shoe to drop to be honest.

[crystalgazers]

scorpius and albus looked pretty cozy together at the party...

Yawn. When aren’t they all over each other like flies on dragon shit? Tell me when something involving those two happens with literally anyone else and I’ll be shocked, darling.

[crystalgazers]

teddy x louis x millie threesome after the after party, you heard it here first!

Teddy, honey, are you alright? You know you can talk to us right, this is a safe space, was it that rough of a night? That is not a mix I’d have expected whatsoever, oh to be a fly on the wall. I suppose that after attempting to accost the middle Potter and drag him to the dance floor, Mirren found another toy to play with, two in fact.

[crystalgazers]

Is this 911 because I'd like to report a murder, Nadia Zabini slayed Marzia Yaxley at the after party this weekend, there were no survivors.

And rumor has it that Yaxley was so shook she was seen crying in the bathrooms so much you’d think Moaning Myrtle possessed her. How sad.

[crystalgazers]

What are the odds that the reserve players get another go on the pitch for another match this year?

Knowing the amount of bullshit the Gryffindors like to start? High. And I’m actually holding out the hope that Val Carrow is the pregnant one – there has to be a reason why our resident party girl decided to up and leave the castle the day of our quidditch rager. Not to mention, all of those hissy fits she’s been throwing lately? Would make sense that it’s hormones.

[crystalgazers]

I heard Phoenix Yaxley is actually a boggart and our school's collective fear is an entitled whiny white boy.

“Compelling theory. Someone try using Riddikulus on him and turn him into Steve Buscemi. The resemblance is truly uncanny.”

[crystalgazers]

Was I the only one who saw Celia Bones downing alcohol like it was water at that party? Wasn't she supposed to be in the hospital wing or something?

“Oh, we all saw, and more importantly we all saw Max Flint chasing after her like an overgrown puppy chasing a particularly tipsy bone. If he fools you once, shame on him, Celia; but if he fools you twice...”

[crystalgazers]

judging by the amount of alcohol they both drank, neither nadia nor lily are pregnant. wendy is still in the running though.

“Sigh. And a Zabini-Lupin baby would have been so gorgeous, too. Well, I can still hold out hope for my scandalous Wendy-Fletcher-Lucy baby mama drama, at least.Those Weasleys are notoriously fertile.”

[crystalgazers]

The middle Potter was seen gushing over the nobody Cross? That interest you at all?

“Not really. You know what they say about birds of a feather----maybe these two can get together and bore us all to death with their excessive whining?”

[crystalgazers]

Bored, bored, bored. Surely someone has something for us about the match? The party? What a shame, maybe Carrow was right and it really was as boring as she was hoping it’d be without her illustrious presence, yawn people, give us something. 

[crystalgazers]

carlotta and fletcher were all over each other at the party. i spy another weasley girl/fletcher cheating scandal.

Is that boy ever not tired of putting his personal relationships under extreme duress? I mean, I can’t exactly blame him after watching Fortescue wield that bat during the game, it got me all hot under the collar. But if you’ve been unfaithful before, asking for that kind of trust is kind of taking the piss, don’t you think? Weasley women letting themselves be walked all over, it just isn’t right. Either way I hope Carlotta used protection because Merlin only knows where that boy has been.

[crystalgazers]

dominique weasley? lady in the streets but a freak in the sheets.

We can only hope, can’t we? I sometimes daydream about what might happen once that ridiculously tight little ponytail of hers gets let down. Power to the princess, if you’re gonna work hard you should get to play hard. She already has the assorted Wotters to worry about, girl’s gotta live.

[crystalgazers]

Practically everyone in the Room of Requirement with far too much firewhiskey and loud music? Who do you think is most likely to be dancing on tables by the end of the night?

Well, my favorite party girl Valeria Carrow is MIA this weekend, sadly, but I’m still holding out hope that there will be plenty of people boarding the Hot Mess Express. My favorite candidates? Hogwarts’ resident drunken uncle Fletcher will probably be swinging from the chandeliers by the end of the night. I heard Leda Avana was double fisting some high quality spirits, so expect some messiness from her. Leia Rookwood is high off a quidditch win and probably still on some pain meds from Pomfrey, none of which should be mixed with alcohol but probably will be. Carlotta Fortescue is already getting sloppy and the night is still young. And if she’s not pregnant, then I’m sure everyone’s favorite lush Lily Potter will give us more than a few things to write about.

[crystalgazers]

give me the scoop on max flint and celia bones?

Didn’t they date until he threw her out like yesterday’s trash? Let this be a cautionary tale, friends: when it comes to those aloof, emotionally unavailable boys, you’re usually the rule, not the exception.