[start id: a black and white drawing cropped from p.29 of the Usborne Guide to Computer and Video Games (1982). The image shows a chessboard with lights and mechanical arm built in.
Image caption reads: "The robot arm on this chess-board makes all the computer's moves, and removes your pieces when the computer captures them. If the computer loses the game, it flings its arm about, flashes its lights and shrieks." end id.]
I assumed this emotionally dysregulated chess robot was just a 1980s fever dream, but apparently it exists, and glories in the name of "The Novag Robot Adversary":
Quoth the gorgeously Web 1.0 (but still updating in 2023?!) Chess Computer UK:
The Novag Robot Adversary is the most iconic of chess computers. There are several reasons. Firstly, for a product of 1982, its startling futuristic appearance. Secondly the robot arm which in terms of robotic character, comparative speed and range of movement is extraordinary for a consumer product. Thirdly the variety of functions - including autoplay, automatic setting up of the pieces for a new game, trace and review, best move, sound, lights, printer support, and not forgetting the tantrums produced by the ‘emotions’ button which involve waving of the arm, flashing lights and noisy sound. These functions all contribute towards a very impressive and entertaining machine, which was outstanding when it was first sold, and has not been bettered since.
That page also has videos of the machine in action, including this heart-rending footage of it losing its shit:
I am inordinately happy to learn about this.
--
July 2025 Update: This post is my first (and so far only) one to get any notes. My midnight rambling while deliriously tired and anxious due to work travel in May 2023 got picked up by @derinthescarletpescatarian and spread to the various fandoms of cute little guys, and it has been utterly heartwarming to watch over the last two years. Thanks to everyone who added their comments in the tags, I've extracted some of my favourites below:
My absolute favourite (which I sadly did not screenshot) was something like "what having no vag does to a mfer".
Credit obviously to Mike Watters of the Chess Computer UK site for his material, along with the Usborne Guide to Computer and Video Games (1982), and of course Novag for their extraordinary machine. Thanks also to @thesingingone for letting me know the original link was broken, prompting this update.
gummygunk
izzy806
pixelskylines
tangentwithtanner
theartofmadeline
2087
