ctchmyskull

think -ramza

[ctchmyskull]

There is a misunderstood warmth in this place

Laying on my back i feel my heart burning and crackling like popcorn

Please keep an eye on it as it's likely to burn the house down

[ctchmyskull]

There is a humbucker tone beneath the shallows.

Every day it threatens to get louder.

One day it will raise high enough to break the firmament that binds it.

And the lines between above and below will become dotted and be relevant no longer.

That sound so dangerous

Like whales flirting with skyscrapers.

When it reaches it's peak

I will be gone.

[ctchmyskull]

In my dreams I have bulletholes in my palms

I see beetles crawl over children's toys.

We sit on narrow lakes of shimmer, deep as heavens pupils.

The color of twilight coals juxtaposing the hell I am afraid of, and the dirty red angry God im avoiding.

We sit on this lake and watch movies that dont ever start.

-Ramza

[ctchmyskull]

I hate the way they view me. None of it is true. I am not weak. I am not a pet. I am not happy. I am not ok. I am not a side quest. I am not respected. I am not respected.

[ctchmyskull]

Im breaking.im breaking im breaking im breaking im breaking Im breaking.im breaking im breaking im breaking im breaking

[ctchmyskull]

My eye hurts

I can't see

Im tired

I cant sleep

There's crows outside my window.

[ctchmyskull]

I do not feel respected

I do not feel safe to share my thoughts

[ctchmyskull]

It would be a damn shame to kill yourself so close to your birthday I think

[ctchmyskull]

Getting older

I haven't learned how to trust that people care

I dont know how to trust that people care

Its not that im let down

I just don't know if im allowed to feel that way

How do i tell people what I want?

Why should I tell people what I want?

They should know i guess

I want people to care

But when it seems like they might

I dont think I deserve it, and I want to kill myself.

[ctchmyskull]

Push my teeth in

Batter me blind

I just wanna waste all your time

I'm just an asshole

I'm stuck in the past

My ptsd it keeps on holding me back

I miss my sunset

[ctchmyskull]

//more old lyrics

Fuck you

I hope you die

I hope you both die

If I could dig a deeper grave I'd thrash the fuck out of you

And bury your bones in the place they'll never find you

Its a treasure to me

Its a treasure to me and no one else

[ctchmyskull]

So fuck your

Crucifix

Your double thumbs and stakes

I think that this might've been a mistake

I dont know all about you

And I dont fucking care

So fuck your

Aptitude in ordinary things

I wish that things had never changed

I fucked up and I messed up

All of my best years

Dont try to figure it out

[ctchmyskull]

//poorly written lyrics from ages ago I just found

My life and I

Have come to a series of walls

I've painted myself on them all

It depends on what you said to him

Cranberries taught me everything

I need to know

And I dont like the way

You feel like own me

And I dont know about this

I'm tripping off the danger

[ctchmyskull]

I'm so wasteful

Leave my crumbs for nothing

I know I could stay

But all my cells

Insist on dying

To the past with you

Past my own cause

I don't know it i can keep this going

I just want to be pure

[ctchmyskull]

Know youre speaking to my rhythm

Baby please dont tell me lies

I can see your lips and feelings

Even blind in both my eyes

I stay thinking there's no end to this

Some things just never die

I feel sorry for you bitches

Cuz you're running out of time

I could kill you where im standing

I see everything in twos

Set a fire where im standing

Keep my body black and blue

Writing songs about a feeling I just cant describe to you

I call everything better when I feel like its for you

[ctchmyskull]

Ready for my closeup

Pissing a commotion

I could go in hiding

But id rather leave a note shit

I

Can't do all that you want from me

Waste of breath

Appealing as its supposed to be

I dont know

Who i believe in these days

I cant fucking see a thing

I think i need a closer

Eyes rotting in my head

Clocks click its almost over

[ctchmyskull]

There is no sky to reflect upon when you are blind.

Is it worth believing in

Spiral Stairways