“You’re Okay”
When I started dating him, I didn’t picture it being like this.
We both shared similar interests with our hobbies. We had fun, sexually charged banter. We were able to share lots of laughs together.
But I never pictured what it would be like to share the ugly moments together.
I’ve had a nasty cold the last few days. Nothing horrible, but it’s been unpleasant to say the least. Today, I made some questionable decisions regarding that. Protip: when you’re sick, drink lots of water, and don’t let yourself go the entire day having eaten only a few chocolates.
I didn’t think much of it when I asked him to take a shower with me. It’s pretty typical for us. I enjoy the intimacy, and it’s an excuse to have my hands all over him.
Toward the end of our shower, I started feeling a little dizzy. I figured it was a combination of being sick and showering in hot water – it wouldn’t be the first time that I’ve gotten a little dizzy like that. I told him that, and I cooled down the water. When it didn’t work, I told him I just needed to get out.
When we turned off the water, I started feeling even more lightheaded. I remember feeling like the room was spinning, and I leaned my forehead on his chest, hoping it would calm down. And then there was darkness.
…
I opened my eyes, and he was whispering, “You’re okay. You’re okay. You’re okay. Move to the right for me. Just like that. Okay. This way.” I was sitting on the edge of the tub. I moved, and he leaned me up against the sink, still holding me up.
He rubbed my back and kept me upright while the room kept spinning. I was gasping, too, feeling as though I would throw up at any moment.
When my head calmed itself down and I felt coherent, I told him I could sit up so he could get our towels. I saw the debate in his eyes, knowing he wanted to get me dried off, but not wanting to let go of me. He grabbed the towels quickly, hardly leaving me for a second. He started drying off my hair while I wrapped myself in a towel and cried.
…
Even with there being a clear, logical explanation about why I passed out – being sick and not having eaten enough and potentially being a bit dehydrated – it was still a scary experience for both of us. I was emotionally scrambled for a few hours after that. I remember crying into his chest a half hour later, thanking him, apologizing to him, feeling wracked with guilt for him having to deal with my health once more.
He quietly assured me that he was there for me, that he was grateful that he could save me from getting hurt, as opposed to the alternative. He fits the textbook definition of what a boyfriend should be: kind, patient, funny, and loving. And there hasn’t been a single day we’ve been together that I haven’t been reminded of that in some way.
I didn’t picture him having to take care of me in such a way. Not so early in our relationship. It’s one thing to make dinner for your sick partner – it’s another to catch them as they black out in a shower.
But what an interesting experience it was, too. If there was ever any doubt in my mind that I trusted this man, it’s completely gone. He was there for me in one of my most vulnerable moments, and he handled it with the grace and gentle compassion that most of us can only aspire to have.
You never think about the ugly moments in relationships. But when they happen, they can change everything, or they can solidify the things you had previously only hoped were true.
I couldn’t have hoped for anyone to take care of me better than boyfriend did. I’m completely and utterly enamored with this man.
We talk about bad relationships a lot here - so sometimes, we like to feature some nice relationships here, too.
This was emotional for me to write. I hope some of you appreciate it.
-SD
