What anyone said @cthulhu-salad - Tumblr Blog

I wouldn't say I'm suicidal, but I've been thinking about not existing. The lack of passion I feel for anything creeps up on me and reminds me of every opportunity I've passed on. I wouldn't say I'm sad, but I'm not happy, I feel nothing.

angryladies

I went for a walk to go find/catch pokémon but the Pokémon Go servers were down!!!! So I just went for a walk in the sunshine on a summer day like some kind of idiot!!!!!! I feel bamboozled and tricked I did not leave my apartment for this

hahahaHAHAHAHA I GAINED 15 POUNDS T.T

ohjessmarie

lillos

heckin-good-memes

pokemon-personalities

this image of snorunt smiling radiates so much blessed energy...

pokemon-personalities

this is the snorunt of happiness and he wishes you nothing but peace and joy

Homesick & confused

I'm so homesick for my friends and community that I left behind in Winnipeg. It's crazy as I get older seeing what makes a place livable isn't location, it's the people you surround yourself with. I've tried so hard to build the same kind of relationships in Vancouver with new people but it's not the same. Being a newcomer and breaking into a friend group is a tough task when you are the way I am. Id love to create strong new relationships but for whatever reason it's a huge struggle for me.

There's so many things I love and want but I feel a wall infront of me like I'm a mime trying to get out of a box. I feel stuck, trapped, even. I'm afraid. I'm afraid that my past is causing me to feel the ways I'm feeling.

I am trying hard right now to achieve my goals but I feel that support from the most important person in my life is lacking. I feel that they are stuck, unhappy and will eventually resent me for living here when they want nothing more than to be back in Manitoba. I want them to do what they need to do but they don't tell me how they feel anymore. Don't tell me their wants, needs, feelings, fears, they tell me nothing.

I feel stuck because I miss my loved ones back home, but I've found an incredible career where my passions are. Yet, I feel, a need? A guilt? To move back to manitoba, is it because I want to? Or because they want to? I feel that if we stay here they are going to resent me more and more every day, but they don't want to leave me, but they're unhappy.

On-top of this I started at my dream "job" (unpaid internship) and they offered me a paid position but haven't gotten back to me with start date/pay confirmation. This is amazing, shouldn't I be excited? My coworker is pretty fucking awesome 80% of the time, she's fun and funny as hell but aggressively difficult to handle if things go off track a little bit. She's hardly experienced yet the only one present to train me, which in some cases is great but not all. I'm afraid that I might start somewhere that I won't learn at, or will learn incorrect things/bad habits that could be carried forward to other jobs.

Are these feelings valid? Or are they anxiety that I'm not good enough? Or are they feelings that I'm too good for that place which is worse imo.

Another thing, I had a huge realisation recently that I have defiancey issues and a superiority complex which actually makes sense. Since recognizing this I've noticed the way my brain likes to think and have taken control of it.

I don't know what I want, what this important person in my life wants and my mental health is still fucked. It's a perfectly fucked up way to start 2020, lost and confused.

sweetoothgirl

Pumpkin Swirl Cheesecake

upknorth

Real freedom lies in wilderness, not in civilization. — Charles Lindbergh. Our version of perfection shot by @leireunzueta #upknorth #getoutdoors (at Basque Country) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bvfn4BQHgMf/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1w7c15xos2vm2